Intrusive thoughts

[Whitechicken25]

I have ocd intrusion and its driving me crazy I can't focus in school and I have to do things over again ive had this for so long and I want it gone please help

[LaLa]

Hello and welcome!  

Yes, OCD can be very distressing  ... But it's one of the mental disorders that are among the easiest to heal; the best is a combination of the right medication (for finding it, one sometimes has to try a few of them) and psychotherapy.

You mention school, so the first place where to ask for help would be the school counsellor / psychologist. Also, if you're in the US, here are some potentially useful links, you can probably find more:

https://www.buzzfeed.com/annaborges/affordable-therapy

https://www.moneyunder30.com/affordable-therapy

https://www.healthline.com/health/therapy-for-every-budget

Have you already seen posts about OCD on this forum? Perhaps you'll find some helpful insights there, too.

For instance:

http://www.mentalsupportcommunity.net/topic/10325-just-something-about-ocd/

http://www.mentalsupportcommunity.net/topic/10958-article-understanding-fear-of-guilt-key-in-better-treating-ocd/?tab=comments#comment-134754

Good luck; take care!

Edited November 9, 2018 by LaLa

[m.allen]

Hey, sorry this reply is so late.

I suffer from OCD as well and can relate to how frustrating it is, especially when you have a lot to do. I can find myself sucked down into thinking loops or obsessively worrying about things that are so incredibly unlikely that it's absurd I even worry.
I will say, what I have learned after years with it, is that the more you reassure yourself, the stronger of a hold it will have on you. In the end, OCD is based in fear. It's the fear that exists in doubt: 'did i turn off the stove?' 'what if that object I just stepped on was a needle?' 'what if this disturbing thought I had means I'm terrible?' etc.
OCD is addiction to the feeling of reassuring yourself, either physically (hand washing, etc) or mentally (reassuring). Once you relieve your fears, you feel good... for a time. But then your OCD is triggered again, and you have to repeat the loop because you're unsure. Your brain is falling into cyclical thinking of reassurance because sitting with the uncertainty is uncomfortable. It's a terrible sickening feeling to not act or try to address the thing that terrifies you, the thing that is causing you uncertainty, the thing that is motivating you to do X because what if Y.
But that's what you have to do. It's incredibly difficult, but you have to let the uncertainty be. Let the fear be. Accept it. If you don't, you only feed the beast in your mind. You're making it stronger every time you give in for that moment of relief.
What I find works at first is to delay. My OCD is mostly mental (Pure O), and when I get a soul crushing disturbing thought coming in that I worry is real, I tell myself 'ok, I'll remember this and think about it later.' It often ruins my day to have a disturbing thought and put it off until later. But I find the more I do that, the less the horrible feeling has a hold on me. And the next time it happens, as it most certainly will, I can cope with it better. Eventually, you'll start to see patterns (if you haven't already) in what thoughts you are putting off until later. I feel confident in saying that it will be the same things over and over until that thing loses it's hold on you, and then it will move on to something else.
But if you can initially put off reassuring yourself, then work your way to not reassuring yourself at all - that's when you win. It's a long, hard road, but it's your life and you can't let fear take control of it. In time, this method will let you take the wheel again and dictate what you'll allow your mind to ruminate on and when.
Hope this finds you well and all the best. OCD sucks and it's hard work to control. But it can be manageable and you can live a great life. OCD can even be a benefit if you turn it towards productive things - like eating well, exercise, work, creative pursuits, etc. Plus, people with OCD are usually above average intelligence, so there's that...
Anyway, I hope that you can pull yourself out of it. I still struggle myself, but my ability to handle it is far better than it used to be.