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Will These Feelings Ever Just End


SweetSue
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I feel such a idiot, you know. I try to stay positive. I keep telling myself that i can get through today, That its easy, what is all the fuss about. Try and force myself to smile my way along this road. That im making a big deal over nothing

But I dont believe me, It feels like im just being sarcastic to myself. I feel like the biggest joke around, and that people are laughing at me. And i am struggling to see what is so funny, i cant cope. Am i always going to feel like this, is there a way out of this ?

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Jj I can remember a time when I was always under or in the water, so to speak. Then one day I had a teensy tiny piece of ground to stand on-- it was smaller than my feet, but it was dry ground below me and I could stand.

What you are doing is building your dry ground to stand on. Day by day. Before, you've had WAYYY too much negativity to build your ground in life. Even now it is VERY hard. But little by little, and not all by yourself--- let yourself have friends--- day by day, build your safety, build your ground, Jj. It will not always be this hard. :). Keep letting us know how we can help:o

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Thanks finding, your words, are encouraging.

I think that maybe im just so exhausted of feeling this way, and it feels like its never going to end. Searching for the way out, is so frustrating, and so hard. I'm not giving up, or at least i dont think i am. I just need to find the answers, so that i can continue this journey of mine.

I guess its only difficult coz im searching answers when i dont understand the questions. I feel im just loosing the way, and havnt got a clue which way im meant to go, or how im going to get there.

Im just drained, exhausted and so tired of feeling like this.

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One of my favorite quotes - things that are simple are definitely not easy. What you are battling to do is just that - a daily battle. I recently adopted a dog who had been severely traumatized. She is a great reminder to me how long it takes to heal and how much support she needs to do this. She has been with me for about 3 weeks now and she is just now starting to approach me (albeit very cautiously) rather than me seeking out her to give her love and support. Her learning to trust me will take months and it is not easy for her. We for some reason think we should be able to just snap out of things, but this is not realistic. Keep up the fight, you are making progress, you are strong and you will make it.

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Thankyou mabear,

I wish that i could just "snap out of it" i guess your right, I had a relatively good day the other day and i think now that im having yet more bad days, it just feels like that im not moving forward any longer,

Thankz for your on going kindness and support, i really apprieciate it.

Take care

Jj

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I think that when moving forward, there may be some times where motion stops before it begins once again. Getting well is challenging and some days will likely be harder than others. But what I hear from you is determination and courage. When you look down the path that might in that moment appear rather darkened, think of the four precious sets of eyes that await you when you are well again. And the joy you feel in loving them will give you the strength to see your way through. I believe in that. I hope that you do too.

JJ, are you able to communicate with your doctors by writing? I really hope so. A connection with a therapist can be very healing.

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Good morning Sue,

Two things always seemed to follow my severe PTSD, one was anxiety (only comes out at night when I have to close my eyes) and depression (for not being able to erase the memories and trauma). There were weekends that putting my clothes on was a chore, or facing the world. But being a severe extrovert, I knew I needed people to energize me, otherwise I'd sink. I've not felt the deep anxiety and depression in years, but do remember the sense of helplessnes and hopelessness that came with it.

Sue, are you currently in the hospital? How long have you been there? Do they have you on meds and what are they (including dose)? How often do you see your family, especially the four little ones (I know they're no longer with you)? Are you involved in talking or some form of expressive therapy on a daily or regular basis and if so, what type is it? In psychiatric language, have they told you (you can ask, of course) is you have non-situational or endogenous depression, as against situational, reactive depression? What other, if any, diagnosis do they say you may have?

Edited by David O
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hey Sue,

I'd be suffering from "me syndrome" too if my world had shrunk and I lived in a space the size of a room, a cafeteria, art room, therapy room, dayroom and a hallway every day:D!

Water thingy--- I think we should pan it for now. We'll talk this weekend.

Edited by David O
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