Why do some people suffer with mental illnesses & others don't?

[paula]

Seen as ci55555 or whatever his name is? Is not replying, may as well start a new post?

Why is it that some people more than others, have bad doubts of Depression! For instance: Myself!

I look around me & think to myself, "I wonder whether she/he acts like I do from time to time? Meaning: I have my day's where I can cope and I have day's where I can't cope?"

Why have I got a chemical imbalance, and someone else hasn't? Why is it only me that suffers from this in my family, and no one else does? Not even going back in generation's! I mean, I was brought up the same as anyone else in the family. I have the same mother & father has my brothers & sisters. The same genes. The only thing that is different is, I am rhesus negative blood type and the only other member of my family with this blood type was my grandfather (father to my mother). Even my grandfathers own children didn't have this blood type. Just me! I know it can skip a generation, but mental health issues, no one even checking back in generations, has ever suffered with apart from me!

I have two grown up boys and none of them suffer with mental health?

I cannot understand why, if people suffer this illness, then why is it not hereditory? And why is it that only certain people suffer this illness? Is it that everyone has got the same chemicles in their brain (apart from people who are born with brain damage or have suffered brain damage due to no fault of their own) and its just a matter of something triggering it, say like depression, losing a job, death etc?

I just can't get my head around the fact that some people suffer these mental illnesses and others don't? Even when they belong to the same family (direct members)?

I just don't understand how it can affect some of us and not others? I know people who have had a lot of bad luck in their life, yet they haven't even suffered any severe depression?

I wonder whether this chemical imbalance is in your brain when you are concieved. A foetas say?

Please excuse the spelling as I can't seem to find a spell check? Sure this site has had one at some point?

So if anyone can explain to me why this is, then maybe I'll be able to understand the process of life a bit more?

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi Paula,

First, everyone is permitted to speak on their issues.

The only part of your question that concerns me is that you seem to believe that its only you. You are not alone, not at all. And, its not only emotional problems. I know a very fine woman who suffers from epilepsy that is so bad that even with medication she suffers siezures. Why her? I grew up in the same home as my brother with the same family, etc. Why was he "the saint" and as Mr. Brilliant and why was I viewed as the "bad guy" and someone who could not learn? Yeah, would you believe it? My family thought I was dumb!!!

I have no answers to these questions but, I do know this: If any of us believe we are the "only one" who suffers then we run the risk of self pity and that makes things worse.

Paula, you should feel proud of yourself that your children are doing well.

What do others think?

Allan:)

[WinterSky]

Hi Paula!! Glad to see you back. I know how frustrating it is to feel like you're the only one. But like Dr. Schwartz said, you are not alone! The docs can chime in here, but IMHO it seems that so many more people are being diagnosed, that perhaps everybody has a chemical imbalance! Well I don't really believe that entirely, but I find it is partly true.

I was raised by a depressed mother. And my father could really ruin the mood in family gatherings. So I think that perhaps I was conditioned to be depressed. But I think I was born manic and then my dad depressed me!

Seriously, I have many questions and no real answers. I am just a consumer of mental health services just like you. I'm suffering right along with you.

(But I must admit, I think the new meds are causing me to level out a bit. I do hope that is true in the long haul.)

*hugs*

EDIT: I do think that most people are not perfectly balanced, and I feel that anyone can benefit from getting their head examined. Look at society. Look at other co-workers. There are difficult people in all walks of life, which makes their behaviors rather unhealthy, not just for themselves but for others around them as well.

Edited December 11, 2008 by WinterSky

[paula]

Allan

I think you have misinterpreted my post or I have mislead you to thinking what I am meaning in my post?

What I am trying to say/ask is why do some people suffer more/deeper with depression than others? When we are all supposed to be the same of a kind?

I wasn't under any circumstances, reflecting any self pity for my self! This has got nothing to do with me alone! It's about everyone in general!

[paula]

Hi Wintersky

Thank you for the welcome.

I did not mean what Allan has said about wanting self pity, because thats the last thing that I want! Also, I wasn't going on about me alone, I was going on about people like us who suffer from mental health & why doesn't everyone suffer the same as were all human beings!

That has really annoyed me that has. I thought Allan was a friend Grrrrrr!

