New member here. Ready to fight.

[Perseverance]

Hope I can make this as short as possible. Ok. So I'm a 27 year old man. My penis measures 4.75 x 4.75 with a little bit of fat pad. I understand I'm not that bad and I truly feel for myself that ill be able to get over it. Now what got me here. Il try and write this out in a timeline.

Starting when I was younger wasn't so bad. I realized I had a small penis and it didn't bother me THAT much. But the experiences to follow changed that. Few times I've had to deal with comments. Then it was friends with of course large penises having sex with my past or current girlfriends. The things people would say not only in my life but in society was tearing me to shreds. Later on in life when I was about 16 I met a girl who I dated for 4 years. I loved this girl very much but I let my insecurity get the best if me and my relationship. I was fortunate she was a virgin at the time do that put my mind at ease for a while. But soon after the relationship ended I and I kid you not I! Found her on a bangbros site. Ill never forget it. I sprinted down the street and bang on my friends front door. "You are NOT going to believe this shit!" Imagine this. Seeing a girl your ex bang dude with huge dong with ease is soul crushing. Top it off she was in 5 videos. What my past and society has done to me. God damn do I feel like shit. Move on to my next relationship when I was 21. I fucked it up. I let past destroy me. I never got over it. I played the pity card I did all the same crap some of you guys have done. Worry over every little thing sexually. I hated the idea she had bigger men. It infuriated me. I assaulted one of her gay friends because he bought her a vibrator. I was always losing my shit. My anger was a huge problem. I had all that bad bad baggage just floating around in my head waiting for the next thing to bring my crashing back to the ground. Soon enough I began having panic attacks almost every other day for months. Depression was at an all time high. She was my crutch. Even though she loved me and wanted to spend the rest of her life with me she couldn't take me anymore, she fell out of love with me. I don't blame her. I can't believe I let that happen. Here's a girl who accepts me for who I am. We are like two peas in a pod, best friends. I let my PAST bury me. I failed and I didn't have too. I know you can't live in regret but I regret acting the way i did. Breaks my heart to know what I put that girl through. She was a princess. I actually had a chance to get her back. But in the time we were apart I engaged in some pretty crazy sexual adventures with people(groups). I got nothing out of it except cementing how small I am compared to average men and no it was not homosexual. With what I had done when we were together and even more when we were apart I had to throw in the towel. I truly did not believe I was ever going to change. I realize I have held 4 relationships in my life for over 4 years or more. These girls were with me for a reason. But see I have a mental problem which drove them away. Now my current situation. I met a girl during the potential patch up with my ex. I saw this girl as a new opportunity to be the guy I'm supposed to be. We hit it off extremely well. I felt like omg. This is the girl. Ill be able to share and build my life with. She truly is an amazing woman. She makes me want to be a better man. Then boom! Here it comes again. Doubts. All I want to do is for once in my life give my girl the best sex shes ever gotten and believe it for myself. I want to have that feeling I've never had before even though I think I should have. I should have had it with my ex. But I just kept telling myself how worthless and how it's impossible. I'm starting the same shit all over again. My girlfriend told me two nights ago. You are fine I love our sex and I orgasm everything. Yet I don't believe it. Especially after she acknowledged I have a small penis. (God that hurt like a knife in the heart) I'm my own worst enemy. I absolutely refuse to keep fucking up my life and ruining wonderful relationships with caring women. I'm never going to be at peace with the size if my penis. The damage is done and the facts are facts. But I'm not a quitter. I have battles to fight. Depression. Anxiety. OCD to name a few. I have to believe that one day I will triumph. That one day I can leave the past the past. Forgive others and myself and become a better person, friend and lover. I've let the hurt that others have given me in my life and I have handed them off to others. I made my girlfriend cry the other night because of my insecure bullshit. Enough is enough. I'm tired of living my life like this. Ok here is it. I will never have a average or large penis. Yea it sucks. It sucks big time. But if I keep my shit up ill be alone.

Alone with my small thin penis.

Perseverance.

[Jessie]

a lot of echoes with me there my friend.

but you have also shown women can accept your size- thats good for you and many guys here.

[Girlfriend-here]

I saw this girl as a new opportunity to be the guy I'm supposed to be. We hit it off extremely well. I felt like omg. This is the girl. Ill be able to share and build my life with. She truly is an amazing woman. She makes me want to be a better man. Then boom! Here it comes again. Doubts.

