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"In far the most cases penis size is not an issue but only becomes one for men with small penis syndrome(link is external). In fact, the average erect penis is a lot smaller than hitherto thought.

For years medical books reported that the average erect penis was 5.88 inches long, leading a lot of men to worry about their size. This figure, however, was the result of self-measurement, which is notoriously unreliable.

Research based on actual measurement(link is external) suggests that the average erect penis is 5.2 inches long. That's just a bit longer than 13 cm—a lot shorter than most people's hands, measured from the wrist to the end of the middle finger.

Despite the good news in the size department, women do occasionally complain about a small penis. Laura recently expressed(link is external) her worries as follows:

I am head over heels for my husband, we have an amazing relationship. But from the beginning when we first started
, I noticed immediately that we didn’t really click when it came to matters of the sack. I think it might have something to do with the fact that the guy I was with before him was a lot… eh…. bigger.

Laura may well be misjudging the size of her husband's penis, given her recent sexual encounter. But not all men are built the same. So it is, of course, possible that her issue is a real one.

The issue of size, when it occurs, is a difficult one to deal with. Men can’t (easily(link is external)) change how nature created them. Penis extension devices, such as Andropenis, and penis extension surgery carry with them significant inconvenience and risk. So, if size is an issue, the trick is to find ways to make up for the lack in volume without medical intervention. In most cases(link is external) choice of sexual position can make up for a lack in size.

The main problem with a small penis is that you can’t get deep penetration as easily. In that case, the solution may be positions that allow for deeper entrance, for instance:

  • The missionary position but with a large pillow under the woman's bottom.
  • Doggy style with the woman's legs together.
  • The woman lying face down with her legs together and the man entering her from behind with his knees outside the woman's legs.

Or you can experiment with anal sex. The anus is a lot tighter than the vagina. Small is likely an advantage when it comes to backdoor entrance.

Finally, it should be mentioned that not all women are turned on by a large penis. Some are terrified by the thought of a very long member. And in terms of satisfaction, the girth or thickness of a penis matters a lot more than length. For many women, feeling "full" is much more important than being fully penetrated, especially because the most anterior parts of the vagina have nerve endings that are lacking in the back."

Berit "Brit" Brogaard is the author of On Romantic Love

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Does Penis Size Really Matter?


By ReneeJRoss on May 01, 2013

Featured Member Post

It is the age old question. Does size matter? When we hear it, most of us immediately think about penis size. Many men are so hung up on penis size that even in early dating stages will provide commentary on their member. I know women are often asked this questions and answers range from detailed and specific about width and length “I like ‘em long and pencil thin” or “big and thick” to the stand-by response “It’s not the size of the ship, its the motion of the ocean.” A recent study in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Science "Penis size interacts with body shape and height to influence male attractiveness" and numerous articles and other media proclaim that “size does matter!”

However, there is more to the story than meets the eye. The purpose of this study was to determine if penis size evolved over time based on women’s preferences. Prior to the development of clothing, basically the motto “what you see is what you get” applied. In modern times the size of a man’s penis (in most cases) is not easily detectable beneath clothing. It is theorized that over time the penis evolved based on women’s “natural selection.” The purpose of the study was to try to determine if this hypothesis was true.

For the purpose of the study, 105 Australian women viewed 53 digitally created images of man with varying heights and penis sizes and judged them on sexual attractiveness. It seems that most of the readers of the study got stuck at this point “penis size interacts with body shape and height to determine male sexual attractiveness.” Based on the headlines you’d think this was the final word on the subject in the study. However, the study goes on to say “the marginal increase in attractiveness eventually declined with greater penis size (i.e., quadratic selection). Penis size had a stronger effect on attractiveness in taller men than in shorter men. There was a similar increase in the positive effect of penis size on attractiveness with a more masculine body shape (i.e., greater shoulder-to-hip ratio). Surprisingly, larger penis size and greater height had almost equivalent positive effects on male attractiveness.”

