Endlessnight

@LaLa Or did this one work? I'm confused.

@Lala Thank you Lala. Did it work?

I want to know how to reply to someone so they know I've replied, without quoting them. Thanks for your help. M.

Hi Lala. How are you? I'm a lot like you, in that I think of things to say or write after I've finished a conversation. I hope the lady you spoke to, felt better after the conversation you had with her. Holding a conversation with someone might help, but i'm afraid of it too, Lala. Writing about my feelings is one thing, actually talking to someone about it is very scary, for me. I want change, but at the same time it scares me to death. I will think about it though. (By the way, I know you are not pushing me into anything - big hugs )

Hi Lala. Thank you for the information. I finally did get around to doing the tests, and my Vitamin D isn't bad, but the doc said I should continue with the supplements he gave me: 50,000 IU, once every two weeks.

I'm sorry to hear about your daughter. It must be hard for her and for her family. I wish her well.

I'm glad to hear you are volunteering Lala. How do you like it? Do you think it is helping you?

Hi Lala. I still live in SA. with my brother and his family. Did you read that they have allowed women to drive here now? I have seen only a couple of women driving though, since the ban was lifted - June 20th, I think. I know none of the women in my family are going to drive. I'm definitely not - even if I could. I would probably fail the driving test because of my poor eyesight. There are a lot of things going on here that are not good for those of us that are foreigners living here. We have to pay a monthly fee of $80 per person. I just managed to pay my fee a few months ago, and will have to pay again soon. That beside the resident permit fee that we pay which is around $300 every year. That's why I'm so glad I am going back to work. Still, even if I manage to pay the fee this year, I won't be able to next year. They double the amount per person every year. Don't apologise for asking me questions. I'm glad you do.

Hello Beth. It's so nice to see you are still here. How are you? My boss messaged me today and asked me if I wanted to work during the vacation. I feel like new life has been given me! I have a reason to get up and do things. I will probably start in about two weeks, but I will be busy during that time getting everything done that I need to. I have to get tests done for my health, which I've been delaying. I have high cholesterol, vitamin D deficiency (something that almost all women here have because we don't go out enough, and when we do we are covered head to toe in black abayas), I also have hypothyrodism. So anyway I will do the tests for those things and then take them to the doctor. I already know my cholesterol is going to be very high because I have been eating anything and everything. I also have GERD and I still eat badly. It's like I'm trying to kill myself by not taking care of my health, but then I do the tests and go to the doc - I don't know why I bother, to be honest. Still, I have a purpose now, sort of.

I really need to do physical activities Lala, I'm in my brain too much. There aren't any that I can do here though. I can't go walking with the heat the way it is. I wish I could go walking in some cool green woods. I have tried watching meditation videos, but I always give up on them after a few times. How are you doing?

I know what you mean. It is hard to be happy when you have so much to worry about. I wish I had an answer to help you and me both.

Me too! Hello Vic. How are you? It's very hot here too, and will only get hotter. The heat and humidity are always a problem for me - it drains me. We had a day where it reached 118 not so long ago!

Hello Lala. It's nice to 'see' you again, too! I do watch videos, too many. I spend too much time online trying to prevent myself from thinking. I'm so tired, Lala. I want to let go to give in to stop being alive.

Hello. I'm on vacation and my depression really worsens during this time. I have too much time to think and do nothing - it's driving me crazy. I want to bang my head against a wall because I don't know what to do with myself. It doesn't help that I have money problems at these times, because of course I don't have an income when I'm on vacation. I've tried to find work to help get me through until schools re-open, but haven't had any luck. I want to be busy I don't want to think.

Hi everyone, it's Endlessnight. As usual I've forgotten my old password so I can't get into my old account. I'm posting under a new account, I think, that Beth had kindly made for me ages ago. Can someone help me get back into my old account, or should I stay with this one? Thanks.