[WinterSky]

I was going on about people like us who suffer from mental health & why doesn't everyone suffer the same as were all human beings!

{{Paula}} I don't think that you pity yourself. I understood your post. I just have my own viewpoint and really don't have the answers.

I said in part,

"It seems that so many more people are being diagnosed, that perhaps everybody has a chemical imbalance! Well I don't really believe that entirely, but I find it is partly true."

"EDIT: I do think that most people are not perfectly balanced, and I feel that anyone can benefit from getting their head examined. Look at society. Look at other co-workers. There are difficult people in all walks of life, which makes their behaviors rather unhealthy, not just for themselves but for others around them as well."

[paula]

{{Paula}} I don't think that you pity yourself. I understood your post. I just have my own viewpoint and really don't have the answers.

I said in part,

"It seems that so many more people are being diagnosed, that perhaps everybody has a chemical imbalance! Well I don't really believe that entirely, but I find it is partly true.

"

This is not aimed at you Wintersky, but thankyou for knowing where I'm coming from! Yes you are on the right track! What I'm getting at is why are some people different to others and not meaning just me in general?

[kaudio]

Hi Paula, I am not sure how to answer your question as there could be many factors that may contribute to why one's mental health differs from another. But, I am not sure that Allan is saying that you are looking for pity. His post does note that if you believe you are the only one who suffers any particular problem then you run the risk of self-pity and all of the associated problems that accompany that.

I find this to be true as Winter pointed out that there are many people who suffer from various forms of depression resulting from any number of issues that they may be experiencing. Yet, when these same people take on the belief that their problem is somehow unique, that no one else can understand what they are experiencing, and that no one else can help them, they are less able to be convinced of the value in the help they receive from others. Anyone can demonstrate this sort of reasoning. For example, some post-secondary students exert a great deal of effort to produce papers, but are disappointed when they do not receive the grade they want. Then, they drop the course or the area of study because they “just don't have it in them” to succeed. The problem with this thinking is that there is very little difference from one student to the next beyond the thought processes that each uses to focus themselves. Political Science, Psychology, Sociology, Anthropology, or any other discipline do not demand some sort of special, unique criteria within the student. With the introduction of a simple thought process like Getting Things Done and the writing process - or whatever variations of these processes that exist out there under different names - these conscientious, hard working students can easily get the grades they want. However, without someone who can recognize the dead-end reasoning of self-pity, and have the respect of such students to convince them to stop, these students attribute their lower grades to something vague, like they do not have the spirit of the discipline, or they are geared or wired differently. This kind of thinking is like a terrible weed that is incredibly difficult to uproot.

This is what I think Allan was referring to with the term “self-pity”.

Edited December 12, 2008 by kaudio

[paula]

Hi Kaudio

Well with what you are saying has gone right over my head! I don't understand a word of what you are explaining? Not you kaudio, its me! I haven't got the intelligence to break that down, to understand it? I need it as simple as?

I'm sorry I asked the question now!

This thread could do with deleting and a new one starting, because I'm not understandind the answers to the question that people are giving me? So rather than humiliate myself more than I already have, I'd rather just forget it if you don't mind!

[WinterSky]

Hi Kaudio

This thread could do with deleting and a new one starting, because I'm not understandind the answers to the question that people are giving me? So rather than humiliate myself more than I already have, I'd rather just forget it if you don't mind!

Paula, don't give up on this! You are a smart lady! Please allow Kaudio to clarify for you. Personally, when I read his post, my thoughts went to a music theory professor who gave D's and F's to everyone in the class (I made A's in this subject previously). I did drop that class! My major was guitar performance, not music theory; and a huge chunk of my time was going towards pleasing her. She worked for me! I was the one paying for the instruction.

She used to cry in class and pick her nose. Her name was Dr. Killem. (Kill'em, get it?)

[paula]

Hi Wintersky

I'm just getting the impression that I'm being ridiculed and made fun of, and I would rather piss it off to be honest!

Don't know whether it's me or the way that I've been treated lately in the hospital? I feel like I'm being made a fool off! Like because of what has just happened and my stay in the hospital, that, I don't know, like people are thinking that I should get the red carpet treatment because of past events and that is not what I want!

