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Stuck in a rut and don't know how to get out!


Jenna520
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I have never been in such awful shape all physically, mentally, emotionally and financially. My husband lost his job on July 19th and has applied for unemployment, but as with all "terminations" there has to be an investigation. To beat it all, my ex husband has not paid child support for this week so I have not a dime to name. I can't do anything about him not paying his child support until he misses atleast 6 payments. He knew we were in a tough place and has always paid, but when I asked him to pay the two dollars for a fee for my daughters classes and to put some money in her lunch account, I guess it showed just how broke we are.

The electricity is scheduled to be cut off this week, along with several other utilities with the exception of water. Our bank account is in the negative, and we have 38 cents to our name.

I'm running out of hope. I'm at the end of my rope. I've tried having yard sales to no avail. Someone ripped my signs down the last time I had a yard sale and I sat out there all day not knowing it, with no customers and no money.

I cannot work, I've applied for SSI and only in the beginning stages of it. I've been denied once. It will be the end of the year before I even hear anything. Being that I'm 27 years old and have a good education, I know they will turn me down again just as they did before.

I could use all the prayers for my family that we can get.

Any suggestions on how to make money when my husband can't find a job and I can't work?

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I'm so sorry, Jenna, for your financial struggles on top of everything else you have been dealing with. :o Money troubles can be so very stressful. That's especially hard when there are children involved. Does the school have a program for reduced lunch prices? Is there any kind of work you or your husband could do at home? I'm not certain of the extent of your injury so please forgive my ignorance in this. Can your family help you out until some money comes in? I'm sorry things are so hard. :( I hope the unemployment and child support come in quickly. I also hope your husband is able to find work. Take care of yourself.

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I've tried the ebay route but that didn't pan out. When my husband lost his job, I had to shut the account, because our bank account went into the negatives, and what I had in my paypal account wouldn't even cover the overdraft fees, leaving no money to ship the items out.

I've worked in Management, but I'm no longer able to do that now due to my health. That's why I have had to apply for disability. One positive thing did happen today... my father in law paid our electric bill before it was turned off. That was a load off my mind. I can do without, but I'll pick up cans (or try to) on the side of the road before my kids done without.

I've tried going to physical therapy for my physical issues, and was going to a therapist to help with my overwhelming anxiety problems, but had to quit going to the therapist when I lost my insurance, and the physical therapist referred me back to the pain clinic for cervical epidurals but they referred me to a surgeon. I can't have surgery because of the kids to fix my neck and back. I've got to care for them and I can't do that after the surgery, not for a while.

I recieved my SSI papers today that I have to fill out. After I get this done, it will be another step done, and the closer I may be getting to receiving SSI. I'm praying things will look up soon. What is freelancer.com?

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Freelancer.com outsources work to those who want to work on specific tasks as posted by the company or individual. A number of people bid on the project and one person gets the project. You can money into your account once you get a project and/ or complete it. They also have a live chat in case you have any questions. Check it out. I haven't been lucky to get any project so far but I haven't been persuasive either. You might want to check it out for yourself and see if it suits you.

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Jenna,

Bw sure to list all your meducal Dr's that you have been to . You will want their names and address's to put on the social security papers. Social security will help you obtain your records . These are important to support your claim of disability. And it will be better if the Dr's back you up when filing. If their is not enough medical evidence social security will send you to a CE. Consultive Exam. They will pay for the appointment . To gather more information of your claim. Be sure to go to any and all appointments they send you to. It can take up to five months to hear back , and that is the wait time . If you are denied the first time don't give up , keep appealing your claim because eventually the claim will go before a judge. Most claims are one at this level.

If you have PG&E their are programs for low income families to help pay the bill. You can also set up payment arrangements. Plus their is a program that is a Balanced Payment Plan where your bill will always be the same every month to pay. This makes it a lot easier to predict the bill and to stay on top of it. Where I live a person can get the bill paid if their is a shut off notice and cannot pay this program pays all of it . It is a one time thing , but is a lifesaver. I have used it before . Call your PGE office and ask about these programs in your county.

their are food programs for low income, struggling families. They are often sponsered by differrent churches , they give away boxes of food with produce.

And the children could qualify for free or reduced lunches through school. This program goes by income so call the school and ask about them. In my area certain organizations help families buy back to school supplies and backpacks .

If you have not done so already apply for foodstamps, medicaid , and aid through your welfare department. Your whole family could get the medicaid and then you would be able to talk to a therapist , Psychatrist , and have your medical needs taken care of.

