Good times / Bad times

[Victimorthecrime]

I am 52 years old and I kind of realize that there are always going to be "problems" of one sort or the other. There will always be a person or two that are difficult there will always be a bill or a repair that is past due, always some nagging physical issue even if it is just fatigue.

The question I guess I am posing is how does a person not allow troubles to overwhelm the good times? I hate it when I am having fun and an intrusive that occurs like "pay that tax bill", schedule the car inspection, make sure you are ready for work" etc.

[IrmaJean]

I try to give power to the positive. I don't always succeed at this, but sometimes even just the effort of doing it takes some energy away from the negative stuff. I think it helps to find a balance that works for you and the methods of finding that are likely different for each individual.

Wishing you well, VBN1C.

[malign]

I think the key word here is "overwhelm". Intrusive thoughts about something important you need to remember would be appropriate, about whether "you left the iron on when you left on vacation" (things you can't go back and fix) are recognizably useless.

The trick is deciding, balancing. And that's not an easy trick; most people don't learn it without a lot of experience, many people including myself still struggle with it.

I find that forgiveness helps; mostly forgiving myself, sometimes others. In meditation, they suggest recognizing a thought as a thought rather than something that requires action, and going right back to meditating, or whatever else you were doing. That requires letting go of the guilt, or whatever other emotion the thought evoked, which is what I'm still working on.

[Victimorthecrime]

Also I think society wants us to think "well if I have all these problems I can't be happy" so that we'll work and spend money chasing a solution. Sometimes, like today, I just say "screw it I am going be to happy no matter what".