I just want to be a part of this community and I feel that I'm not being accepted by some people?

Rather than feel pissed off at everytime I visit this site, I would rather just get on with my life and not bother at all!

[Guest ASchwartz]

Paula,

I have looked through this forum and I do not have the impression that anyone is ridiculing you. It is true that just coming from the hospital can make anyone feel kind of "raw."

We are with you and I want you to realize that.

Allan

[paula]

I will forget about the question that I asked, because none of you knew exactly what I meant? Wintersky was near

[WinterSky]

I will forget about the question that I asked, because none of you knew exactly what I meant? Wintersky was near

I think I understand what you are saying but it is beyond my understanding to provide any answers. I was going to go through your first post once again as I am unclear about a few things. But if you wish to halt discussions in this thread, I will respect your wishes.

{{{Paula}}}

[kaudio]

Please do not feel sorry for asking questions and sharing your thoughts, Paula. I can be long-winded at times. But, I want to say that I do welcome your posts and it is not my intention - or that of the other members - to make a fool of you.

[paula]

Hi Kaudio

I really don't know an easier way to ask this question?

What I am asking is: Why does some of us suffer from mental illnesses & others don't? & why is it not an heredatory thing? I suppose what I am asking is: Cancer could be hereditory, Dyslexic is hereditory? breast cancer is hereditory? If your parents or grandparents have suffered from some form of illness, then it's more than likely that their children or if it misses a generation, then your grandparents children will too suffer the same form of illness, unless they have found a cure for it?

EG- If there are twins in the family, then there's a possibillity that the twins children could give birth to twins, like there is in my family! My grandparents (mothers side) had twin girls, and my dad & mum had twins & the twins had twins also my dad sister had twins. so my dad & his sister (there was only the two of them) they both had twins! am I making sense! Even though none of them was twins their selves, but it ran in both family's.

This is what I am trying to get at with mental illnesses. there's no one in my family that suffer with mental illness, so I would like to know why? When my brothers and sisters have the same genes as me?

[xenophon]

There does not appear to be a good answer to your question.

I think that heredity may have something to do with it. I am a layman, so I am guessing.

[paula]

Hi Xenophon

There does not appear to be a good answer to your question.
I think that heredity [b]may have something to do with it.

I know you state that you are only guessing, but if hereditary may/has got anything to do with it, then why does no-one else in my family suffer from Depression?

I am just curious as to why some people suffer bad doubts of depression, more than others, and why does Depression carry on troubling some of us, like it does? EG- Re-occuring?

[JustTrying]

I think some of it is hereditary... but I also believe that life .. wether it be child hood.. or war can bring it on. A way of coping.... also NOT A DOCTOR just MHO.....

Back a few months ago some vets from Iraq were posting on here.... I talked to a friend about it and we both wondered if they had never seen what they saw, been through what they had .. would they have been doing/ feeling what they were??? Or did they have problems before?

JT

MY STUFF started in my childhood... I remember at the age of 12 having diffrent thoughts and feelings. I did not know what it was then.

( I read that 4 times before posting and deleted a part of it because I do not want anyone to think I am trying to bring up things they may not want to talk about)

[Kay_J]

---------------------

Edited March 19, 2009 by Kay_J

[paula]

Hi All

What happens just happens I know, but it still kind of makes me wonder what has had to make me play the only and unmistakable villain in my family. (I'm not self-pitying but simply stating the fact.) Role behaviour thing maybe???

Now were getting some where! Kay do you understand where I'm coming from? I too, don't want self pity and am also stating the facts! This is what I was trying to explain before Allan came out with his quote about running the risk of self pity!

I have no answers to these questions but, I do know this: If any of us believe we are the "only one" who suffers then we run the risk of self pity and that makes things worse.

All I'm trying to say is, (I feel like a record got stuck) why only some of us suffer with depression and not all of us? Or, why not all suffer from depression, instead of just some of us? Am I making sense! I know it's doing my head right in! Wish I never said anything now, but curiosity got the better of me!

[malign]

Paula,

Well, I think the quick answer is easy: human beings are all different from one another. Some of us are short, some tall, some blue-eyed, and some brown-.

There may be some advantage, in some situation, to each possible variation.