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Thanks MScat, I've done the majority of the things you have mentioned but they all seem to fall through. I've went to our church and been able to get a little food once. That was a blessing all in itself. I applied for foodstamps, medicaid, etc, but since my husband is a recovering addict, and has been convicted of a drug felony, he has to have a drug assessment (which costs money we don't have, a drug test(we did manage to get that, proof that he has gone through drug rehabilitation(new management over this non profit drug rehab that he attended for a year says they have no record of him finishing the program even though it was court ordered. How could he have avoided jail if he hadn't done it so we can't get that proof), the kids can't get medicaid because of that reason until we can get all the proof to them, and he and myself doesn't qualify for medicaid here because you have to be legally declared disabled or pregnant. I've called several places to help with utilities in my county, they said they no longer take emergency situations, that they have enrollment once a year for those who need assistance and that was in July. Now how was I to know I was going to need assistance?? The electricity has been cut off twice but then my in laws decided they would pay it after it was cut off even though we asked for help constantly. The unemployment could take up to 8 weeks to be approved and even longer for a check to be issued. So far, nothing has been approved and he has been jobless since July 19th. I'm disgusted with the whole situation because it seems as though if someone has ever worked a day in their life, they can't get help when they need it. Yet those who choose not to work because they are just lazy have it made in the shade because they are getting all their bills and rent paid to boot.

The brake light is on on our only mode of transportation, I fear we are going to get evicted, my depression and anxiety is running rampant, I feel as though no one cares or understands what I'm going through. I miss my brother horribly, I'm tired of being secluded to this house where there's nothing but silence because the cable has been shut off. We can't afford to go anywhere. My dad comes and picks up my husband and goes hunting, leaving me here with the kids by myself all the time. As a matter of fact they are going out of state for a hunt for 5 days tomorrow night and I'll be here all by my lonesome to shew away the bill collectors and to explain to the landlord why rent is late for the fourth month in a row. Maybe I deserve some me time? But no one seems to think so. My mother is being outrageously hurtful and cruel to me at the moment. After hearing that she has no relationship with me and that she lost her ONLY CHILD when my brother passed away three months ago, I'm pretty fed up with her hurtful words. Now instead of facing the music that her son was an addict and that's what killed him, with her enabling him the whole way, she has convinced herself and my dad that my brother didn't accidently overdose, that he was killed or poisoned. I understand denial, but she knew my brother had a problem, keeping it a secret from the whole family for 15 years and now that the secrets out that he was an addict, she's doing anything and saying anything to make people believe otherwise. I am so sick of this sh**. One can only take so much before they just throw their hands up and give up. I feel about as lonely as one can feel right now, and the only way I can get through it, is by myself. Everything is driving me nuts at this point. I've tried coping by expressing myself in poetry, I've been praying alot, taking long walks, trying to be outside more, and just wrapping myself up into being a mother to my babies. But when night falls, and everyone goes to sleep, I can't shut my brain off, and the sadness hits. I'm starting on curtains this weekend. I've been meaning to finish that project for months and always get frustrated with it and stop. I've got to keep my mind busy at this point because if I don't I'm going to stress myself out completely, have a nervous breakdown, and drive myself crazy. It's got to get better, I don't want it to get any worse.

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I hope things get better for you and your family too! I wish that you could get some relief and time to yourself . Seems like your husband has mor suppport right now and can get away and do his hunting. But that does not help relieve any stress for you. Your dealing with so much all at once and it feels very lonely. Is their anyone you can lean on? Sometimes we have to hit rock bottom before anything starts improving. I hope your landlord understands about rent and something can be worked out. That is the last thing your family needs. your grieving for the loss of your brother while at the same time struggling financially. Could your husband work any side jobs ? Any plumbing or construction? My brother does these little jobs around town to keep the family a float . it helps them put food on the table becasue they struggle all the time . Nightime is the hardest of all becasue it is hard not to worry and it feels like everything is coming down at once. I will pray for you and your family .

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awww thank you so much. I like so many others could use some prayers. The thing with my husband is that I feel like he's glad he's not working and he's not seeking work either, which makes me angry. When I talk to him about it, he says, well then, you go find a job. If I could work, I would. I enjoyed working, not only because I knew that I was in control of the income therefore we would have income, but mostly because it gave me a satisfaction of knowing I was doing something to help. It also gave me less time to ponder and worry and my depression was less severe. I've been a mess all day long. My husband is staying the night at my parents so that they can leave out to go on their hunting trip early. The emotional mess I've been in today has made my physical pain excruciating. I've grit and grinded my teeth to the point I have a headache and my jaws hurt. My muscles ache so bad. I've cried to the point I can't believe I have any tears left, but I do. They are starting to brim up as we speak. I know that if things have gotten as bad as they can get, then it can only get better from here, but sometimes, especially when you have a lack of support and reassurance, it's hard to believe that it will ever get any better. I should be in bed right now. I'd love to be in bed, but I'm nervous. I hate being alone. My little ones are asleep, and it is very quiet. I need to just pray.

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Jenna, I'm sorry you're hurting so much. It must be very hard for you feeling there is no support for you there. ;) You've been through so very much. I enjoy writing poetry as well. It can be a helpful release and an expression of feelings. When it is very quiet, is there a part of yourself that you enjoy getting in touch with? Listen to music? Read books? I hope you are feeling better, Jenna. Take gentle care of you.

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