Paranoid thoughts

[AmyeH]

Hi all,

I have anxiety, depression and mild OCD.

I keep getting very paranoid thoughts which is causing my anxiety to spike at very high levels.

I've never really had paranoid thoughts as such before and it's only really been in the last week or so am I experiencing this.

For example. Right now. I'm sitting in my room on my laptop and I am facing the door. I can see people's shadows as they are walking past from the light under the door and I am getting visions of someone coming in and attacking me. It keeps playing out in my head and at the time, my heart starts to beat fast and breathing becomes laboured.

The paranoid thoughts are mainly to do with people attacking me but I am getting other thoughts of me getting injured by an accident and stuff. For example, I was in the art class the other morning and the teacher was standing in front of me using scissors. I had visions in my head of her slipping and the scissors injuring me. I'll keep the details vague of course but the images and little films in my head playing out are really intense and graphic. Highly unpleasant.

It's causing me to become a bit withdrawn which is not good at all too.

What can I do to stop this from affecting me so much? I know that they are just thoughts and am trying to accept them, let them in and pass through and go out. But it doesn't help.

Thanks.

[eppursimuove]

i worked in a huge deposit once and in some parts there wasent no light, so there where like ghost storys and roobers that get into the deposit at night, i was scared all time, when i had to go to part that didnt have much light and was kinda of creepy i always whent running with a flash light.

but one time i just got tired u know, and i just said if somethings has to happend it has to happends, and it could be anywhere so i just did my job with out thinking in this nonsense and the fear whent off with time.

so just dont think someones there focus in what ur doing and dont be afraid.

[AmyeH]

Thanks.

Ugh, feeling bad and fed up with this.

[Lana73]

Hi Amy,

Did you tell your doctor about what you are experiencing? I know there is a language barrier. But still, maybe this is something you need to let them know. How are your new meds working for you?

[AmyeH]

Thanks Lana.

It's been an interesting day.

Before I came in to the hospital, 10 months ago, I was diagnosed with BPD along with depression and mild OCD. Since being in the hospital, they have refused to recognise the BPD and said that I just have depression and anxiety. Today, after being here for nearly 11 months, I asked my psychologist what my diagnoses are. :eek: the first is Major Depression and the second is BPD. so now they have recognised it. She said that it's not regular or typical BPD but that I meet the DSM criteria.

So now it gives me clarity as to my progress being very slow and medications not doing too much.

I started on Prozac just over 2 weeks ago. I woke up this morning feeling very clear and my mood has been a lot higher. But hey, I have BPD so I don't know what tomorrow will bring.

I'm feeling very mixed about getting this diagnosis. It gives me clarity and more understanding but it's also scary being diagnosed with BPD. I have a lot to work on. Trying not to be triggered!!! But I'm feeling ok for now.

Advice? Thx v much.

[Lana73]

I'm feeling very mixed about getting this diagnosis. It gives me clarity and more understanding but it's also scary being diagnosed with BPD. I have a lot to work on. Trying not to be triggered!!! But I'm feeling ok for now.

I was told in the past that I might have BD but no one officially diagnosed me with that. I have heard that combination of prozac with lamictal or lithium takes care of depression and BD traits.

Give it some time. I know that with BD it is very hard to find the right medication. At least they now know,11 months later, what you have.

[AmyeH]

Thanks Lana. Much appreciated.

I don't think that the Abilify and Lithium I am taking are doing anything. I asked my psychiatrist if I could come off of them and she said that if the Prozac works for me, (or whatever next medication), then I can slowly come off of the Lithium and Abilify one by one.

I hope that won't be a mistake - Because it could be a combination of them working. On the other hand, I don't want to take medications for no reason.

I've had 2 very good days and am wondering if it's the Prozac. I know that I will have ups and downs anyway, but at least, I haven't felt like this in a couple of months. I don't feel overly great but my mood is a lot better than it has been in the last while, perhaps even a few months.

This is all very confusing indeed.

[Lana73]

I've had 2 very good days and am wondering if it's the Prozac. I know that I will have ups and downs anyway, but at least, I haven't felt like this in a couple of months. I don't feel overly great but my mood is a lot better than it has been in the last while, perhaps even a few months.

This is great, Amy!!! I am glad you are doing much better. I have taken prozac and it does help with the mood. It kind of gives you a balance so you won't have a lot of ups and downs. You sound much better too. Keep it up, Girl!!! We are here to support you:)

[LaLa]

I'm sorry I asked you how you are in the other theread before seeing this one, more actual ...

I'm also very glad to hear that you've had better days already!!! I hope tharapy will go better, too, when your moods are "under control" .

How about the "paranoid" ideations? Is it also better now?

[AmyeH]

Hi LaLa,

I was having a pretty relaxing weekend until some guy went crazy and got tied to a wheelchair and moved to the closed ward. It was pretty scary and really got to me. I was physically shaking.

Now it's continued (the anxiety) and has been a couple of hours since that even took place.. I am getting the paranoid thoughts again. I couldn't even go to dinner because I can't be around people and am so on edge.