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i am very tired tonight... i think all the late nights have caught up with me. i don't really want to be home. it takes all my energy. work takes all my energy too. hmmm. i made my art choices this morning, i chose painting, print and graphics. i'm not so sure if graphics was the best idea. then i went to collect all my work that got assessed and when i walked into the room and seen it on the wall i felt so ashamed. it looked like crap beside everyone elses. i shouldn't be in that college. no way. all i want to do is rip all my pictures into teensy pieces and throw them in the bin where they belong. i want to hide forever. in my bed. i hate life because it's really stupid and everyone says it'll get better but really it won't. so what's the point?


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You have had waaaaaaaaayyyyyyy too many negative things said to you LadyBlossom. Art is a wonderful thing, and making it is a reason all unto itself. It doesn't require any evaluation. Colleges are different. They turn people down because there isn't room for everyone. You do not have to take any of that personally. Don't turn you down:(. The people around you just don't seem to get the secret of living. You don't have to go along with how they are. I know it is hard not to listen to them :)

"I've Heard the Mermaids Singing" is a Canadian film about art and the art spirit. Have you guys heard of it over there?

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i can't not turn me down. my art is crap.it should be thrown in the bin and that's all there is to it. i shouldn't be in art college. i shouldn't even be alive. just a waste of space. stupid me. who cares. i'm getting worse instead of better. i'm never happy anymore. i'm the negative one.

now my cousin is making me go out with her tonight. i'm going to drink so much that i become numb andcan't remember anything. then maybe i'll get some peace.

i've never heard of that film.

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blossom, your art is NOT crap, you are good at art. please dont throw your work in the bin, or i will just have to discharge myself from this hospital and visit ya, just so i can get it back out of the bin, do'ya know how much trouble that would get me into lil sis ?

you should be alive, and as to who cares, well I know of a certain fairy godfather that cares about you a great deal, a amazing teacher who calls you lady bug, who thinks the world of you, then theres this really super cool person who is well into stars that would do anything too help you feel better, oh and theres me (yeah i know bonus :)) and thats just a few of the people here that love ya and care about you, im sure there are many more people too.

please dont give up on you lil sis, coz we are never gonna give up on you.

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:(lessons taught over and over to LadybugBlossomy by ykw: when things are going bad, find blossom and take it out on her, call her bad names, say she is worthless :)

This is what you were taught to do. :(

You weren't taught to feel and to think and what those are for, and how to express yourself and how to build a life, and how to find a way through it all.

You weren't shown those things, but you are still making your way anyway as best as you can. Give yourself credit for that, blossom :(

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thanks but ye shouldn't care about me . i' m a bad person. ye shouldn;t waste yer time on me. i am useless. and so what if ykw is mean to me. i deserve it. i am a bad bad person. i'm drunk right now so i'm speaking the truth.

i should be dead, ye need to stop being nice to me and being my friend because i am very bad and useless and wasting everyone's time.

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i don't know what to say. i hurt right now. and nothing will take it away. i think i'm going to cry. everything is very pointless. i should just give up because nothing is going to get any better. i hate myself. i hate everything. i hate the world. i want to be dead and iwant my feelings to be taken away from me:(

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oh blossom,

if i could i would take all of your pain away, we all would each and every one of your friends.

ykw, is a stupid nasty bully :mad:

you are none of those things that she has told you over the years, NONE OF THEM !!!!

lil sis, hun. seriously please, you are a lovely person. Dont believe the hatred that comes from ykw's mouth. i know its hard, and it hurts like HELL, please just try try your damndest to ignore her.

i love you lil sis and Im sending you a massive hug, and all my love. Im sorry just so sorry that you are feeling so much hurt. :) :)

we all love you blossom.

please take care

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