wasting my youth

[iwish6]

Hey everyone im here in hopes of getting over my small stature. Idk perhaps explaining my problems with people with related these related issues will help me and perhaps you as well (idk).

first of all, Ive felt that that I was slightly undersized compared to the average (when flaccid and erect) during the last two years of highschool (where we continued to use lockerooms to change/shower). Ive recently done research (a lot) to become as knowledgeable as possible on this issue (hours and hours worth). I am 19 yrs old with a 4-4.5 hard on (4 in girth) and a 2.5-3 in flaccid (3 inch girth). ive done the measurements and is quite frankly pissed off and sad. I know there are guys much smaller than me but honestly knowing this doesn’t make me feel anybetter.

I have a girlfriend but we havnt had sex yet (both virgins). I know shes atleast seen two other dicks before me (and I know they were bigger than mine but by how much idk). were in love but im completely afraid I wont be able to satisfy her in bed. I know im able to satisfy her with my tounge and hands (I have already have) but im just concerned with the intercourse part and i think this is whats holding me back. I also don’t want her talking to her friends about it (which most girls prob do) or saying my size to a friend that thinks it would be small (which it is). I know she wont tease me about it but just knowing that she will only know what a small one feels like (as long as shes with me) is what gets to me. I believe im preety much going through the basic stages of depression right now. I know I shouldn’t care about my penis size and “it’s the motion of the ocean that counts” but I don’t have length or girth.

Ive always felt that my penis would grow during puberty, but in my case it hasn’t grown much at all. Ive had numerous growth spurts during middle school and highschool but really didn’t notice any change in penis growth. Everything seemed okay with size and all during middle school when I remember comparing size with everyone else in the locker room. In fact id say mine was above average during that time…but since then not much has happened. Idont think my problem is genetic since my not much older brother and dad have bigger schlongs than i. my bro has atleast 6 inches and I know my dad is bigger (im positive..dont worry about it). Ive stopped growing height wise but is still growing hair on my chest…does this mean im still going through puberty? And my penis might grow more?

ive always felt that I would be an excellent lover but is beginning to think otherwise due to my lack in size (intercourse is the most important out of all sexual aspects). Ive been getting really depressed lately…with the usually feelings of lifelessness and I feel as if I have to constantly check below the belt to see the size. Imsomnia, and not eating as much is also other symptoms that is occurring. It seems that the only thing on my mind these days is concerns of my size. I feel as if no matter how much I am charming, loving, caring, or whatever I will not be good enuff because of my 4 in dick. the fact that I preety much cant do anything about it is whats getting to me. with almost anything else in life I am able to control. Im skinny but ive always felt that I could get bigger by lifting weights or eating more. Not to be conceded but im preety good looking with almost every girl considering me to be “cute” (not to be concede or anything!). ive been able to pick up a lot of girls but didn’t go anywhere with them as far as with my current gf (only girl that has seen my penis). The size of my penis is something that I cannot control and it is something that I am going to have to come to terms with but I havnt yet and its making me go crazy!

Maybe if I was more girthy I wouldn’t care about length, but im both short and not girthy. Im going to have to find some snug fit condoms or something bc I wouldn’t want the condom coming off during sex (if we ever do). I love my girlfriend very much and I know she loves me. I just hope this doesn’t get in the way of our growing relationship. If we end up breaking up later down the road for unknown reasons i m positive I wont find a better looking, more loving gf than I have no (shes my one in a billion). I just might stay single for the rest of my life if we end up breaking up. Why did God make me this way idk? maybe I should talk to a priest about this stuff (not kidding). I don’t want to see a therapist (too much money, embarassement, and the possible notififying my parents.

These are my almost complete thoughts on this subject and where I stand. I hope I will get some positive feedback on this topic. Its really getting me down and has been affecting my personal life and school life. I believe im beginning to have erectile dysfunction because of my issue..fcuk. what to do? Got to get over it. This is the way the big man upstairs made me. perhaps some positive stories of guys with the same sized shlong being able to pleasure their gf’s or wives would help.

[iwish6]

i am visiting my doctor tomorrow because i have a fever. should i bring this topic up? if so, are there any specific questions i should ask him? is there any hope for it to enlarge? or am i just stuck with it?

-thanks, 19 year old suffering...

[Recluse]

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Edited January 11, 2010 by Recluse

[Recluse]

There currently are no safe enlargement techniques out there, I will be the first one on the operating table once there are.

[iwish6]

hey recluse. sadly, your story put me to tears. up untill now ive been mostly satisfied with my life. ive always was able to look at the bright side of things. i never imagined that something physically about me would put me into such a great state of depression. ive never thought of my member as something extremely small, but now with all this talk about people being rediculed about being 4 inch im beginning to think that i am unaturally small. i never imagined i would talk about issues on these forums in my life, but i find them very helpfull when you have really knowone to turn to.s

i appreciate you commenting back and to hear your story. i imagine you as an older me. i will not let it get to me. i cant. i will use my mental strength to block out the thoughts of inadequecy and become the lover my girlfriend wants. the size isnt an issue to me but it affects me because i want my girlfriend to enjoy intercourse and im not sure if its possible.

i know you have been dealing with this issue for a lot longer than i have but i believe you will find someone that you love and loves you just as much in return. dont give up hope man.

the only reason why i would like to talk to a preist is so that he can reassure me that other things matter in life..to not be so kept up on something so small and that there is a greater power to think about.

i would like to discuss more on your life, past, how you cope, what are your hopes for the future. youre a goodlooking guy like myself...we can get through this. we have to.

