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Two Minds



When I woke up this morning, I had a story in mind. It was about reaching the summit of a ridge at dawn, and looking down into a beautiful fertile valley. And knowing that whatever route I took across it, whatever marvels I might find there, I would have to reach the opposing ridge by sunset.

The whole thing was going to be a metaphor for life, and a fairly positive one, I thought. But what stopped me from writing it wasn't that it wasn't truly what I believed. Or that it sounded even a tiny bit sappy to me; y'all know that's never stopped me before.

It's that I found, for all my conviction, that that positive image-building part of me can't be the only one.

There's a part of me that doesn't want to participate in my life, at least as it is now. There's a part that hates having to be the grownup, that wants the fancy sports car and not the bill, that wishes he could sleep and let everyone else do the living.

And he's a lot harder to talk about: he's embarrassing, and everything I've ever done "right" hurts him. And part of me knows that it would be reckless self-indulgence to do whatever he wants; he's a teenager with not only the false bravado typical of his age but the absolute conviction that he's never going to die.

And he's wrong.


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...walkin' down the avenue...... :o

Its okay to have the wants of a teenager ya know big bro, a lifestyle without responsibilities, a flash car etc....

I think over here we call it a 'mid-life crisis' :)

""Quickly legs it outta the blog section"" :o

Love you big bro :)

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Hugs to both your 'minds'! :D :D

I know that the shadow can be embarrassing and 'hard to live with', but... the way I see you tells me that it's good that you have him as he's also contributing to who you are. And I like you as you are... :) (I know you know this all, but... I like to write it at least occasionally :))

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