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Positive Developments


goose
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I went into the city on Saturday - challenging 3 of my 'phobias' ,(1) shopping, (2) going into the city (haven't gone there in 2 years) and (3) shopping with my daughter (she is a shopaholic and this brings my anxiety off the scale).

Anyhow we drove in, don't like public transport - an exposure for another day.

I felt ok walking around the city, not too many people around.

Going into the shops was difficult, but I did it. We spent less than 2 hours shopping but I am very pleased to have done it and feel I would be less anxious about doing it again.

In nearly 20 years of working I have only socialized with my work collegues once - always found an excuse to avoid. A lady I am very fond of is retiring next week so my friend and I suggested meeting her for lunch (in the canteen). Then my friend had the idea that we would go outside the hospital to a local pub for lunch :eek::eek::eek:. Had a very strong desire to avoid this, but knew I couldn't. In the end it went well, I actually surprised myself and enjoyed it.

All in all a good week so far.

Goose

Edited by goose
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Way to go Goose!!!!!!!!!!:) That took some guts, you did it and now you have taken a strong step forward and added a notch to your belt.

Can you remember what self talk you had to do to maintain the courage? What were the statements and things you said and did to make this a positive development.

Again, excellent work. We rarely champion those that take a giant step, so from me-- bien echo (Well done) young Jeti!

David

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Thanks for that David,

Well in relation to the shopping I would not refuse such a request from my daughter no matter how difficult it is. I want my children to think well of me - and I am deliberatly not using the 'w##k' word cause malign will only give out to me :).

Seriously my Therapist explained and demonstrated to me the effects of over-breathing (taking too much oxygen) and how it can make you lightheaded. So I was very aware of my breathing and tried to control it the best I could. My fear in shops is of fainting or collapsing and becoming the centre of attention. I can rationalize now that in my 46 years this has never happened to me, and if it did sure the people looking at me have enough going on in their own lives, what happens to me is no big deal to them, they will only be sympathetic and helpful.

As regards socializing I no longer believe that I can't think of things to say, but with practice I will get better at small talk.

Goose

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Ah, goosey,

That entire suite of activities that you did even though you were scared just prove my point. :-) To borrow David's Jedi reference, the Demented Bunny is strong with this one.

(And yes, if you're not a Star Wars fan, that means next to nothing, I know.)

You should be patting yourself on the back, assuming you won't break a wing in the process.

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Yeah I'm familiar with Star Wars - saw The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi years ago. My 13 year old son has the full box set - and was also fond of playing Lego Star Wars on the computer. (can't understand why the numbering has to be backward though).

One of these day I will start to believe that I am strong. :)

Goose

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Just watch your daughter: all you really need to believe is that you are, warts and all. "Hey world, this is me, whether you like it or not."

We only need strength when we believe we have weakness.

[Maybe I really should become an inspirational speaker. Or a bumper-sticker manufacturer.]

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One of these day I will start to believe that I am strong. :) Goose

Ahh young Jedi (or Demented Bunny).... one does not have to believe they are strong to be strong, one need only behave as if they were and the belief will follow! Act as if it is impossible to fail-- this was my mantra for years and the more times I succeeded, as you did yesterday, the greater your odds of coming to believe.

“For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don't believe, no proof is possible.”-- you're about to change the 2nd part of this axiom!

Good luck! We're pulling for you.

Edited by David O
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  • 2 weeks later...
The Force is with you, always.
Goose--- you are your own force!!! You create, use, channel, bring back, release, loan it to others.... you are your own force and don't let anyone (even yourself) convince you otherwise. My wife has bigger testicles :eek:than I do and the reason she does is b/c she uses them (she's an attorney) daily.

Now, go out and use this "power" for good and you'll grow a pair:eek: :eek:

PS1: No animals were hurt in this post. I hope no-one was offended by my slightly sick humor.

PS2: That new avatar-- I like it. Now practice changing it every few days. Always choosing an Avatar that pushes you slightly ahead of where you are. Buene exito!

Edited by David O
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I am very good at using the power in work. My confidence is at an all-time high there. I am particulary proud of what I did on Friday, persuading a gentleman not to abscond, he needed in-patient treatment. I strongly suspect he was an illegal immigrant, it took him a while to trust me.

Now ask me to say hello to a stranger in the street and I am a quivering mess.

Goose

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If nothing else I will learn some Spanish from this forum:D

The people in the village where I live are quite friendly and would be inclined to say hello as they pass you by - I just need to have the courage to add to this, something simple like "nice day" or more typically "horrible weather isn't it".

Slán go foill;)

Goose

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You could find six people in one bar, goosey. ;-)

I long ago gave up on Scots Gaelic (I do know what a 'ceilidh' is); I was trying to find words in Gailige. Do you speak it at home? I understand that's fairly rare, these days.

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Can't believe I spelt Gaeilge wrong. That is an indication of how bad I am, no we don't speak it at home. I do have to help my 13 year old with his Irish homework, he struggles with it. He would dearly love an exemption from Irish, he would be entitled as he is dyslexic, but his pleas are falling on deaf ears at the moment (mine in particular - cause he is not really that bad).

Maybe the 'Demented Bunnies' should have a Ceile, and all come dressed in green or tartan.:)

Goose

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you're lucky you didn't go... :) it's horrible.... i got sent there 3 summers ago and it was torture!!! yeah, it's really really strict. i think ya get about 3 warnings and then you're sent home. i was really hopeless at speaking irish so i stayed silent and i couldn't talk to anyone for the whole 3 weeks. it was awful. some people really like it though. just not me:p

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Ok I'm struggling with this. No chance of meeting strangers if I won't leave the house:(. I need a better reason to go for my walks other than the fact that my T (and David) will be disappointed in me if I don't.

I've gone to work and done my 'mom taxi' duties. The walk is always the first thing that falls by the wayside when I get low.

Goose

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