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Resolute

whining thread

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25 minutes ago, Resolute said:

people talk about such people being insecure etc, but i ask you this: how many such people end up in support forums, therapy, support groups etc? the only thing that changes for these people is their victims (they bully different people during their younger years than their older years. well, usually anyway).

I don't think that bullies should get sympathy for their insecurities, it's more about finding a way to bat away their criticism, knowing it's unfounded. Maybe aspects of society somehow encourage thick skinned bullies to progress? We don't crack down on bullying hard enough or early enough in life.

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@Victimorthecrime sorry to hear man. no useful advice comes to mind.

 

13 minutes ago, jazz said:

I don't think that bullies should get sympathy for their insecurities,

i didn't mean they got sympathy. i'm saying that their insecurities hurt their victims much more than themselves.

 

13 minutes ago, jazz said:

it's more about finding a way to bat away their criticism, knowing it's unfounded.

it is usually founded. no one is gonna bully the big strong good looking guy (star athlete etc) or the super hot girl (cheerleader etc). they only bully those with physical and or mental disadvantages. so if you have such a shortcoming then you're screwed.

 

13 minutes ago, jazz said:

Maybe aspects of society somehow encourage thick skinned bullies to progress? We don't crack down on bullying hard enough or early enough in life.

it's nature. the strong prey on the weak. that's just how it is and how it has always been.

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41 minutes ago, Resolute said:

 is usually founded. no one is gonna bully the big strong good looking guy (star athlete etc) or the super hot girl (cheerleader etc). they only bully those with physical and or mental disadvantages. so if you have such a shortcoming then you're screwed.

Is the criticism founded though? I would argue that it isn't. People tend to bully 'difference'.

On a side note, the bullies I saw in school were not particularly attractive or smart, they were just mean.

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1 hour ago, jazz said:

Is the criticism founded though? I would argue that it isn't. People tend to bully 'difference'.

if there is a weakness/disadvantage/vulnerability that can be exploited then it will be.

 

Quote

On a side note, the bullies I saw in school were not particularly attractive or smart, they were just mean.

many attractive people are bullies too. i'd say that smart people are more often victims rather than bullies. also, it's less common for attractive people to be victims and they're usually popular. the physically strong are also rarely targeted.

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Abuse is never founded, from my personal perspective. True that it happens, but that doesn't make it okay. Not to me.

Awareness and good boundaries, healthy assertiveness could possibly help, I think, @Victimorthecrime. I have been manipulated and hurt too in the past and it definitely sucks. I don't feel as vulnerable to that now, though. I hope so anyway. Do you have someone at work who you trust and can share with? Is there open communication, a chain of command, a human resources department?

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Thanks for the kind words Res & Irma.  It's a complicated situation but yes I do have a few people I talk to and believe me I am taking to them.  So far, gotta be honest, not getting the answers I hoped to hear.  BUT I am hoping that some things will open up in the new year 2017, things that aren't visible at the moment.  I'll keep you posted.  

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I'm likely going to fail the class I mentioned having trouble with earlier in the thread. I am utterly exhausted. I just ran out of time and was screwed over on other group assignments in other classes. I worked 48 hours straight since Monday afternoon trying to get it done, plus I got the flu I guess yesterday. Or a extremely bad cold, my head feels like it's been in a bench vise for two days. The project was due today and we were supposed to give a presentation, but I just skipped bc my project was such a disaster. I only got about half of the requirements done. The thing that sucks is that I should get A's in all my other classes. 

I have no idea what to do. I simply cannot get ahead in life.  :sfun_banghead: :sfun_banghead::sfun_banghead: It's one complete failure after another. I am truly someone who fails at everything. I look back at my life and it's just one deflated failure. This is why people develop learned helplessness. Eventually fate makes you lose motivation for anything.

 

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Can you go to your professor tomorrow, explain that you were ill, and ask to turn the assignment in late? I understand that you missed the presentation, but maybe you can still receive partial credit? Hopefully enough to pass the course? I hear you that sometimes it's challenging to push forward and keep trying, but I hope you will continue to try. Sending you strength. Try not to judge yourself harshly, if you can. It sounds like you worked very hard and did a great job with many A's.

I hope you are able to rest tonight and that you feel better soon.

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Wishing you the best, Pax

Keep trying, don't give up.  I relate to the sense of hopelessness that comes from repeated failure.

I finished law school in 1985, and began a long series of failures that lasted through 2008.

That's 23 years, if you're doing the math.

But stay strong and keep pushing forward.  Eventually you'll show them.

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Hello guys - I hope everyone's well.

Resolute - Good to see you're having a blast shitting over belief systems. Always fun to read your posts. 

Pax - Considering that you've aced your other tests I have a feeling you're going to average highly. Nonetheless I hope you're able to complete your course and enjoy the fruits of your hard work. 

Victim - I've always found it more beneficial to bask in my vulnerabilities than to guard against them. I hope that your ongoing resilience and thirst for progress takes you to new heights.

Beth - I hope you're recovering well following your procedure many months back.

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I'm very well, thank you, after my surgery and the subsequent complications. I still have some lingering stomach issues from time to time that are new since the surgery, but this is a small trade off for my overall good health. I'm grateful.

I was glad to see your update. Take care of yourself.

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On Thursday, December 15, 2016 at 10:22 PM, Small said:

Pax - Considering that you've aced your other tests I have a feeling you're going to average highly. Nonetheless I hope you're able to complete your course and enjoy the fruits of your hard work. 

SMALL STRIKES AGAIN!

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Thanks everyone, I appreciate the well wishes. My anxiety had been high because of the thought that I would have to quite the program and find work, so I am extremely grateful to have that worry gone. I will at least have a roof over my head till Summer now. 

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14 hours ago, Pax said:

I passed all my classes. Made not a great grade in the problem class, but GPA holding above 3.5 currently so I guess crisis averted for now. At least I can enjoy the holidays without worrying about being out on my ass again w/no income. As always for anyone who G.A.S.

Way to go, Pax.  You did some ass-whooping of your own.

Remember the Chinese proverb:  "a journey of a thousand miles [or li; they don't have miles in Asia.] begins with a single step."

You successfully did Step 1.  You can do Step 2 too.

 

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"What makes us change, then, if not deciding to do so? It turns out that we make changes when we have to, not when we want to.".

I've been saying that for years.     Glad the psychologists have caught up.  

The problem w the psychology today publication is an hour later they'll put out an article that says the exact opposite.  Also the have a "New York City" view of the world and engage in endless male bashing. A man that leaves his wife is the lowest kind of scumbag but a woman that leaves her husband is an icon of empowerment.  

What prompted you to post the article Res?  Are you feeling that you have to makes changes or did it just strike a chord?  

Regardless, hope all is well or as well as it can be.  

 

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thanks for the well wishes, vic.

i was reading/researching some stuff when i came across this article. i don't feel the need to make changes. i'm like those old people who know better than to make new resolutions.

actually my travel plans might be going back on track soon. i'll know more in the next couple of weeks. if things go as expected/hoped, it shouldn't be long before i'm home free (i don't mean homeless lol).

and ya, male bashing is always a fun pastime for shitheads.

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