Accepting Defeat

[JaiJai]

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Edited October 7, 2011 by JaiJai

[flander]

You're a victim? Are you a victim of your small penis? Or of your being miserable? There plenty of guys who have a small packages, but because they have so much more to their lives that's hardly what they dwell on.

So if having a big penis isnt the answer to a happy life...I wonder what is? What other things do you hope to accomplish in this lifetime?

I have no idea. Work is the only thing that I'm good at and child support payments are the only reason anyone really gives a shit that I'm around.

I hope you won't blame your penis for your unhappiness. You're penis doesnt make the decisions, he's just along for the ride.

Why not? It certainly has played a significant negative role and that wouldn't have been the case if it were at least a normal size. I know that even if a miracle occurs and I find another woman who will have something to do with me, I'll know she'll be faking any positive response if she does anything other than lie there staring blankly at the ceiling. She won't be satisfied and will use that as a point of contention to start fights, cheat, and eventually leave. Having that replay in my head at least once a day, why in the hell would I even bother trying? I know nothing is going to change, and if it does, it will be for the worse, so I know I should just HTFU and get used to the fact that I won't have sex again. Other than to vent, I have no idea why I come here since nothing anyone writes is going to make a difference....probably the same reasons people pick at scabs.

[Karamazov]

"Small men who are selfish enough to condemn "the one" to a life with a small man, are scum. Miserable people who know life is shit and still breed should be killed."

So nearlydead, you're calling me "scum"? Must be easy to do sitting behind your computer. Maybe you wouldn't say that to my face. Maybe you would.

What gives you the right to make such generalized statements. You think you know what the majority of small guys' marraiges are like? What are you going off of? This site? TV? Your small social circle? Come on, really.

You think you have everything figured out but your arguments reek with the blind absolutism/idealism of a angsty teen whose watched alot of tv but never been out of thier hometown. In fact, when you get down to it, most of you guys on this thread act like little toddlers sitting with you arms crossed pouting. Am I wrong?

By the way, my brother was a suicidal, drop dead miserable drunk when he got someone pregnant on a hook-up. When his daughter came along it was like a miracle happened to him. He was miserable, convinced life was shit and now he's got all kinds of things going for him and is a great guy to be around and a great father. I know it's the exception, but by your rational he should have been killed when he conceived his daughter. It's these types of arguments I mentioned earlier. Your negativity has covered you in layers and layers. The more you go the harder it will be to strip those away, if you'd even be willing to.

Flander, you say you replay this terrible sequence of events in your head at least once a day. Come on man, you don't have to be a Psy. D. to know this process will play out exactly how you visualize it for that exact reason. This is like p101. If you want something you have to see it. If you don't think you can you won't blah blah.

I sense you are a good person and want to have another meaningful relationship. For God sakes man kill those thoughts. Don't waste anymore time. Maybe you hit maybe you miss but we will all be gone someday so why not keep trying. What have you got to lose.

No one can make us feel any way if we don't want to feel that way. It may be hard but we can do it.

[Guest GingerSnap]

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Edited October 11, 2011 by GingerSnap

[flander]

Don't waste anymore time. Maybe you hit maybe you miss but we will all be gone someday so why not keep trying. What have you got to lose.

it is all a waste of time, money, and emotions. I think I've done enough of that for the first 20-25 years of my adult life. Edited September 28, 2011 by flander

[Karamazov]

it is all a waste of time, money, and emotions. I think I've done enough of that for the first 20-25 years of my adult life.

Really, what do you think you can take with you when you die? None of it. Give it all.

[IrmaJean]

I agree, Karamazov. Life is about now. What can you do with that? Flander, I hear that you are feeling disheartened, but there is hope. Please don't give up trying.

[flander]

Really, what do you think you can take with you when you die? None of it. Give it all.

I'd rather spend it on useful or productive things than wasting it on a fool's errand.

[Karamazov]

I'd rather spend it on useful or productive things than wasting it on a fool's errand.

Name something more useful than hope. Although I'm sure a cynic doesn't see it that way.

And by your posts it seams that "spend(ing) it on useful or productive things" hasn't exactly given you satisfaction or contentment. Man, the answer is sitting right in front of you, be brave enough to recognize it.

[flander]

Name something more useful than hope. Although I'm sure a cynic doesn't see it that way.

And by your posts it seams that "spend(ing) it on useful or productive things" hasn't exactly given you satisfaction or contentment.

but I'm at least not wasting it on activities that just end up creating more frustration, heartache, and misery. That's good enough for me.

Man, the answer is sitting right in front of you, be brave enough to recognize it.

recognise what?

that every relationship or attempt at a relationship since the mid teens has failed miserably, a couple resulting in the loss of tens of thousands of dollars over the years? Check!

that I loathe the area I've been stuck in for years and would rather read that it was consumed by a thermonuclear detonation than date the leeches and/or size queens that inhabit this cesspool? Check!

recognise that the area that I'll be moving to in a few years has zero single women in my age bracket? Check!

recognise that I'll be the grumpy old man that yells at kids to keep off his lawn and is generally pissed off at everyone? Check!

I'm sorry that I don't buy into the sunshine and rainbows.

[IrmaJean]

It's true that life isn't easy. Life can be very challenging and, at times, painful. Everyone is different and approaches life differently. Sunshine and rainbows do exist, though. Joy and love do exist. That doesn't mean you need to go skipping blissfully through the park. It just means be open to the possibilities. You can't ever see light if your eyes are closed.

[flander]

I'm just taking a realistic view of things. No eyes closed here.

[IrmaJean]

Optimistic. Realistic. Pessimistic. Which one fits for you?

