Dissociation.. really need some help

[Elzbth]

Hi all, I'm having a really rough go and was wondering if anyone could give me some advice.

I'm 24. In college for the first time this year. I was super excited to go to school and get an apartment with my boyfriend who I have loved very much from the first day. (Left my fiancé because I couldn't get my current boyfriend out if my head.)

So the night before we moved I was pretty stressed about the move and being 3 hours away from everyone I knew and leaving my car behind, etc. I went to sleep.

And I woke up last Saturday night.

It's been 4 months.

I have no recollection of anything I've said or done since moving here.

I happened to come out of my Dissociation right as my boyfriend was breaking up with me.

Now after explaining that I don't remember anything, he's been super supportive and helpful.

I had this glimmer of hope that whatever damage I had caused could be fixed.

He just told me tonight that I had emotionally cheated on him with someone from my past (who was purely a friend) and I'm so confused and hurt and angry at myself. I would never ever cheat on him.

Now I don't know what to do, how to fix things,  how to prevent my Dissociation, etc

If anyone has any similar experiences or any advice, I would really appreciate it.

I haven't slept more than two hours a night in a week and I can't stomach any food without puking it back up.

[LaLa]

Hello, El, welcome!

My main thought is that you should see some doctors first, to examine if there wasn't a pathophysiological (=not 'mental') cause of what happened. Even if not, a professional should help you at least with your sleeping and eating problems.

I hope you'll get help soon...

Take care!

[malign]

I agree with LaLa:  first stop is a doctor, maybe more than one.  You need stability and support from people who know how to help you.

If the dissociation was a reaction to stress, it's important to reduce your stress as much as possible.  Losing large amounts of sleep alone can induce fairly severe symptoms.

On the brighter side, I don't think you just "happened to come out of it" at the last minute possible to save your relationship.  This-you wanted to save it badly enough that she came back when she had to.  There's hope there that you can use on the road to becoming whole again.

Good luck, and keep talking.

[Victimorthecrime]

I don't understand but I wish you well and encourage you to seek help if needed. Nearly every college has a counseling center and they can either help you or triage you to the appropriate level of care.