ok so all i got to do is keep myself alive til sunday. i'm moving sunday night after work. then i'll give college a shot and see if it helps or not. if it doesn't, i dunno what will happen. and i'll try be nicer to myself too. i don't really know how to be nice to me though.. everything seems so out of control right now. summer holidays are torture... i wonder will next summer be as bad..
i wish i didn't care so much about what other people think of me.. it makes me feel bad about myself if i think someone is thinking badly of me. even if it's a stranger or a customer in work that i've never met before in my life. why do i even care what other people think? that's something i want to change..
there's lots of things i'd like to change. i dunno whether that's good or bad. i wish i could just be happy with myself as i am. i wish i wasn't so bad at talking about how i feel.that's the worst part i think. it feels like it's all built up inside me and i have no way of getting it out. i don't know if that can be fixed. and if that can't be fixed, how am i supposed to get better...?
i dunno. it's so frustrating.