i'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hungry right now. how stupid is that?

it's stupid of me to complain. there's lots of food in the house. i just can't eat:(

i like the way it makes me feel [after i get used to the hunger pain]. it's feels like i'm empty and floating and really light and high and controlled. it's a nice feeling sometimes. maybe that's why i don't eat. sometimes it can get scary though when i feel like i might faint. the headaches suck too.. it makes me feel so guilty when i eat. i don't mean to do it but sometimes i set goals for myself not to eat. i don't even notice myself setting them. it just happens automatically. my brain automatically tells me i'm on a diet and that i'm not allowed to eat. and i automatically accept that i can't eat. i'm pretty good at not eating. but i usually always slip up in the end and eat something even though the thing inside me is ordering me not to. then i get reallly really angry with myself for breaking the rules and it makes me hate myself even more:( then the voice starts telling me how stupid and fat and ugly i am. and then it starts all over again. i used to be able to make myself eat certain foods but lately i can't eat hardly anything. i can't even eat ice-cream:( and that's my favourite..

right now i'm so dizzy and lightheaded from not eating. but that's a good thing, right?

i'm not sure if i'm making sense but i hope i am..

i dunno why but i find it really hard to talk about this. really really hard:(

i suppose i'll go to bed now. i hope tomorrow is a better day. hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

I HOPE YOU HAVE A BETTER DAY TOMORROW TOO, BLOSSOM

TAKE CARE

SUE

:cool:

thanks Jj, i hope you have a good day too.

gotta go to work now.

i'm a big brave dog....................................

Blossom, have you thought about this much before? Is this something you would want your daughter to be doing?

There's so much hatred in your environment. Is it possible to get a little rebelious against that????

Rebelling against your body is just more hatred.... She is going to get so confused....

BLOSSOM

WERE ALL HERE FOR YOU , IF YOU EVER NEED TO TALK.

WE DO CARE ABOUT "BLOSSOM" YOU KNOW.

TAKE CARE HUN

SUE

PS

F.Y.I.

YOU DO NOT "SUCK " AS A FRIEND.

YOU ARE ACTUALY A REALY GOOD ONE, NOT JUST TO ME , BUT TO EVERYONE THATS EVER HAD THE PLEASURE OF KNOWING YOU.

PLEASE TRY NOT TO BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF.

Jj

:cool:

I hope you didn't bet very much, baby. :-)

You're a good friend to lots of people, otherwise, why would we all want to cheer you up when you're down? You do it for us ...

The kind of thing you described, sweety, eating for control, is how eating disorders happen. Eating, or not eating, is only for nutrition. Of course you can't ever succeed completely at not-eating, unless you die. And then you have to beat yourself up, because your body chose to live. How about working on other things to control, like where you live and who your friends are and who you listen to? Let your body have its food. Please?

thankyou guys.

yeah it's something i have been thinking lots and lots about for a long time. i don't know how to get rebellious with it. and no, i wouldn't want my daughter to be doing it. i know what i'm doing is not a good thing. but i can't change it. like i said, i automatically do it. i don't know how to change. and i can't eat atall lately. it's not that big of a deal anyway, i'm still alive. i don't know. it's confusing:(

HEY BLOSSOM

WANNA TALK

WANT SOME DIET COKE ?

WOULD THAT CHEER YOU UP HUN

:cool::eek:

BLOG CALLING BLOSSOM,

COME IN BLOSSOM

HELLO ANYBODY THERE !!!!!!!!!

hey sorry jj, my internet is really slow today..

i'm here now.

MINE IS TOO, ITS DRIVING ME INSANE, YOUR IN THE SAME TIME ZONE RIGHT. DO YOU THINK THAT MAY HAVE SUMMIT TO DO WITH ITT, OR AM I BEING REALY THICK ?

yeah the same timezone. maybe that's it. it's really annoying..hmmmmmmmmm.

HEY BLOSSOM YOU STILL THERE ?

WHERE IS EVERYBODY TODAY ?

hey. yeah i'm still here. i dunno..i guess it gets quiet at the weekends..

IM FED UP, ITS BORING IN THIS PLACE, I WANT TO GO HOME.

IF YOU COULD GO ANY WHERE INN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD TOU GO ?

I THINK I'D LIKE TO GO TO......

DISNEY LAND, FLORIDA

i'd go shopping in target in america:)

oooooooOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH

SHOPPING, DID YOU SAY SHOPPING

WHAT WOULD YOU BUY, I LOVE SHOPPING

i'd buy.......

...

......

..........

some diet coke!!

i'd buy.................................chocolate,

chocolate cakes , chocolate biscuits ....................and yeah i 'd probably get some coke too.........