hey blossom, what's wrong? Why do you want to disappear?

I hope you're okay today.

hi starry. because i'm stupid and a waste of time and space.

oh, what happened?

(and, you are not, but I know you don't want to hear that)

nuthing:(

it's just the truth.

i'm sorry for being a bad friend.

well, it's not the truth, and you're not a bad friend.

I hope you feel better soon blossom.

im sorry blossom

thanks and i'm sorry:(

i don't know why i feel so worried. i'm not worried about anything in particular i don't think. the feeling is just there and i can't get rid of it. i feel as worried now as i did the week before my art had to be handed up and that makes no sense. i wish i could just forget about everything and i wish every feeling inside me would go away. tomorrow morning i'm going to visit my old college. i'm a little scared about it. i'll finally get to meet the girl who stole my name:(

i'll probably come home sadder than ever and i'll start missing everyone.

i wish i could just relax and let all the bad feelings out but i can't:(

hey blossom, this is probably me just being stupid, but why don't you skip the visit? You already know it's just gonna make you sad so why go?

you're not being stupid. that would make sense. i just know if i don't go visit i'll regret it and i hate regrets. i really miss everyone there so it'll be good to see them, just sad at the same time.

yeah, I understand, it just seems to me if it is going to hurt you so much to go, maybe it's not worth it.

But I understand why you would want to go.

I hope you at least enjoy your time while you're there.

i did enjoy it. i was sad at the same time though. i didn't want to leave. i don't know how but it made me feel motivated again just by being there. then me and my friend got the bus back to town and went for coffee and talked. i miss doing things like that. then we just hung out for a while. then i came home and ykw made me feel bad again and now she won't let me visit my other friends in college tonight. i was supposed to be going to a birthday party but never mind. now i am sad again i'm crying because everything is a mess. how can i fix things when everything is so negative?

i fell asleep and had a nightmare..

But it's still daytime!

Must've been a daymare.

You okay?

uh huh.

yeah.

i'm turning over a new leaf i think.

What kind of leaf is it?

I'm partial to maple leaves, myself.

it doesn't matter as long as it's a leaf.. any kind will do!

Okay, then: what's on the other side of it?

positive stuff and no negative stuff..! and sparkly things!

Ooo, sparkly! :-)

It sounds like a really nice leaf; I hope you can keep it turned this side up.

But remember you're a human, too: no one's sparkly all the time. That's what friends are for.

well, i havn't really found this leaf yet..

it's just a plan.

all my friends are sparkly too!

Mmm, well, at least for myself, I can tell you that although I do try, I don't always sparkle ...

Sounds like a good plan, as long as you really want it. {That's how I describe my own efforts: I believe in sparkling, I just don't always manage it.}

And once you decide, there are leaves everywhere! :-)

i wanna be like a caterpillar

turning into a butterfly!!!!

i just did an IQ test and it says i have a higher IQ than albert Einstein and hilary clinton and george bush!

You're already a ... LadyBlossomBug!

Um. Did they say how many points to subtract if you believed them? :-)

I'm teasing, sweety. Many famous people don't test very high. It's more, what you do with what you get. You can be a terrific butterfly, no matter what IQ you have.