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Blog Ralph

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Alright


Ralph

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I'm getting better and have been doing really well lately. Less isolation, more exercise, stopped drinking (again). Sobriety is my focus right now, because drinking messes everything else up. I can either have the things that I value, or alcohol. It shouldn't be a tough choice, but it is. Even though it's threatening to kill me, I really really love drinking. I don't love hangovers though. I don't enjoy the panic attacks that follow a day of drinking, and the two days of lost productivity that I spend trying to regain homeostasis following a binge. My drinking had really gotten out of control. I used to say my drinking was ok because it wasn't like I was taking down an entire fifth (750mL) of vodka in a night. Well I blew past that benchmark taking down a handle (1.75L) in two nights with some beer besides.

I'm doing a web course that's based on proven methods for stopping addiction. I feel different about alcohol now. During prior quit attempts I would have obsessive cravings for alcohol that happened over and over again. Since starting this course, I've only had a few passing thoughts in a day. I just don't think about it as much. I'm busy thinking about other things, such as my future with my partner and I'm trying to be more self disciplined. I need to be self disciplined in order to lose the weight that I gained from heavy drinking over the past year. Next I need to work on my diet and my procrastination habit. I'm also studying Buddhism a lot and that is helping me with my depression. It's difficult to explain but I've gotten better at accepting what I cannot change and more compassionate towards myself and others. This leaves me with more peace in my mind.

I cannot say how long this will last, but I want to enjoy it while it does.

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I'm doing well. I'm hoping to keep my momentum with sobriety going. If I think about drinking, it does tempt me, but then I remember how bad things got, and I don't want to go back there again. I never experienced any drastic consequences from my drinking but I had seen some mild ones that I knew would only grow after time if I didn't listen to the wake up calls I had been given. My depression is still an obstacle to deal with, but it's at least something I can work with instead of an overwhelming monster that I can't handle.

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Finding, the web course is overcomingaddictions.net. I haven't been using it as much lately and I have noticed my urges coming back. Still not strong, but more than they were when I was using the course every day. I guess it would be good for me to get back into it.

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smallstar I would say that depends on how likely a relapse is at this time. If I was already stable in my sobriety and had made the lifestyle changes necessary to sustain it, then I would most likely not need it.

However, in my case I was relapsing repeatedly and needed something extra to get me out of that pattern. It worked for me and the cost is more than returned to me in alcohol purchases I haven't made due to taking this course. As always, YMMV

I've done more work on the course in the past week and my urges are now almost non-existent. I may have a thought about alcohol, but it isn't an attention grabbing craving that makes me want to think about the good times I had with drinking and ignore the consequences. I have been logging my urges and I'm noticing that I'm not even logging one urge every day, it's more like 2 urges every 3 days now, which is the most peace I've felt with sobriety in a long time.

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