Ok go back to this girl because u deserve to be with this one, and who's to say the sex wasn't good?? Im sure she is hurt that it back with ur ex. Does she know? Also at least u can identify its a mental thing, u really gotta trust urself n theses woman. U deserve to be happy, let urself

[Perseverance]

Yea it's definitely hard to trust anyone. I just feel like they could be white lies. No one wants to hurt anyone. I also feel kind of guilty that I'm not providing something to someone most men can give her. There is so much that gets to me and like I said before I'm never going to be happy with myself I'm always going to feel less than normal men. But I need to change my attitude because that's the only thing I have control over. I know these things. I'm having good sex. I've actually had lots of amazing fun sex. My shitty attitude has always been the factor in things going wrong. I've become so obsessive over the size of my penis many times I've thought about seeking out someone who has a big one just to touch it and feel it myself. And I'm not even gay. THATs how far and how bad this has gotten for me. Porn does not help what so ever. I actually asked my girlfreind if we could watch it while we had sex. And we did. I figured I'd face my fear head on. Just the idea of her looking at a big penis terrifies me. In some sick way I needed to know while those types of dicks exist out there that I'm still desirable. I can say one thing that would help me is some sort of praise. I'd like my girlfreind to let me know she loves my penis even though its small. That would make me feel so much better. It sucks because I do it for her. I love telling her how sexy she is. But I just feel like I have this little penis that can't compete. The idea I have to get over is that she has been with bigger guys who have filled her up more than me. Maybe someday things will work itself out I just know I can't be bringing any negativity to the party. Really sucks that this is one of the very few problems that has literally no cure. Something that is so important to men on so many levels. On the other hand women use makeup get surgeries for everything. Fat. Breasts. Lips. Ass. You name it. I think it's very hard for women to understand how strong you have to be to fight something like this. I give alot of guys on here a lot of credit for at least trying. I can see how easy it would be to just chill out and not even bother. Hopefully i can try and somehow build some confidence. Start with things outside sex and work towards sex. And get if somehow I can build it in the bedroom than great.

The fight us on until my final breath.

Perseverance

[malign]

"I also feel kind of guilty that I'm not providing something to someone most men can give her."

You're also the only one who can provide her with something she apparently wants more than she wants other guys: yourself.

Sure, if a penis is all that counts in life, you're in trouble. I just don't see it that way, and perhaps some women agree with me.

{That last part was sarcasm: I think most women agree with me. Why? Because every guy has a penis, but not every guy is you. So if a woman is with you at all, it's probably not because you're the only penis on earth, but because you're the only you on earth.}

[Bundy]

I found your post very inspiring Perserverance, It's really admiring that you are still hopeful after a few (metaphorical) kicks to the crotch. There is something in your first post that interested me very much, you mentioned you were involved in group sex? To be honest, it's something I always wanted to do, but never did because I'm convinced it's not really that smart to pursue a wild lifestyle with unconventional types of sex as a really small guy, but I'm still curious as to how exactly that worked out for you, if it's not to painful for you to retell that story. Was it an okay experience, was it humiliating, or was it passable for everyone else, except for you (because of the aforementioned issue here)?

[Perseverance]

Ill gladly tell the story. Listen when it comes to myself I'm comfortable being naked around my friends since I don't have to please them. I generally don't care they know my penis is small. I've gone streaking with some of them. It's not them in worried about. It's strictly vaginal inter course or when my parter is giving me a hand job. I feel terrible.

So the experience. This is actually one out if three separate occasions. As fun as it was during it really did nothing for me afterwards. I value the emotional connection with one woman more. Basically it was two girls three guys. Both men had larger penises so I was the smallest. By alot. Yet the girls were extremely happy to please and have sex with me. One girl in particular only performed oral on me and she was kinda upset I didn't have sex with her. I was literally spent from finishing with the other one. No one really passed any comments I was free to pretty much do what everyone else was doing. It's just shitty once again confirming how small my penis is compared to other men and knowing my girlfriend has had the feeling of something no doubt larger. The other two times wasn't much different. Bigger guys different girls and I didn't feel like I wasn't free to be myself. Actually the first two times I was kind of intoxicated which helped. The last time I wasn't so I was a lot harder to take that leap and pull off my pants. Just imagine four people watching you get a blowjob when you when you have a problem like this. At least I can say I have a big set of balls. (Pun intended)

[Jessie]

ha- i could never be naked in front of another guy.

no matter how polite he was I would know what he was thinking inside.

equally having 2 girls see me naked- yeesh- never- again I can see them trying not to laugh or worse....

bad enough being naked with just the one girl in private.

