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Doubt anybody can help but lets try


Horriblehumanbeing
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>26

> Black Female

> Lives with mom and siblings

>Was in a five year relationship (engaged most throughout) with a abusive cheating dickhead who was lowkey racist and bigot

>He broke it off with me  two months after he threw a chair then hit me in my face

> Stalked/Harrased me for Three years after the break up (recently his wife told me she wanted to  kill me after she called me ugly this happen in January of this year ) 

> Even though its been about three going on four years i still haven fully recovered

> I been having nightmares

> been even more suicidal lately 

> Health been on a up and down yo-yo do to this 

>Tried reaching out to other sites like 7cups of tea and the suicide hotline BOTH HAS MADE ME EVEN MORE DEPRESSED!

> Friends One moved to the south part of my state One i cant trust that well  and the last has her own mental problems  plus is hard to get in touch with 

> been dissociating feeling not real and not alive 

>Panic whenever i go outside longer than 20 min 

> Lost intrest in alot of things. 

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Hello, welcome! 

May I ask you how people on the other sites reacted to your posts and how it made you more depressed? I'd like to know, because I would really want not to repeat the same mistakes.

Are you safe now? Except from what happened this January, are you already free from this man or do you still fear him - is that fear part of your problems?

Also; have you tried to find a professional help? A psychotherapist, psychiatrist, counsellor, ...? (There is also another impressive method for treating PTSD, different from psychotherapy: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eye_movement_desensitization_and_reprocessing Perhaps it's worth checking its availability (?).)

Take care and keep posting! (We'll try our best not to make you feel worse...)

 

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Welcome to the community. I'm sorry you have been through such a painful experience. :( This type of abuse and feeling unsafe over a period of time can cause the type of symptoms you have been experiencing. I also wonder if you have spoken with a professional about your struggles? Is your family supportive?

Are you able to soothe yourself with any calming acitivites? How is your self talk and self care at this time? I hope you can listen to your needs and stand with yourself now. Be gentle with yourself, if you can. We are here to listen and support you. I hope today is serene for you.

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13 hours ago, LaLa said:

Hello, welcome! 

May I ask you how people on the other sites reacted to your posts and how it made you more depressed? I'd like to know, because I would really want not to repeat the same mistakes.

Are you safe now? Except from what happened this January, are you already free from this man or do you still fear him - is that fear part of your problems?

Also; have you tried to find a professional help? A psychotherapist, psychiatrist, counsellor, ...? (There is also another impressive method for treating PTSD, different from psychotherapy: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eye_movement_desensitization_and_reprocessing Perhaps it's worth checking its availability (?).)

Take care and keep posting! (We'll try our best not to make you feel worse...)

 

Had to go to a councler in high school and they blamed me for ever thing wrong in my life 

Yes i fear him to this very day 

Im physically safe mentally i don't feel safe

I tryed to do concleling after the break up but i really didn't help much

 

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8 hours ago, killer said:

Had to go to a councler in high school and they blamed me for ever thing wrong in my life 

I'm sorry you've been so unlucky that the counsellors you saw were unhelpful and probably (at least the 1st one!) quite incompetent :( ... But this doesn't mean others are "as bad", too! Sometimes it takes time to find a good therapist, but it's definitely worth the effort.

I'm glad to hear you're at least physically safe. That's "the basis" thanks to witch you're in a much better position to get help for your fears, depression, panic, and all other mental issues.

On 11/17/2016 at 3:58 AM, killer said:

Friends One moved to the south part of my state One i cant trust that well  and the last has her own mental problems  plus is hard to get in touch with

Do you communicate with the one who moved? And couldn't you be mutually helpful and / or supportive with the 3rd one mentioned?  You don't have to actually meet in person to "receive and give the benefits of friendship", do you?

 

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1 hour ago, LaLa said:

I'm sorry you've been so unlucky that the counsellors you saw were unhelpful and probably (at least the 1st one!) quite incompetent :( ... But this doesn't mean others are "as bad", too! Sometimes it takes time to find a good therapist, but it's definitely worth the effort.

I'm glad to hear you're at least physically safe. That's "the basis" thanks to witch you're in a much better position to get help for your fears, depression, panic, and all other mental issues.

Do you communicate with the one who moved? And couldn't you be mutually helpful and / or supportive with the 3rd one mentioned?  You don't have to actually meet in person to "receive and give the benefits of friendship", do you?

 

She hard to get in touch with and i have when she  online. other than that she is busy with family and is rarely online. 

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