It seems to me, that based on the study, a larger penis really has diminishing returns over the long run. However, when a larger penis is attached to a larger man, the physical attraction is positively impacted. I don’t know about you but that makes sense to me. Although I know there is no study out there that supports -the bigger the man the bigger the penis- I think many of us make an assumption that a 6’4 guy is not going to having a 2 incher...but stranger things have been known to happen!

At the end of the day, I don’t believe that study truly answered the question. I still maintain that size matters depending on the person you are talking to. Personally, I’d prefer girth over length any day but truly believe that men with smaller “members” tend to work harder to please a woman than men who stand on having a “big d***k” alone. So, for me, it is not the size of the ship but the motion of the ocean. As long as pleasure is involved, I’m a happy camper no matter what the size!





OneQuarterMama May 7, 2013

Since I usually don't see the penis before I get to know the man, I take what I get, lol! But it's a whole package deal for me - I've dumped guys with perfectly wonderful dicks because they were boring, and I've been in long term relationships with great guys with a small dick. In the end, I need to be stimulated with my mind as well as my body, so brains count for a whole lot. If given a choice to create the "perfect" man though, he would be tall, smart and have a fairly large uncircumsized penis.

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Just Jane May 7, 2013

Average or bigger is great. No need for king kong dong. But I was once with a man who had a 2" penis when erect, and I think I'm being generous when I say it was 2". It was normal girth, but incredibly short. To be graphic, ahem, it really didn't even "go in" because, let's face it, your bodies aren't glued together in bed. There's that natural space between you, that ebb and flow, give and take. I felt bad for the guy. And yeah, I dumped him the next day.

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KristenTsetsi May 3, 2013

I think when men hear "size matters," they understand it to mean, "Only ridiculously huge penises need apply." What I have always understood it to mean is, "The size that fits me best is the one I'll like the best."

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PatCole May 3, 2013

@ReneeJRoss Maybe you should conduct a survey of women to ask them the penis lengths they've experienced and what level of satisfaction it's given them. That way, men can better understand where they "fit in". LOL

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AlexandreaMerrell May 3, 2013

Many many years ago, I was dating a guy who was handsome, fun, interesting, and seemed to have it all. I had come out of a bad relationship and so wanted to take it slow. We dated for several months before we actually got to it..... much to my shock, he was tiny....not just small, but well MAYBE 2 inched erect and thin as well.

He had never mentioned if before, but after, her talked about it all the time, how other girls had rejected him for his size, how he knew that he was too small, etc etc etc.

At the end of the day, size does matter. As a woman, I have the right to have an enjoyable sex life too. But as much as his size mattered physically to me, size mattered so much to him that his size hang-ups made a relationship impossible.



TrishSammerJohnston May 3, 2013

I'm gonna say size is not an issue ... until it's an issue. When you're with someone who is just too small, you do realize that the motion of the ocean doesn't matter a whole lot if you're not sure that anyone launched the ship. ;-)


May 4, 2013

Unfortunately, this is absolutely true. I hate to seem shallow but I have been with someone who was so small he thought he had launched but was still in port. I have to say, no matter how much I enjoy a man's company we need to be able to connect for me to move forward in the relationship.
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interesting article from an asian man- (I'm still thinking of moving abroad- but maybe I shouldnt bother)

A mock commercial heard recently on a popular, LA morning-drive radio program..."Men, when you go to sleep at night, ask yourself this question, 'Is my penis safe?' Statistics show that if you sleep in the same room with a female, it may not be. Well, put those fears and anxieties behind you. Because from the makers of the 'Crypt Lock' comes the 'Cock Lock.' The Cock Lock secures your manhood with a metal sheath that can withstand up to 2000 pounds of lateral, shear force. Its ram skin interior provides comfort and wear-ability. Best of all, one size fits all, except for Asians. Just slip it on, and she won't be able to pull it off...saw it off...or burn it off. With Cock Lock, your 'wee-wee' won't go bye-bye." (Female voice: "I hate you Cock Lock!")

