You are our friend, lil sis.... don't be calling yourself names!!!

Hey do you enjoy reading? Do you have any paint supplies?

So glad to hear from you; sorry things have been rough

Hi Big Sis,

Things havnt realy been rough - just a tad all over the gaff. And me behaving stupidly hasnt helped my situation any - if at all. I kinda did what ever it is Ive been doing, and now things are a tad messy.

Suppose I just need to do a bit of self house work and clean up my act a lot!!!

Yep I love reading, only nonsecal, unemportant stuff thats funny tho, I havnt the brain power for anything I gotta really concentrate on - go figure.

And yep, plenty of paint, thats something else I started and never got round to finishing, decorating my place - I lost heart in it. My pottery group is going well tho

Hope yer ok Big Sis, sorry Im in a bit of a bum mood lately

Funny books are my favorite! Do you like PG Wodehouse? That Jeeves could clean up our lives

Are you doing pottery on the wheel or slab or??? Sounds very cool!

Hope you have some signs of spring. We are still under piles of snow.

I always love hearing from you...

Hi Sue. Is there anything you know of that brings this on? Did something happen? Do you like to write at all? I know sometimes for me if stuff feels too hard, it helps to write something with a bit of fantasy in it just to give myself a little break from the stress.

Have you considered talking with your new fiance and telling him you've reconsidered?

It's good to hear from you. I hope things look brighter for you soon.

Hi

You always make me smile when you stop by.

Take care of you.

Hi Sue! I am here, trying to think of something profound to say... I have nothing. Please take care of you: YOU are worth it

thanks for everyones kindness , its good to hear from you all, ive missed you.

think, huh, that seems to be the problem lately, I dont think - well not properly.

things just seem to be getting way too much, and quite quickly. the engagement is still on - cant seem to find the words to tell him to just sod off. sounds harsh I know, but its true. and its how I feel. and thats well and truely trapped. its getting harder to have time to myself. s'pose I could run away, i am kinda good at that. and it sure as hell beats being manipulated into doing things I just dont want to do.

ok - stopped whinging now - sorry

and big sis, im doing pottery on the wheel - its megga fun - and messy - there is a art to it, and i havnt quite mastered it yet!!!

Hope everyone is doing as ok as they can be

take care

Would he go to premarital counseling with you?

Tell him it takes time to form a lasting healthy relationship, and see if he can handle that. Is he a dangerous possessive type, DaisySue?

Love the idea of messy clay whirling round

Hi Big sis,

Nah, dont think that counseling is even in his vocabulary - hes not that sort of guy. I suppose he is nice enough, just a tad controling, but not in a violent way, just in his behaviour. Hard to explain. thank goodness he lives in a different town to me, so atleast I get the week days to myself. Well sorta, he drives for a living, so he usually pops by unannounced, feels like hes checking up on me, and ive even started to pretend Im out - just so that I dont have to deal with him. I just need to find the courage to tell him that this relationship aint happening, wish him well and send him on his way. If only its that easy!

On a plus, i turn 40 this weekend - my life is due to begin!

(cant believe im so old already!!!!)

Are you afraid about how he might react if you end things with him?

Your birthday is this weekend? Hope you get to have chocolate cake.

As Mary says, you are worth it! Take care of you around this guy, SueSue!

And as Beth says, bring on the chocolate this weekend!!!!

Haaaaaaaaaappppppppppppyyyyyyyy Birrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrthday, lil sis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...

Wow!!!! What lovely cakes!!! Yum, Yum

So aparently my life has finally begun - yay me. I dont feel any different, or any older - go figure. Maybe it takes a while for my grown upness to begin !

Had a ok weekend, with cake and presents and everything, even had a sorta party - where I managed not to get drunk. But even then, it felt like just like any other day of the week. reckon I was just in a grump - oops.

The man in my life is doing my head in - hes got it into his head that its perfectly ok and normal to want to be with me 24/7. I suppose I should be grateful that there is someone out there that likes me enough to want to be with me. And in a way to start with I kinda was - hmm, but that was then. I know I should just call things off but like I said things arent that simple - when are they ever in this damn world. Fear, nerves and anxiety have a bloody lot to answer for ( obviously my own stupidity has a few things to answer for too)

On a plus I have discovered a few things about myself,

Im ratty, rude and not very nice - especially when I dont get my own way.

I dont like others controlling me in my life and prefere to be left on me todd and to me own devises.

I am capable of being independant - as I can screw up all by myself without any help what so ever.

but mostly, that what ever I do these days, its gonna turn out a mess - so I may aswell live in a apron!

Im breathing - so things cant be bad

Have fun all

Is there someone there you can speak with that might help you with this situation, Sue? Maybe a counselor who could advise you?

Hope things are okay. Sending happy spring wishes.

Heya lil sis, were you able to make a break with the engagement?

Sorry I have been so busy

aww, Beth what a cute picture :)

Hi ya Big sis, hope that you are okay hun. Nope still engaged dunno how to get out of it - especially now :eek:!

tryna just ignore that part of my life till it goes away - somehow. Not sure that tactic is working out so great, but im keeping at it uess I always was stubborn - oops.

counselling is going okay - discovered that if I dont talk about anything too deeply it dont affect me as much, perhaps thats how people learn to cope with shite, they can just somehow switch off from all the pain - or atleast not admit to it, or share it with anyone - hmmm progress

Whoa things have been nutso for me!

hoping for a calmer week.

How is pottery class? Is there any sign of spring in the UK? We still have snow piles, but today and tomorrow are supposed to warm up.

Painful events in the past is one truth of life. So is what is happening presently... that is real too. Maybe finding some kind of middle road? Our thoughts and feelings can get carried away, but in the middle road we are here now and doing what we can.

How are you, lil sis?????????????

Missing you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!