I'm feeling better now. I found that the main source of the noisy thoughts was guilt and shame. Lament and regret over past actions, both what I've done and what was done to me. Crying over spilt milk, to put it another way. This can have a strong and negative influence on future actions. "Bad thing happened to me and I did bad things, therefore I must be a Bad Person. As a Bad Person, I can only continue to do Bad Things, and the worst will continue to happen to me." Self fulfilling prophecy.
New thought, "I've made mistakes and as a human I am allowed to make mistakes. I already suffer the consequences, so there is no need for me to beat myself up further. As for what happened to me, I am relatively safe now. I would prefer to have a wonderful family life with great friends, but if loneliness is the worst I have to deal with then I am doing pretty well, comparatively. What matters now is to learn from those mistakes and figure out what to change going forward."
I haven't figured out the purpose of my life. I don't even have priorities except to ensure my own financial stability. I have figured out, I think, that it will be easier to set priorities and ultimately define the meaning of my life if I get more organized in all areas of my life. This will be a major project as so much seems completely out of control. I will probably have some starts and stops along the way. However, I have been working with my mind in meditation, maybe I can transfer what I've learned to bring some sort of sanity to my work, home, and social lives.