Poor, poor Asian males. We sure are taking a beating these days, aren't we? Just when we thought all was well after the release of Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story, a film that actually held Mr. Asian Male in a positive light, out came The Joy Luck Club, re-igniting the current trend in belittling him. If it's not our height, it's our lack of might. We aren't handsome enough, loud enough, considerate enough, paternal enough, aggressive enough, masculine enough, horny enough. Well, maybe not that last one.

So what about this Asian penis thing anyway? Doesn't the world know that we have enough to worry about other than the size of our "wee-wees?" It's bad enough that people think we're overcompensating for our inadequacies by setting outrageous goals in education and profession.

If you didn't quite understand the allusion to the myth of the Asian penis in the mock commercial, then let me clarify it for you. According to the myth, Asian men have smaller penises. Smaller than what? Or, who? Well, that all depends on what standard of measurement you use.

Back in college, I took a class called "Sexual Psychology 230," otherwise known as "Dirty 230." My professor said the average penis size is 5-1/2 inches, when erect. When flaccid or limp, the average size is about 2-1/2 inches.

I decided to do a little (no pun intended) research on the penis. While compiling my data, a woman asked why men feel it so important to worry about the size of their penis. The average male chauvinist pig probably would have written her question off as rhetorical and moved on. I mean, come on! Isn't everyone concerned about the penis? Doesn't the world revolve around the male's sexual anatomy?

Vanity 6, the musical group inspired and created by Prince (or whatever his name is now), made it very clear in the song, "Nasty Girls": "I need seven inches or more."

Through my research, I found one Asian male, a Japanese American, late 20's, who said he has a 7-inch penis. He even offered to show it to me, to which I immediately declined. He boasted that he gained instant notoriety after dating someone in the Los Angeles Asian American community. "Girls would point at me," he said. "It was a pretty big ego boost!"

A Vietnamese American male, early 20's, admitted he was "below" the average of 6 inches. Asked if he was ever concerned about the length of his penis, he simply answered, "No."

A Japanese American female, early 20's, said she has been with two Asian men: a half Filipino, half Chinese in his mid-20's, and a Japanese in his mid-20's. With the 6-inch rule in mind, she said, "Okay, let me think about this. I have to think how long six inches is. Well, I guess they were average. Yeah, they were about average." I assumed that the women's accounts of penis size to be more reliable than the men's.

However, while conducting my research, a homosexual Caucasian man - we'll call him Brian - in his late 30's, volunteered some information. "I would say that from a purely statistical point of view, [the myth of the Asian penis being smaller] is basically true," he said. "However, the smallest I've experienced was on a Caucasian." Brian said that he has dated about 40 Asian men and about 15 to 20 Caucasian men. He added that he prefers Asian men to men of any other ethnicity. "I think that what I've found among Asian men is the absence of really `big ones,'" he said. "But I think if you were to put White men and Asian men on two separate bell curves, there would be a lot of overlap."

Yet, Donna thought the subject of this article was interesting since most of her boyfriends have been Asian. She explained that she prefers Asian men "because they're small." Donna, who stands about 5'1", thinks "body size" has something to do with penis size. "Asian men are not big," she said, referring to their penises. "I guess that's always why I liked Asian men. I strongly believe that that's because of their bodies. Their bodies are not big." I told her the average size for all males is about 6 inches. She replied, "Yeah. They (Asian men) are average."

Donna's friend, a Chinese American female, early 20's, said she currently dates African American men. She made it clear that it is "the whole physical package" of African American men that appeals to her, not their penis size. She said she has dated one Asian male whose penis was "about 6-1/2 inches, but it was big in circumference." Asked if she was familiar with the different ethnic-specific stereotypes, she replied, "Not all Asian men are going to have smaller penises in the same way that not all Black men have huge penises. There are exceptions to every stereotype. Just because I'm Asian doesn't mean I'm going to be passive."

A Chinese American female - let's call her Marilyn - in her mid-20's explained that she hadn't been with a lot of men, but that she had "been very lucky." "Every single guy has been at least 6 inches," Marilyn said. "They were mostly Chinese men. One was 8 inches, another was 7 inches. I guess I've been pretty lucky."

