I'm really concerned for my friend

[justhelpingafriend]

Hi,

I think my 14-year-old friend is developing depression or some associated mental problem. When she is with her friends she seems normal and happy, but some nights she messages me saying she feels really sad and depressed and hates her body.

At the moment, her dad is in between jobs and her family's finances are shaky, so she feels stressed about that.

She tells me she feels lonely sometimes and that she hates her body and face. Once she told me she wanted to starve herself to become skinny! This girl does a lot of exercise and has a perfectly fit body and she has a very pretty face.

I'm not sure if it is teenage moodiness or her current situation is getting her a bit down, or if there is something really wrong with her.

Please give me some advice!!! I really want to help her!

[malign]

Teenage moodiness, situation, or something really wrong ... Flip a coin. Some might say they're all the same: being a teenager is difficult in itself, her family situation is painful, and no matter what the source, pain feels wrong when you're feeling it ...

Do you know what will help her the most? Having people around who want to help her. You don't need any special skills to be someone's friend, just caring, and we're all capable of that.

It's certainly possible that she could embark on a variety of ill behaviors, but the most you'll probably be able to do is just to be there for her without judging. If you find that she is doing things like manipulating her eating or hurting herself (or seriously considering suicide), you could urge her to seek help (there are lots of people out there who want to help too), or ultimately perhaps, tell someone in authority who can help.

I don't know; it's a fact of life that all decisions are hard. But what will make the most difference is simply the fact that you show her that you care.