I'm bleary-eyed and probably not full of much insight right now, but I want you to know that I'm listening and I care. I'm so sorry you're hurting this much. Are you seeing your therapist soon?

Do you like nature photos? I hope you feel better.

I'm sorry it's been so hard again and your bf reacted that way .

Did something trigger it (or you don't know)?

I hope you'll be "up" soon...

Good luck and take care!

I'm a little better now. I made it to work today at least. For some reason I always fulfill my commitments no matter how bad it hurts. I also saw my therapist today. Therapist said I need to stay busy. Ugh why is everything in therapy so much easier said than done? Duh I need to stay busy - try saying that to someone who can only get out of bed to end up laying on the floor.

What triggered it was trying to come up with a personal mission statement for my life and realizing I don't have one. I mean there is no point to my life except to be basically moral. Morals are the only reason I don't commit suicide, but that's no direction or vision along which to set life goals. I have nothing that I'm working toward accomplishing, no structure or anything to base important decisions on.

It's good that you are feeling better.

You are working toward healing, though, right? Have you set goals in therapy?

What do you feel passionate about, Ralph?

No goals in therapy yet. We talked about goals a while ago and never got back to it. Right now dealing with the current problem seems to be her priority.

I feel passionate about music, but I'm not good enough to make a career out of it. I haven't been that involved since the latest episode of depression (a couple years now). Why do you ask?

I think it's good to connect with things we are passionate about. Sometimes it might lead us to a purpose. I also think that embracing our passions bring us to life. Even if you can't make a career out of it, if it brings you joy, maybe it could be fun? I love music too. Did you play in a band? My dad was a drummer back in the day and my cousin played bass with Lenny Kravitz.

About therapy, if setting goals feels important to you, maybe bring it up with her?

Take care.

I used to play in a band, yes. I don't anymore because since I moved I haven't found anyone else to play music with. Tried Craigslist but only found super serious people who wanted to gig professionally and I don't see myself at that level without doing some amateur level first.