So much in my head right now. Depression is really bad atm but I have enough CBT tools now to cope with it and still have it there but at least able to talk back to the destructive thoughts. Also have music coming through which is a good thing. Should practice more, maybe I could get the music out of my head and into an instrument. Still have a lot of fatigue from depression and thinking too much. Thinking about suicide often but refuting those thoughts. I don't want to face my maker quite yet. Fractured images still haunting me. So far I think they have to do with memories from when I dissociated as a kid to deal with abuse. There is more to it than that but I haven't gotten to the bottom of it yet.

So much to work on right now that I can see things in my life I want to change. Have been seeing the ways that I think and don't like what I see so taking steps to make changes. I didn't make it a week sober.

Addiction is still a problem. Back in support group for that now. Made it six days last time, should make it seven this time or even more. Only worry is July 4 and how to go through that sober. Boyfriend will be visiting just after that so it will be easy to not drink around him. Plus I am excited as anything that he is visiting.