Eyes can be open, and still be blind to the possibilities. The past does not necessarily dictate the future unless you are certain that it will.

[Karamazov]

Flander, you seem like an intellegent person. How can you take such an absolutist view.

For me, I know when I am hurting I generalize. I say that "things will never change", "everyone thinks of me this way" etc. etc. But in somewhere in the back of my mind I know it's just a coping strategy and I'm back in the self pity game (which in a sick way makes me feel good).

You seem to smart and deep of a person to truely believe that only negative outcomes are possible. I too am a realist, (hence my screen name), but the first thing a realist has to believe is that they cannot rely on their own perceptions being accurate. Life is too big and complicated. A pessimist or optimist can believe what they want because they can more or less choose to perceive something in a certain way. Just semantics but it sounds like you are a pessimist, choosing how to view your situation. Creating your own self fulfiling prophecies, not believing a different outcome is possible.

[Recluse]

Karamzov,

You have never once stated your size. Being genuinely small is different from having sps and those of us in the situation of being genuinely small have little hope of relationships.

[flander]

I've mentioned on this and other threads the various reasons for my pessimism. If I could change things, I would.

[Karamazov]

Recluse, I've mentioned my size in the first and only thread I've started. In the first paragraph.

"2inches long and 3.5 around flaccid. Fully erect I am just under average length and girth."

Flander, I've tried to look at some of your previous posts but you seem to have erased all of them.

[toulouse_lautrec]

Barely 4.25 inches long and 5'5" inches tall. I don't know what my girth is, but i'm about 2 wide. I can't even remember my penis growing during puberty. In its flaccid state, mine has always looked the same since I was 10-12. If it grew, it didn't grow much. Has anyone else noticed this? It's like I spent my entire young adolescent life waiting for things to happen to me that happened to all the other guys. Especially my height problem. I noticed my height problem, then my penis.

I have never seen a penis smaller than mine in porn. Not commercial porn or amateur porn. I know I am less than the "average". A girl I'm currently having some occasional fun with says I'm about 4/10 out of 10 guys she's been with, most have been at least an inch bigger, and one guy was 7 inches. The other 3 smaller than me were my size or just a bit smaller. She said I'm a "little less than average".

It sucks. I see guys with 5 inches or 5.5 inches complaining and don't think they should complain at all. I bet the guys with 3 inches are saying the same about me. But I'm only about 1-1.25 inches away from a micropenis I guess. Flaccid, sometimes I'm about an inch long! Sometimes almost 2.

Life sucks.

Edited October 1, 2011 by toulouse_lautrec

[flander]

Flander, I've tried to look at some of your previous posts but you seem to have erased all of them.

that's odd. I don't recall erasing anything on here.

[Karamazov]

Flander, I apologize. It wasn't you who erased all your posts.

[Karamazov]

Toulouse, I too have never seen a smaller penis than mine in porn (although it always seems like I've watched way, way less porn than most guys). But I really don't think anyone who was concerned with their size would do amatuer porn (for the most part).

I new right away to never try to compare myself to porn or I was just gonna feel terrible. Maybe I lie to myself, but I really think anyone who is comfortable enough to have sex on camera has at the very least an average size, and most likely above average.

[Lover]

I did not know the meaning of that term either. I think that is very sad that anyone would suggest such a thing. I am here trying to figure out how to emotionally encourage a wonderful man that I love. The last thing in the world I would want is some extra guy around ... the thought is literally making me nauseous. I am monogamous and want to deepen the emotional feeling of safety for this one man in my life. I do not know if we will have a long intimate relationship, I know we will be friends for life as we already have many years of friendship. But the idea of adding a second man to the picture repulses me. I am trying to see if it is a long term love connection, not a get off connection. I get off with him already we enjoy ourselves. His feelings of rejection from previous encounters are effecting the relationship at the initial stages.

I cannot see how complicating a relationship with an extra man could ever do anything but cause hurt.

[Notdoneyet]

Lover, in spite of all the negativity displayed here by others who feel they have been shortchanged by genetics, it really

only matters what YOU or any potential lover they may hope to entertain as their SO feel about them.

Guys have been beat up for so long over this handicap that it may well be the first thing that

comes to mind for them should their love life tank.

Realistically, sex is only one of a whole myriad of other activities that two people must accomplish

in order to have a successful relationship.

[Bundy]

You know, I'm just about to accept defeat. My actions over the last few months showed me how foolish I am, pursuing sex without a relationship. There is this strong urge for an exicting and vivid sexually lifestyle, but that requires some minimal qualification which I'm not able to fulfill, and I should just accept that. Every time I try to explain this to someone I just get offered the idea of a monogamous relationship, which is flat out something I absolutely do not desire in any way, so adjusting to a celibate way of life seems like the only reasonable way for me to not become entirely demented. Maybe get in touch with a psychiatrist who can prescribe stuff, just to dull the overall emotional response and sexual libido for the next 60 years, if I'm lucky maybe even less. Usually I would worry now about how this would affect my social standing, but just fuck it man, It's not like I'm not already a freak to most, so why bother about appearances. Also stopping posting here altogether, since I realized me being registered on this forum is pointless anyway. I don't have depression, bi-polarity, or any other illness, I'm just stuck in a personal philosopical existential crisis which really isn't relatable to anyone.

Anyway, merry christmas and happy new year

[Victimorthecrime]

Gentleman I can relate to what you are saying, I am small EVERYTHING and a complete loser with women there is always someone they soon find that they like better than me. To make matters worse I have always been nervous and axious around women plus I am super sensitive emotionally and cry easily. Perhaps the best thing for guys like us would be to find a woman that has been through hard times herself and is not into penetrative sex? I dunno, just sharing a thought.