mscat Posted September 14, 2011 Report Share Posted September 14, 2011 I do not really even want to wrote about this. BUt, I am just not really doing all that great. I ran out of medication for nightime so I cannot sleep either, my vision is all blurred too so this is chalenging. My son leaves for school at 6:30am each morning and does not come home until 5:30pm. So I am all alone with the dogs. I do not want to get up anymore and don't until 3-4 pm. Just don't see a reason to. Everything is a burden right now, everything. Their is no joy in anything at all. Just breathing that is all. Trying hard not to fall back into self harming, which i am good at . I figure that if I just don't get up their will not be time to harm myself . And right now I really have no energy to do that either. i am isloated all day inside, and really do not like others around me anyway. I cannot stand to be around others but i cannot stand even being around me. So I am fuc***. Our finances are very tight this month which makes it even more difficult. My brother has not even stopped by for a while which sucks. I wish he did. I will not go over his place because his wife is a bitch. At least when my son is home it is better, but, then the day is over and he goes to bed. So i don't have a lot of time with him. It is becasue i have no control over things right now, and i do not like that, It was not my choice this month for it to be a bad month financially i am use to having a lot more funds then this, and it is stressful. I did manage to go to therapy today , in which I had not in a couple weeks. It only helped a little , and byu the time I really wanted to talk to him it was over., But, I had mentioned the wanting to Self harm , and he really did not want to even go there, CAuse he knows how bad it gets , I am, really not nive to myself at all if I get into that mode. I guess i just don;t have a lot going on right now , and things are getting to me very quickly. my stupid eyes suck right now, I can hardly see at all. I need glasses but can't afford them> And also have Diabetes so I think that makes my vision messed up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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