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I have returned because the time has come for me to start doing school visits and I am properly freaking out. I am not a public speaker at all. I get nervous when all the attention is on me and I'm expected to say something smart and relevant.

Should I speak to my manager about this or see what happens first the speak to the manager afterwards? Please advise.

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2 hours ago, Resolute said:

hey, man! where've you been? did you delete your account too?

in regards to your situation, if you can try it once or twice, then decide, that might be best.

anyway, good to see you again.

Hey Res. I've been lurking and yes I did have my account deleted. 

My manager called me in to speak to me and while in her office I admitted that punlic speaking is not really my thing (I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing.?). She seemed understanding aboutique it though.

She offered to help if I require some assistance but I don't think I can get the assistance in need from her. Anyway I'm going to do it. If I screw then so be it. ?

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I do public speaking frequently, but have immediate family who are incredibly shy and are literally frightened by it so I have some experience helping them. Lots of people struggle with public speaking so you are not alone at all.  I have a couple of suggestions. 

First, I would mention to your manager that speaking in front of people is difficult for you, but you are going to do the best you can. I say mention, because try to make it a comment in casual conversation. What you are trying to tell him is that public speaking is difficult for you, but you are willing to do it and will do the best you can. As a manager, he should appreciate that you are not asking to get out of it and are willing to do something you don't like for the job. Plus, it will give him more realistic expectations. 

Second, practice, practice, practice, and more practice. If you know what you are suppose to say, practice in front of a mirror a lot. The more prepared you are, the more comfortable you will be. Believe me, I know this works. If you are simply answering questions, try and predict what questions might come up and practice answering them.  

Third, find a relaxing technique that works for you. One example I use is to take long deep breaths, it will literally slow your heart rate and help you calm down. Some people fake yawn, as it tends to naturally calm you down. Some people find an object in the room (a poster on the wall, a door knob, etc) to look at when they feel too nervous so they don't have to look at people's faces. Finding an object just above people's heads is a good way to make it look like you are looking at the audience without actually looking at them.  A different one that works really well for me is to try and tell myself I like being nervous. Sounds weird, but it really works for me. When I start getting really nervous, I literally force myself to smile and tell myself that I'm glad I'm nervous because that means I'm about to do something I care about and that I will remember. I try and convince myself I like being nervous. The feeling still sucks, but for some reason, telling myself I like it makes me feel better. 

Best of luck. everyone is a little different so just find what works best for you. 

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I was unable to pull myself together and had to rely on a current student of ours to present a school that I WORK for. And she seemed thrilled about it. I even offered her a way out but she insisted she wants to present. Should the manager hear about this, and she likely will, I'm going to be in the biggest load of shit because I'm practicaly showing myself to be to be ill-equipped for the job.  

 

I got paid today including incentives from previous sales and I'm sick to my stomach. I feel like I don't deserve the money. I felt out of my depth. Highly qualified people, professionals,  freaking pilots ando charted accountants, artists and motivational speakers stood up there and spoke on important issues. I had no chance. ?

Sorry for wasting your efforts to assist me guys. 

 

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11 hours ago, Resolute said:

hey man don't be so hard on yourself. this can happen to anyone. i'm sure you worked hard and earned that money, so stop feeling guilty. :sad_huggy:

anyway, i hope things go better next time. :)

Thanks Res. I felt like a loser, again, which is a general feeling I've had to battle for as long as I can remember. 

I'll keep you guys updated. There will be plenty of "next times".

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On Sunday, April 24, 2016 at 0:01 PM, Resolute said:

unfortunately, you're not the only one who constantly feels like a loser.

Well, I don't know what to say guy. I'm sorry you are battling with that too. 

Feeling slightly better today, though my mind is not at work with me. 

 

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Resolute is correct, no need to be so hard on yourself. The incentives for previous sales tells me something already. I strongly encourage you not to panic about this, it happens more than you realize. 

You mentioned the other speakers. For one, most if not all of them were probably nervous as well. I speak in front of groups all the time and feel sick to my stomach almost every time. People don't know that because I fake it. 

Explain to your manager that you gave a student a great opportunity to speak on a subject she is learning about. 

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