and then she made me feel stupid by saying that i talk about the same thing every week. but really she's the one that brings college up every week

i gotta go my cousin's here.

my cousin came to visit me today. we were supposed to go out tonight and she was sposed to stay here the night but then her boyfriend who she broke up with last week called her and asked her to come to his house so she did. i've been abandoned..

i suppose she'll come back when she needs something. i'm just a doormat anyway. people think they can just come to me when they want something but then when i need them they disappear.

i've decided i'm quitting therapy [for real] next week coz she makes me feel bad every week (

and it's not helping me feel any better so what's the point??? the only time she talks is to ask me how am i going to fix things??? she asks me over and over and over and i say "i dunno" each timw. i think she thinks i'm being awkward and stubborn but i'm not doing it on purpose. i really don't know the answer. and each time she asks me i feel worse and worse coz maybe i'm just really stupid and i should know the answer by now. but i don't. if i knew the answer i think i would've "fixed" everything by now.

so yeah i'm going to quit.

i'm babysitting two of the neighbour's goldfish tonight coz she had to go home early. i'm really scared they will die. she told me to talk to them because they like that but i'm not sure what fishes like to talk about...

i can't get properly drunk anymore ( i drank a whole bottle of wine tonight and nothing.. i used to be able to get drunk off 1 glass ( i miss being drunk...

and now i dunno if my cousin is coming back here tonight or not. she has no key to get in past reception so i will have to go let her in if she decides to come back . i dunno whether to sleep or not.. but i'm so tired i think i'd really like to go to sleep.... after my cousin abandoned me my next-door-neighbour came over for tea and he cheered me up.

the end..

Good luck baby sitting your neighbours goldfish hun

hey thanks sue! they're still alive THANK GOD!!!

My cousin still hasn't come back. hmmm.....

yikes worst hangover ever...

i have sooooooo much fashion work to doooooooooo.

hmmm:( it's really lonely here todayy....

my therapy lady realllllllllllly doesn't get me... i know it's part my fault though coz i'm really bad at talking and then when i do talk i word things all wrongly.. so then she picks me up wrong. and i feel like she insults me sometimes but she words it nicely so i'm really confused about whether she means to insult me or not.. i think i'll probably quit next week coz i'm tired of it and we seem to have the same conversation over and over every week. then she always stares at me and it freaks me out a lot.

i have to try get all my fashion done for monday so i will be verrrrrry busy this weekend..

i had a good day today. my cousin eventually came back to mine and then we went shopping and then we hung out and then drove home. and it was sunnnyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! )

but i'm reallllllllllly sleepy now so i'm gonna go to sleep coz i have work in the morning!!

i also have to decide my future by monday!

hey blossom, good luck deciding your future!!!!!!!!!!!

thanks starry.

this place is getting too lonely.... :mad:

hmmm.

i'm really pissed off. i think it's coz im tired though.. i've stayed up every night this week til about 2 or 3 in the morning trying to get my fashion work done. i just want to sleep..

i was planning to go for a nap but now i've gotta go to church tonight coz my sister wants me to go see a movie with her in the morning and i have to try get my fashion finished by monday aswel. i don't have enough time :mad:

i also have to decide my future by monday morning and i dunno what to choose and i need help but there's noone to help me.

hi blossom

I can try to help, if you'd like.

hey starry.

thanks, see i don't really want to have to choose but i don't have a choice. i'll try explain what i'm talking about.

in the first college semester we tried each art discipline for a week. then at the end of that semester we had to pick the 3 we liked best. then we had to try those 3 out for 2 weeks in semester 2. so far i've done 2 weeks of painting, 2 weeks of ceramics and last week because most people were going on the college trip i got to choose whatever i wanted to do for the week so i chose fashion coz i felt like doing something different. next week and the wk after i'm supposed to do print but the fashion tutor wants me to try fashion instead of it. so i have to choose... but i dunno what to pick coz i like them both equally. i'm scared coz after these 2 weeks i have to pick one out of the 3 disciplines i picked and then i will end up doing that for the next 3 years of college. I DUNNO WHAT TO DOOOOOO

it's too complicated..

hey blossom, i'm sorry i took so long, i had a sudden situation.

that does sound difficult and like a lot of pressure!

To me, it seems like you always really liked fashion. like you would get really excited about it. Do you feel any more passion towards one of the types? I guess you should try and think about it like this is gonna be your career, so you want to try to choose something that you enjoy most, the more you enjoy it the less it will feel like work.

hey i'm sorry starry i had to run to church!!!!!!!!!!

i do really like fashion but i also really like print.

i know fashion will be really really stressful and i'll probably never get a chance to sleep ever again if i do it.. print would be a lot easier i think. but i dunno! i'd like to do fashion but i mightn't be able to become an art teacher or do art therapy or anything like that if i do it. it's too confusing (

oh, well that makes sense blossom. In that case I think you should choose the one that leaves you with the most open future. The one that allows you the possibility to become an art teacher or therapist.

but i dunno.. see i really really like fashion. i don't mind doing it coz i enjoy it... | hmmmm. (

i wish i didn't have to decide my future right now..

yeah that is a tough decision to make.

I wish I had some better advice for you. But if you look at it this way, you enjoy both, so really either way at least you'll like what you do and if you ever want a change it's always possible to train for something else.

hey blossom, just wanted to let you know I have to go now for a little bit. I don't mind talking more about your decision later or tomorrow if you want. Hope you have a good weekend

ok thanks starry. i hope you're ok.

where is everyone...?

[remember my guitar boy from last summer??? well, he has a new girl now ( ]