For instance, as a short person, I figure that's a good example. Short people might require less food, fit into smaller spaces to hide, and so on. But they also can't see over tall people at football games. Some advantages, some disadvantages.

On the other hand, eye color is probably simply random; no particular advantage either way. It just varies because it doesn't hurt anyone for it to vary.

So why do some of us vary in our brain chemistry? There may be some way in which it's advantageous. One thing I read maintained that in certain circumstances, such as bad weather, it made sense to feel depressed, because that would limit your activities, which would be beneficial. Now, I don't necessarily believe that, so please don't hurt me. :-)

It seems to me instead that, under survival conditions, most people don't get depressed, at least not enough to affect their survival. And if they did, they'd probably be dead, so no problem. :-) So I think it's like eye color: something that doesn't affect survival, but people still differ. Too bad it's a difference that causes pain.

Natural selection is not something that cares much how we feel about it.

And that's just my opinion, you understand.

[paula]

Cheers for that malign

I understand what your saying, but it doesn't make it any clearer? Never mind, you tried your best, :confused:

Thank you

[xenophon]

real life events can bring on depression.

And hereditary pre disposition does not mean causes depression.

It seems that enough is not known about how it works in detail -- the devil is in the detail -- but, it seems a combination of "nature and nurture" .

That is my guess and I am sticking to it!!

best I can do now.

[Dazed]

Hi Paula, I know that this is quite a late reply and you may already know what I'm about to tell you but here's my bet on the issue:

There is no one 'sure shot' cause of mental illness and let's just take depression for an example. I remember the report I submitted to my professor back in college and I referred to mayoclinic for answers (Psych resources are not so abundant in my country).

Here are some of the major 'risk factors' that were listed:

- Having other biological relatives with depression

- Having family members who have taken their own life

- Stressful life events, such as the death of a loved one

- Having a depressed mood as a youngster

- Illness, such as cancer, heart disease, Alzheimer's or HIV/AIDS

- Long-term use of certain medications, such as some drugs used to control high blood pressure, sleeping pills or, occasionally, birth control pills

- Certain personality traits, such as having low self-esteem and being overly dependent, self-critical or pessimistic

- Alcohol, nicotine and drug abuse

- Having recently given birth

- Being in a lower socioeconomic group

The prognosis of mental disorders also largely depend on the support group available to the client (alcoholics anonymous, weight watchers association) as well as his cultural acceptance of the problem. In the United States, I heard that prognosis is good because the people understands the condition and accepts the patient as well as a number of support groups available... there are some employers who willingly give patients under rehabilitation a chance to be productive and live normal lives. Having a sense of accomplishment (job) addresses or aids on self-esteem issues which is largely associated with depression.

I came from a family with a history of attempted and successful suicide and that places me in the high risk group (from father's side) but my mom's side are made up of extroverts who can take a serious blow from life and be unaffected. I'm not saying that I'm balanced and in fact, I had serious suicidal ideations myself but no attempts and my mom provided for a very good support person when she discovered how 'down' I was.

Paula please do not be offended if I will share my sister's story. She was living a perfectly healthy childhood until she was infected with Meningitis that progressed to Encephalitis. She recovered but she suffers from bouts of Seizure disorder as a permanent complication of the disease and this is not well accepted in my country. For some, it is a curse because of a sin from the parents while others believe that supernatural forces are at play. They would gather up and watch her as she has an attack and talk about it as if its some phenomenon or the devil possessing her (seriously). She was shunned by most people and she had very few friends and she was really depressed but we as her family had to understand what she was going through. We accepted her, and respected her limitations instead of denying it; and despite the odds, she was able to survive college and now holds a position in a real estate company. It was difficult for her to find a company to work for because the HR officers say she could not be taken in because of her condition but somehow, our prayers were answered. She still has SD bouts but she's no longer ashamed of it and the people from her company had accepted her and now knows how what to do when she has attacks.

I hope I was able to shed some light on your question Pau.

God bless!

PS: Those who have mental illness, they were the ones who had the guts to admit that there is something wrong and they can no longer handle it while for some (not all the rest), they'd rather live (or forced to live) in denial of the problem.

Edited January 11, 2009 by Dazed