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The Silence is Deafening


Athena

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I just told my brother not to ever call or e-mail me again. So long bro. Well, i can't say i blame you. You've lived off our mother your entire life. Working for a living is something other people do. Not you. Not my ex. Why did i ever bother confiding in you? So just so you know - it's not a good idea to side with a leeching, abusive, manipulating, lying, greedy, selfish, deadbeat ex. Not when I gave him everything he asked for in the last mediation session, which he's now made a mockery of. The gloves are off. See you in court, asshole. Welcome to HELL. You've put me there for six years. Let's see how you like it. No more rolling over, playing nice, giving up, being your doormat, paying for your every game of golf, every top of the line gadget, free lodging, free food, your holidays, your girlfriends. There may be no way out of hell for me because you will fight to keep all those things til I'm left with nothing, nothing, nothing. But at least you will end up in HELL too.

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I am mentally kicking the crap out of your ex for you. What's that, deadbeat? You thought you could walk all over Athena and nothing would come of it? Meet my fist. You take her money, I take your teeth.

Hang in there, lady!

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Thanks.

I think I'm past the punching bag stage for tonight. I need to find some big guy I can pay to beat the crap out of next time. I tried that once. A security guard - he took my 20 bucks, I got a witness to say he agreed to it, then I asked if he wanted to go outside. At that point he came to his senses, handed my money back and backed out of it. 10 minutes later the cops showed up and hauled me away. (well, not just for that). I'm not a violent person. The rage remains bottled up inside with no outlet. So, no security guards. Gotta come up with another idea.

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Ooooohhh, I can highly recomend voodoo dolls, dunno if they work, but well they might :(

Hey Athena,

Just popping by, to see how you are today.

Hope things are improoving for you :)

Take care

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Thanks for asking Sweetsue,

I've been dreading today. My lawyer came back from a week off so I figured she'd email my response to his lawyer today and I'd see the fallout. Nope. I get to stay in suspense. I figure another year comes off my life for every day I am kept waiting. I've kind of had a change of heart. I'm really stuck between a rock and a hard place. Keep fighting for what's fair (half) and possibly lose everything for myself and my kids. OR - let him walk all over me YET AGAIN for probably what amounts to a the court costs should we go that route. I'm coming to the conclusion that if he is prevented from changing his mind and going for more YET AGAIN the second I give in to his current demands, then I am willing to suffer the mental anguish of rolling over - for the sake of my kids. Then perhaps i will write a short book to my family on how incredibly damaging their lack of support has been to me, and pick up the pieces of whatever shred of dignity may or may not be left in me after this ordeal. As much as many women on this site would envy me for my education and successful career, I would warn them that it can come with massive, gut wrenching, soul destroying burdens. If you plan on being successful - never EVER EVER EVER get married!

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Yep - got divorced myself, about 10 years or so ago. I ended up giving my ex, the house, our joint busineses, the cars, the whole frigging lot - even the dog :( I was nieve and gullable, I didnt even bother getting a lawyer. The divorce only took about 6 weeks, 10 years of marriage, over in weeks - crazy...

But I didnt have kids back then, had I of done I would of fought tooth and nail, in the courts, outta the courts, you name it.

Im sorry your family arent being supportive of you :)

If it would help you to vent, or if you need a friendly ear - Im listening :)

Oh and BTW, my name is Sue - Hi :)

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Hi Sue,

Just waiting for disaster to strike. There is no word, only silence. That is never good. It's like the calm before the storm. Wheels turning, a locomotive gathering steam, heading straight for you and you're stuck on the tracks with no way off.

Lots of nervous energy today. It was a perfect morning so I went for a run. Then I ran up the local ski hill. Three times. (not a big hill, unless you're five years old). Came home and got cramping and nauseous and just about passed out so all I could do was lie down for a couple of hours. It's gone now. It's happened once before but not after a run. But then again I've never run up a hill before and not felt exhausted doing it. So I think it is stress related. Oh well, I feel quite a bit better now.

Thanks for asking. How are you doing?

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Oh Athena :)

The silence, is sometimes worse than the yelling and shouting :)

Gosh you're very energetic hun, I used to like running - when I was younger - now I think running for the bus would be too much for me. :(

I'm trying to keep myself possitve, and keep my emotions under control. Not sure if its my hormones playing up or me just being me, happy one minute, sad the next - for no reason. But I'm okay - thanks

Were here for you hun, okay :)

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I am cautiously optimistic. Got word from my lawyer Thursday. She thinks I misunderstood my ex's latest 'offer/demand'. We'll see. If I did, we could end up close to where we started three years ago before the lawyers told him to take me to the cleaners (brutal role reversal). Except for three years of life lost, kids and I in therapy, SI habit and legal bills. I have a meeting with Children's Aid a week Friday. Hope to find out where I stand before then. The prerequisite for me getting my kids back half time was for a deal to get done. Because the over the top threats make me crazy and CAS doesn't want me around my kids like that. You know how it is. It really would be nice to have my kids and my freedom and start life over.

Thanks again for asking Sue - especially in light of your challenges.

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Hi

Athena

How can you misunderstand of all people your ex! Is this the lawyer that you have talked about that isn't wrapped to tight?

I hope you can find voodoo dolls!! You definitely deserve for you & your kids to start fresh!!!!!!!!!!!

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Thanks Leo,

I fear I may be putting the cart before the horse. Although I told myself i didn't want to get my hopes up, I did. So every day I've been feeling a little better. People are noticing. I went from being pretty isolated - either ignored or despised - to all of a sudden getting noticed. It will be a very, very hard fall if this doesn't happen this time around, but I'm not getting any signs that it won't. So I just keep my fingers crossed.

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Sue, Leo, Lala, Pseud,

Thanks everybody. I got a draft separation agreement today. I dropped everything to review/reply and hope everything will be resolved soon. It's been a LOOOOONG, painful three years. Well actually more like 10 years but the last three were by far the worst. Keeping my fingers crossed (and toes, arms, legs and eyes:eek::(). Can't wait to start life over.

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