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malign

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Well, I recently passed a kind of semi-anniversary, I guess. It was six months on August 25th that I've been separated from my wife.

What a mind-expanding and life-altering time it's been. No, not fun. There are still things that are out of balance. I have no living room furniture, still, for instance. Sure, money's tight, but that's not really the reason. I think I'm afraid to settle in because I see this place as temporary. I just don't know for sure what's next.

But, and I do think it's related to the passing of the semi-anniversary, I have begun to get things I need. I got a real mobile phone, complete with a two-year contract. I bought a re-conditioned laptop and set up internet access at the apartment. That's a necessity of life (for a computer geek, anyway) that I have done without for ... several years now. All I have to do now is to cut down on my web surfing during work hours. Not to mention figuring out how to make myself get off before midnight. ;-)

I have stolen 'goose's Demented Bunny idea and I'm running with it. :-) I started a Social Group on here, but more importantly, I'm trying to integrate the idea of being a Demented Bunny (at least, my idea of what that is) into my everyday life. To me, it means living with a bit more freedom, a little less concern for some distant future that only exists in my imagination. I'm starting to believe that I'm okay, no matter who I am, which in turn has led to learning a bit more about who that is.

I do find myself repeatedly thanking my friends here for all the things I've learned from them. I might've survived if I didn't find this site, but I would never have grown so much so quickly, and I certainly wouldn't have enjoyed it even a fraction as much. I love you all.

Mark

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hEY MARK

Wow lot of info, im brain dead at mo so bear with me,

Firstly happy annerversary. ok you may not see it that way.

Youve accomplished so much in such a short space of time ,you should be proud of yourself.

Dont worry about not havong much furniture, these are only material things, just think of all that dusting your saving yourself from. lol

Anyway i think your subconcious is just telling you something about what you truely desire in life at mo. Maybe your just in the living in the wrong location to where you want to be (just a thought)

Good kuck with the demented bunny thing, it sounds a pretty cool idea, and i love the photo it proper made me get the case of the giggles (sorry you know how i am ay mo, it really dosnt take much )

Take care

Jj

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I'm toughing things out. I wish the thoughts of her would go away....its hard not to slip into funks. Like the littlest things of no consequence can sometimes send me off on a mind tangent that just feels me leaving depressed. I hope those things stop eventually because I never used to have such problems. I ended up reading your whole blog from start to finish the day after I messaged this place and you responded. Its made me realize that sometimes healing from this shite can be a much longer process than I thought it'd be, and I guess that makes me feel more normal.

Take care,

-Quinn

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Oh man, and I'm nowhere near "done" yet. :-)

You have dedication, to have read this entire mess. I don't think I've even read the whole thing. :-) Okay, maybe once.

The thing about it is, you don't have to be anywhere near done, to start feeling an improvement. Sometimes a good feeling comes from something as simple as spending a few extra minutes on yourself, some time during the day. You certainly don't have to wait until you have all the solutions, that's for damn sure, or I'd still be waiting. :-)

Take care of yourself in the meantime, that's the point, and then everything else takes care of itself.

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