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today was um...


inferiority

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well i was called into the guidance department today, and was questioned about a variety of things including how i felt, how things were at home, and how i was feeling at school.

she seemed eager to help me, and i could tell she was struggling with the information i was giving her, i know she is only trying to help. I spilled everything basically that i felt comfortable sharing, and watched as she made careful notes about everything, feeling scared almost to the point of numbness throughout the entire process of being there.

in the end, i said that everything should be considered with me instead of what they felt would be in my best interest, and there was a lot of tension in this decision, because i could tell she wanted to do everything all right now.

i hope she doesn't go ahead with her own plans, thinking it better to do so then wait and work out details with me first.

it was a very ineffective time i think, but that may just be my own personal bias.

im not sure how to express my feelings right now, but this song comes pretty close right now.

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I'm a little lost, inf. What's going on? Why were you called in? Is this you finally getting help for your problems, or something else? You say she wanted to "do everything all right now." What is that referring to?

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sorry pseud, its just that things have become so confusing and i haven't really posted here in a while, so everyone on MHN is not caught up with the changes.

putting things shortly, i am trying to get help, but its all pretty complicated and i don't' really think i can explain it all very well :(

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Inf, it's okay. You've done what you needed to, and I think the ball is going to start rolling now. It appears as if your counselor actually wants to help you. Just try and relax a little.

Pseud, to answer your question, a few of us were talking with inf, and we all decided it be best for him to go back to the counselor and talk about everything short of pedophilia.

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I'm glad it went well. I know it must be terrifying right now because you don't have control over what they do but hang in there. This is going to be worth it. Remember, we're all rooting for you :(

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Hey, inf. I'm sorry it seems like things aren't happening. I can only imagine how difficult it was for you to do this. Hang in there. Things will sort themselves out soon. If they don't, we're all here backing you up and we'll help you figure something out. You're going to be ok. I'm around if you need to talk.

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Would it help to talk for a bit? I've got a phonecall I have to make in a second, but I'll be back on in about an hour I would guess.

We're sitting with you on this, kid. You're going to be ok. I'm sorry it's so hard right now.

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today could not possibly be worse...

school was alright i guess, but i come home and..... my room is in utter disarray because my mother doesn't know how to channel her anger well at all.

she just won't stop yelling at anyone who comes anywhere near her................................

putting on a happy face

hiding all the pain

existing in the empty space

bullet in the brain.

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What's going on, inf? Has anything happened after you told the school counselor? Do your parents know? What set your mother off?

I'm around if you need to talk. Sorry you're having such a hard time.

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Maybe it would be worth checking back with the counselor on monday? If nothing is happening, you can call CPS yourself if you need to. The school should have reported something by now. If you feel unsafe, you can always call the police as well.

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