A Korean American male, mid-20's, recalled a conversation with his Caucasian girlfriend. He said they had just finished making love when she brought up the subject of penis size. "She said she had heard about the size myth, and initially she was kind of concerned," he said. "It was something that was in the back of her mind, before we ever made love.

But after making love, she found out it wasn't a problem, that [the myth] wasn't true." He said he was always a little uncomfortable with the subject of penis size because all of his friends who were White had joked about how little Asian men's penises must be. After a while, he began to believe in the myth himself. "It plays on your psyche," he said. "My friends used to joke and poke fun at me and say, `You know how Asian men are.'"

One of the females I interviewed was curious as to what the consensus was on Asian penis size. I told her that the results were about average. Some bigger, some smaller, mostly average though. She was surprised to hear "some bigger." I was talking to her on the phone, but I could just imagine her eyes growing wider with amazement. She was even surprised to hear that Asian men were about average, having heard the myth of the small Asian penis as well.

I have to say that this story was a difficult one to keep objective, being an Asian male myself. My education as a journalist never quite prepared me for a subject like the "myth of the Asian penis." I suppose that if I had searched long and hard, I may have actually come up with more men who were smaller than average.

There is a trick to being objective: don't look for certain results. If a non-Asian female or male were to attempt this story, the results may have been different. People, in general, tend to "find" the results that they expect. It's the self-fulfilling prophecy at work.

I am an Asian male. I never expected to find results that were smaller than average. However, I never expected to find results that were bigger than average, either. I just found what I found: Asian penises are about average in length when erect, with the possible "absence of really big ones."

My favorite interviewee, Marilyn, made an interesting point about men's penis size, but on an individual basis. She said, "There is an erection, and then, there is an erection!" Well put, Marilyn.

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The one thing that strikes me when reading these posts and other things on you tube, etc, is just how easy breezy it is for women to have all the sex partners they want. They can be choosy and still get all they want! All I am saying is that when women look at life I hope they factor in the positives (like the unlimited sex buffet) and not just the negatives.

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While I certainly don't speak for Jessie, I have been reading his posts and chatting w him for some years and consider him a forum friend. From what I can tell this issue of penis size and how it effects relations w the opposite sex has become paramount to Jessie. Early on he was told (in so many words) that it is all in his head, a perception issue and that most women could care a less. Since then he has invested considerable time and energy to proving his critics wrong, asserting volumes of evidence pointing to the importance sexually active women assign to penis size.

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"it does matter"

both girls preference "was above average but not massive"

"a girl doesnt want a small dick in her mouth"

The thing about this video is that they are clumsily trying to be helpful and cool

"use a cock sheath"

Great…imagine if they guy asked her to wear an insertable tighter vagina? or false boobs?

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The clip is 21 mins long.

I have pasted quite a view vids here over the years but I think this one stands alone as the one that explains EXACTLY how toxic being small is.

It has intreractions between men and women and shows some of the sublties of the issue and how women shift and change their views, try and be kind, but eventually revert to the inevitable rejection of small men.

The women are sensitive and articulate, as are the men to an extent.

"I need 7 and up"

"where is the rest of it"

"but sex is important"

"I hate to admits size is important but it makes me sound shallow"

"he was a lovely guy with a great heart and but he was so small, I had to dodge him"

"4 inches? NOOO!"

If anyone wants to understand the conversations I have heard all my adult life from women, then this video does a pretty good job- franky it was almost as I had scripted it from personal recollection.

"would you date a handsome man with a perfect heart and body with a 4.5 inch dick? Both:NO!"

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"it does matter"

both girls preference "was above average but not massive"

"a girl doesnt want a small dick in her mouth"

The thing about this video is that they are clumsily trying to be helpful and cool

"use a cock sheath"

Great…imagine if they guy asked her to wear an insertable tighter vagina? or false boobs?

Pretty dumb if you ask me. Stupid video.

Yesterday I saw a program about vaginismus. Same story, different gender. Try finding a girl who's got that as a condition.

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