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tourdelove

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So Here I am. Nothing pleases me again. I try to take myself out of this rut, but don't try hard enough. I am ansy. Don't know what to do for work. I sort of push people away by being needy. I don't have energy.

Today and yesterday, I tried a list of gratefulness and shutting down any thoughts of negativity towards myself. But I still feel so lonely. I want to talk and talk to someone. But who. And when I am with someone, I want to leave again.

Yesterday, I talked to my mom and she was helpful, and all I ended up doing is made her cry. I feel awful about it.

what's going on.

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Oh dear. Here I am trying to find a job... or at least some extra work and apparently, my good friend who's trying to get me some contract work said that his boss has a bad impression of me, from my old work when I worked at some agency. I can understand, as it was really bad there when I left. Not only was I having personal problems, getting separated with my long time boyfriend, but, the new boss at the time was intently trying to fire me... along with a few other staff. She fired a few, and the others quit.

I know my attitude wasn't the best at the time. But I have no idea what to say for my defense to this guy!!!! It might be a lost cause. But I am so sad my reputation has been damaged. I have worked so hard, and well for this company for four years, seriously. And all is left is the bitterness of the end. And the gossip. And the abuse of power and destruction of another person's livelyhood, because this boss can and does.

How to turn this around???

I don't wish to badmouth my ex-boss. I don't think that does anything. I am not so much for the 'an eye for an eye' thing.

How to regain my dignity in this. How to regain my reputation??? It was as hard as it was for me. But it's still coming back to haunt me. People who have work with me or seen my work tell me I am a good worker and talented. But I still have a hard time finding the self-confidence, and on top of that, my reputation is now blemished.

I want to help this situation but I don't want to make it worst by re-opening old wounds and reminding people of this career breaker.

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To me, honesty is the best policy. If there's a way to approach this manager, just talk to him. Say you know your work from that period is not what you would want, a bit of why, and that you think you're prepared to do better now. Offer a trial period. You don't have to get personal to explain; everyone has had bad periods. And you can't make it worse for trying, in this case.

Those are my thoughts. I think your dignity is intact. But you have to think that, for it to be true. ;-)

Don't let the relationship thing get you worried about this completely separate thing, please.

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No, it's separate from the relationship thing. It's true. And thanks for the advise. I have to call my friend now to see how we can present 'me' in a good light. I am a bit worried. I suppose I have nothing to loose.

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