[Perseverance]

Yea but these girls were willing to have sex with me within minutes if knowing me. There was no way I wasn't going to try. Plus I had no intentions of satisfying these girls like I do with my girlfriend. That's the problem I have. Not feeling like I satisfy people I care about. That's when the crazy turns on when I start getting very serious with someone.

One thing I know is when I was working out very hard a few years ago I was slim had nice muscles I felt very confident. I went on a cruise and pretty much went on a sexcapade. I couldn't believe it. Even with my lil dick I was at least able to get girls. So I mean I feel like if some of you guys on here have a problem of getting laid try that. Get in awesome shape because it does wonders. Girls flock to confidence and if you're sporting a good body and can hold a decent conversation you'll get laid. I always thought it was hard but it's not. But like I said that's not my problem. As you would know if you've been reading this thread. Hopefully whatever comes of me being here can result in helping some of you guys as well as myself. It's hell feeling worthless. I get hit with penis depression in massive spikes. God damn does it suck.

[Jessie]

yeah- i get 'spikes' too

I found therapy evened those out a bit.

but I still obsess about it.

[Perseverance]

I don't know if I could sit in an office and talk about how much I hate my penis. I used to go to therapy though. I always thought about bringing it up but.. Eh I was too scared. Plus my therapist was so hot so that wasn't happening. I feel like there is more hope on here than anywhere else. Talking to actual people who share this situation. I know that when I don't talk about things especially this my head goes down every logical and illogical path possible. It's horrible. I say stupid shit. I do stupid shit. I emotionally hurt people's feelings. I've physically hurt other guys. It's insane. All over my lil dick.

[Perseverance]

But this situation I'm in now I have a beautiful girl who so far seems happy and satisfied. We kind of both know that this is it. We talk about being with each other we talk about the future. Be both have good jobs. Things are headed in the right direction. But then ya know. I get crazy. Start obsessing over my penis. Doubt myself. Start thinking about all the bigger penises she has prob had. Then I view myself as a joke. Then the sex becomes depressing. What am I a fucking moron? Sometimes I think I am. Bringing all this garbage into a perfectly good relationship. The girl is gorgeous her ass is amazing shes a very sexy girl. I'm gonna let my fucked up head ruin it? Because my dick is short and it's skinny? That's pretty much where I was going until I gave myself a reality check when I looked at my history then signed up for this site.

[Thermonuclear Warrior]

You're not far off from average dude. 1/4-1/2 inches off the average length..and your girth is average. You are not as small as you think. Your confidence around women is above average if anything. The men were bigger during the group sex sessions by chance and those are not a valid basis for comparision. Anyway, I am roughly the same size as you. I'm 5 x 4.75....and I feel more or less normal. I understand that there's a very large chance some arbitrary male is larger than me, but I also understand that there's a very large chance that they are not....so I don't let my size bother me as much as it seems to bother you...and we're basically the same size (I don't think 1/4 inch in length would be even noticeable)

[Perseverance]

The only only reason I had confidence in those situations is because like I said before I don't have to worry about pleasing them. When I get a girlfriend though it changes. I have a good amount of friends and I have seen all of their penises and of course I'm the smallest. That doesn't help. Girls

Cheating on me with bigger guys which I hear comments though the grape vine. The girlfriend who did porn. Which by the way what kind of shitty luck do I have for that to happen. Unreal. I mean good for my friends though they get to see my ex get banged but for me it tormented me. Have you guys had to see a loved one take a few big thick cocks on the Internet? Yea I might not be that far off in size but adding up all the shitty things that have happened to me it's enough to land me on this forum. Here's another thing that mad me feel like garbage recently. I'm about to cum and I tell my girl I want her to jerk me off when I pull out. So she does except she doesn't use her whole hand. She does that "OK" sign with her hand and just uses the index and thumb finger. Like "hey your sick isn't big enough to actually grab ahold of it." Sucks.

[Perseverance]

Dick not sick obviously in that last post. I don't know how to fix posts on my iPhone.

[malign]

Another way to look at it is that she had to be paid to do porn, but she was with you for free.

It's amazing how much things change when your point of view changes.

[Jessie]

well yeah.... but the payment part was due to the cameras being pleasant.

no doubt she has sex with big guys for free too.

he is in pain cos he sees his ex taking massive dongs with ease and with much pleasure- over and over

If I saw any of my 4-5 exes do porn it would be mind bending too- not in a good way

it reminds me of the female poster from last month who mentioned her massive ex who 'drove her crazy' with his dong and who's current partner knew her ex and was upset by that knowledge. same dynamic.

