My mom and other authority figures

[GoldenBoyX]

It's so tempting to just want to blame so many people. Like the obvious ones like school bullies and cruel girls and the constant man shaming and small pdnis jokes in media.

I am wondering though how much authority figures in my life also added on to this complex for me. My mom used to joke about men and size and would constantly use me as an outlet to rant to me about her frustration with my dad, including some pretty bleak views of how sex was for her, or she assumed all women. She did it in this way like it was a gender team sport and how I should know men aren't very good at it but there was this constant undertone of me being my father's son like that was disappointing or something. Hard to describe. But she joked once asking me cuz I had been in locker rooms if certain stereotypes about other kinds of guys were true which made me feel self conscious. Then as a teen I discovered in her night table behind the pad for taking notes for the phone she had a whole bunch of little vibrators and a vibrating dildo that became a benchmark for comparing. I wondered if she knew about me or if my dad was the same but she clearly felt fine joking about it and making jokes about guys being not endowed and I'm sure it added to my complex. 

Oh and then there was a woman teacher I had in high school who made a really searing burning joke about this obnoxious kid in my class probably having a small dick and it made me wonder what she thought about me. Knowing even teachers were ok making fun of small dicks hurt 

 

Were these just unusual or did omments from authority figures contribute for others as well?

[jojojojo]

No same here. Its tarted as my mom seeing me naked swimming in the summer and telling its ok it'll get bigger. That over the years moved to jokes about my size. It hurt bad because she didnt mean harm but made me feel even smaller. I think in my case she is a big part of where my shame/depression/fetishes come from. Those jokes cut to the core and i think are what fuled my need for humiliation later in life. I know that true in part because thats when i first started to enjoy it. Even though just while masturbating. Her frequent joking about my size i would think makes up a sizeable chunck of my early sps issues. 

[Shrimp Fried Life]

Same here. My mom was the first person to "joke" about me being small. Then I found out she told a friend of hers too. Didn't effect me too much at the time but it planted a seed in my brain that grew over the years.

Then my first girlfriend told my friends. Fortunately we had few common friends. Then there's living with the constant jokes etc in society. It's pretty obvious that most women really don't give a damn. In fact I think they kind of enjoy making guys with small dicks feel like shit.