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Vague thoughts


OnlyHuman
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Hello out there.  I'm struggling.  Not in a big way but enough to get in life's way.  Funny how when you have an emptiness within you, it feels so so heavy.  Keeps you up at night, a mangled ball in the pit of your stomach, and you just cry and cry - you can't identify it, you don't know why, or how to fix it.  And then you find yourself on a website trying to make sense of it all,  to make sense of yourself.  Wondering if anyone out there feels the way I do.  

Ive had an eventful life and in attempt to make sense of it, it's caused me more harm than healing.  I still find myself in a battle between what I know and what I feel.  How is it that I can recieve all this help but still be so confused and so broken?

I know I'm being pretty vague here - public forums always make me squirm.  Don't know what to say, what not to say but I reckon the general idea is out there, yeah?

I'm not really sure what I'm looking for by coming here.  I never really seem to know.  The only thing I do know is that I search it out when I need people around and it usually makes me feel a little less alone.  

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It's good to hear from you, OH, though I wish the circumstances were different.

I feel something similar to what you described during grief. Does it help to sit with the feeling and listen to your needs? Sometimes I wonder if fixing things may not always be an option, but rather feelings become more bearable if we let them flow and care for ourselves through it. Meh... I don't know either, but I hear you that it's difficult. :(

Does therapy feel more harmful than it is helpful? Maybe you also need some space to breathe or possibly healing takes more time?

We're here listening. Sending you comfort and care.

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6 hours ago, OnlyHuman said:

Ive had an eventful life and in attempt to make sense of it, i

Who says you have to make sense of it?   I imagine most people would tell ya they've had an eventful life - can any of them make sense of it?   Think about all the horrible stuff that happens to most of us growing up.  How can we possibly understand these nasty vile adults & other children?  And if we could, to what end?   I say just forgive yourself, forgive others to the extent possible and move on w life.  Enjoy each day w gratitude for all good things and good possible outcomes if we begin to embrace positive change, whatever that may mean for us.  

Just sharing my thoughts and what works for me.  

Best wishes OnlyHuman 🙂

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"Wondering if anyone else out there feels the way I do."  Pink Floyd did.  I think everyone who has replied has.  The responses sound to me like each person's attempt to give you what they use for support when it happens to them.  The thing with needing people around is that we're all so different ...

You said you don't know what you look for, here.  Maybe you can feel what you're looking for?  They don't have to be opposites, they can be best buddies who each see a different half of the picture.

You're not alone.

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