[Perseverance]

Exactly Jessie. And I figure based on how long my GF has been sexually active no doubt shes ran into a few guys that were packing. So the image of a lover actually getting it makes it that more real for me. Also another reason I shy away when I'm changing me pants or getting if of the shower. I look like I have a baby penis when I'm not hard. Not that when I'm hard it's any better. I believe my girlfreind when she says I give her orgasms. But rarely do I notice it. If ever. Yea eating her out. Massaging her back and everything else sexual I can be very good at. But when it comes to filling out her vagina I can't do that. And no doubt in my mind that would result in more powerful orgasms. I feel guilty this is all I can give her.

Another scary time for me was when my current girlfreind and I took a trip to the sex shop. I have never been in a shop with a lover before. So the idea of going to place with dildos and pictures of big dicks everywhere was terrifying. She mentioned we should go look at some fun stuff. Which is fair because there is some cool stuff in there we can mess with. What was I going to do puss out? It wasn't as bad as I though she really just focused on whips cuffs and that sort of stuff.

It's good enough now for her but to find out if she'll be happy with my penis over the long term is going to take time.

I really believe that this is all my problem to get over. It probably would be a bonus if my penis was bigger for her but its not a must. Which goes back to can she tolerate my size over the long term?

[Cece.dedesl]

My ex husband was smaller than you are and he gave me a lot of sexual pleasure during intercourse... Well, until he let his obsession with his penis size ruin everything.

Instead of focusing on whether or not she's had bigger, focus on the fact she has chosen to be with you.

It amazes me that men constantly overlook this simple fact. People can leave a relationship at any time. If someone chooses to stay that should be strong enough validation they want to be there.

In my unfortunately vast experience in these situations, 99% of the time it's not the penis but the insecurities you guys obsess about that causes the relationship to spoil.

[Jessie]

Perseverance- totally understand the guilt thing- thats a real bitch. I actually feel a bit sorry for my exes. I know how horrible sexual frustration feels and i guess I put them through that.

Cece- I know its true for you ( size not mattering) and for for one or two other posters here.

But its not always that simple. People stay together for lots of reasons other than the ones they admit too.

NotDoneYet had a partner who used him for financial security and convenience ( I think) and then dumped him as soon as he'd served his purpose.

All my partners claimed to love me but left me due to my size- and I treated them real well.

And sometimes a relationship has a honeymoon period and then when life settles down, women find it harder to 'overlook' the small dick.

They remember their exes- they go to bars, get tempted- they know any guy they meet is likely to be bigger- well you know the rest of it...

Im simplifying and generalising but its common enough and it makes guys nervous.

I totally see why guys bigger then me lack confidence- they have good reason to be- they have learnt that directly from outspoken women.

And you can't really blame women- isnt honesty supposed to be virtuous?

So guys like me- well confidence will never really be ours unless drunk, stoned or mad.

So if I do meet someone, I wont let on about my inner turmoil.

i will pretend to be secure and simply enjoy as many days as possible while she consents to be around me.

[Cece.dedesl]

There are always exceptions Jessie and sometimes people choose to stay for the wrong reasons but the majority of people out there stay because of love.

[Jessie]

I agree with some but not sure about the majority.

Is it 60% of divorces that fail?

And 70% of women with partners that were small wished they their partners were bigger? (UCLA study)

I wonder why they are staying? cos its scary being alone? cos of convenience? kids?

Im not even sure they bad reasons- but they are not about sexual love/lust.

And id like to be able to induce lust and 'full' satisfaction for just one day- and I hate being excluded from that.

But i still hope to be able to find a form of love- as I said months ago- I need to ( and have done to some extent) to alter parameters in the mind.

[Cece.dedesl]

Surveys are subjective. As I said in a previous post, people rarely want to accept responsibilities for their own failures in a relationship. It's easy to blame un changeable factors or blame the other person.

Yes, the divorce rate is very high but even you know 60% of marriages aren't ending because of penis size!

Sex problems usually pop up when there are intimacy problems or other underlying issues in a committed relationship.

[Jessie]

But it can happen the other way around. My size destroyed otherwise good relationships.

And 1000s , literally 1000s of women have similar stories

Don't forget I'm not just a bit small, I'm way lower than normal

I'm not arguing with your general point. I do actually think I have been a bit unlucky with my women in my life.

I still have hope ...

[Cece.dedesl]

You forget you're not small compared to my ex. There will always be exceptions but in general it takes it takes a lot more than penis size to ruin a relationship.