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Dissatisfaction


malign

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Well, as I've intimated or openly stated to several people, today, I'm feeling a bit cranky. {Interesting that I know so many people well enough, now, to have had that opportunity/need.}

I'm just impatient, I guess; dissatisfied with my progress. I feel like so many things are exactly the same as this time last year: my job, my daily life, even my divorce. Now, there are some things that have changed, drastically, and for the better ... but in some ways, those only emphasize, for me, the things that haven't.

Ah well, the feeling will probably pass.

Let's hope it does that because of some tangible progress, rather than just apathy.

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Oh, I realize that, as a human experience, it's nothing new.

It's just making me angry, and there's nowhere for that to go, right now. Except to struggle not to take it out on my friends.

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Mark, maybe you should give yourself a break. Be gentle with you. Irritability happens sometimes to all of us. Let's think about why you're feeling down rather than worry about the possibility that any of us might take issue with your moods. Can you think of any particular reason why all of this has cropped up now?

There have been improvements and these improvements have apparently brought to light what you still need to work on. Kind of like painting two walls in one room makes the other unpainted walls stand out. So nothing is actually worse. You just see it more clearly now. Changing can be very difficult because it throws off your balance. Even the good stuff can be uncomfortable at times. It's a process and one that you have to work through bit by bit. Maybe this is just one step along the path. I'm babbling on here...

At any rate, I hope the sad feelings pass soon.

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Yep. :-)

{And now I'm going to answer you before you ask, just to show what a great guy I am.

I was having some car trouble, but it's under warranty, so I took it to the shop and went to work in the rental car provided by the warranty. They've already called to say that the problem is covered by the warranty, and it'll be ready tomorrow.

So, I'm doing pretty well, so far, just had to get up at an ungodly hour and I have therapy tonight. But at least I don't feel like I'm standing still, today. Instead, I'm running around.

Luckily, so far, it's working.} :-)

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