I'm so sorry for your pain, OnlyHuman

I'm sorry, too, Human. I think you've eloquently expressed the feelings of loved ones left behind.

Would you let me refer this post to any suicidal people I might encounter, please? I think it would help them to hear another voice.

Thanks finding my way & malign.

It's heartbreaking to lose people way before their time is up. It pains me to know that he hurt for so long. Because of the way it's ended, he'll never have the opportunity to experience joy again. He never had a sense of peace.. But now, his children will suffer because they have lost their father. I've lost my big brother. How is that fair?

You can pass it along to whoever you think needs to hear it.

Life didn't make us a promise to be fair, unfortunately.

Today is my mother's birthday. She would've been 90.

I didn't celebrate it with her last year, for reasons of my own.

I lost her to cancer last November.

I know it's different; the only bad choices were mine. But I think I know a bit of how you feel. I'm sorry.

You're right, Life isn't fair. If it was, this website wouldn't exist.

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. Did you do anything special for her birthday? I can only imagine how it must feel to lose a parent (at any age). I think it's always hardest to say goodbye to someone that you've never had to live without. I hope you find some sort of comfort in the good memories with your mom, as I have with my brother.

Everyone makes bad choices, malign. It's okay to make them as long as you move on and learn from them.

This website, like many other (H!)uman efforts, is an attempt to make it as fair as possible. ;-)

I did call my dad. He's alone in his apartment now. He seems to be coping ("It's just another day, after all"), but it made sense to talk to him a bit, anyway. Make some plans to see my brother's kids next weekend; get him looking forward. There are good memories of my mother, too; thanks for reminding me. Even times when we contemplated her passing together, so there is some comfort.

You're right about bad choices. Remember, that's all your brother did, make a bad choice. It's just that the pain level made him make a choice he couldn't take back. I'm sorry it happened that way.