[Recluse]

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Edited November 13, 2009 by Recluse

[iwish6]

recluse i have more questions (maybe personal ques to your standards idk). i see you as someone that is very knowledgable about our situation. the only diff is that you are older and knows what to expect and how to deal with it. i greatly appreciate you words of wisdom as i find that it is helping me already. it is changing my view on how i see the situation. do you mind the questions?

[Recluse]

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Edited January 11, 2010 by Recluse

[iwish6]

alright thanks man. ifeel like i need to get this problem solved mentally before i can actually continue on with my life. college was going well before this happened. motivated to get good grades and what not, but i havnt been keeping up with hmwork since. i believe these conversations are sort of like a mini therapy session...but only better since therapists prob wouldnt know what were going through and how it affects us.

feel free to not answer any of the following ques.

are you still looking for a girlfriend?

do you still think about your size everyday?

have you told your family about the issue?

have you seen a therapist?

what made you want to go back to college?

how did the hookers react when you had sex w/them?

what was the deepest relationship youve had witha girl?

how depressed were you?

[Recluse]

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Edited January 11, 2010 by Recluse

[iwish6]

since you stopped looking for a gf at 15 are you done looking for a relationship?

idk if this will help but maybe the next time you see a hooker..instead of just using her as a source for pleasure maybe yu can tell her your situation and ask her to help you out...ask her what workks/feels good. to me it wouldnt matter if she laughed since she is a hooker and i wouldnt give a fcuk...laugh if you want. idk you. thats what i would say or think.

are you religious?

where can i get erection pills (like viagra) other than at the doctors? (dont want to be billed in front of family or something).

ive never been teased about my size before. ive even told my close friends that i have a small one (except i say that i have a 5 incher). and they didnt tease me. cmon half an in. but girth is what matters.

when you had sex withthe hooker did you use a condom? did it slip off?

fcuk i would be mordified if that happened to me and my gf. i tried prac with sum from the store and they seem kinda loose. i wacked off with it on to see if it would come off but it didnt. thats why im asking.

how often did you masturbate when you were younger? and currently?

[iwish6]

anyone reading this who also suffers from the same fate...i would like to hear your story and how you are doing. i believe the more we talk about it the more we will cope with the fact...for now. lets get over this and move on please.

[Recluse]

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Edited January 11, 2010 by Recluse

[iwish6]

i wonder if i just stop whacking off will my boner be naturally harder and would it compensate for the fear that i have?

i hate having this. it was never there before. iwas able to get a hard on whenever or just by thinking of girls. but ive noticed my hardon isnt as hard and it doesnt last as long these days

do you still wake up in the morning with an erection?

im against the idea of you going to thailand for hookers but once again you are in a much deeper stage of whatever than i am. thailand hookrers=higher risk of diseases.

are you still confident around girls? do they like your personality or is it just your looks?

thanks. yeah find some non prescription pills.

can girls honestly feel a 4 inch girth? i mean they have to right. its not like they have a 4 inch diameter hole open all the time right? they gotta be feeling something. it might not feel as good as a bigger one but they gotta be feeling something.

do you think i should talk to my doctor or will he just refer me to a therapist. i mean they cant really do anything except pychological stuff anyway.

what positions did you use on the hooker?

oh and you had a good point on the wanting to make money thing.

i think considering that it only came out once thats preety good...just not in her i hope.

[Recluse]

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Edited January 11, 2010 by Recluse

[iwish6]

could you tell if she actually liked it or was faking?

what position was easiest for you? which one did you like the best?

is it possible that the porn is keeping your fear existant?

whenver i hungout with my gf and we cuddled and touched i was always able to get a hard on. but the depression has never been this bad so idk if i cuold acutally last if we had sex. she is religous and goes to church atleast once a week. she has excellent morals and is a virgin. beautiful and loving thats why ii find her so special. you dont see alot of these girls out there that are untouched, beautiful, and loving. whenever she touched me though i was always confident for some reason. i actually wanted to have sex and for her to touch me. i was never shy about it. i was never shy about changing in the lockeroom either. but now things are going down hill. i need to find that confident part of me back.

im not sure how you think recuse but i appreciate you answers and i truely hope you recover. its only a state of mind. i mean people are paralyzed from the waist down and in wheel chairs yet they are able to function normally without worrying about sex to the extent that we are. we should be happy that it simply works. i think we should be confident about the size of our penises. recuse i think youve been in fear too long. i too hide my true feelings and change how i act in diff situation but i feel this is something that we cannot fear for if we stay in the state of fear we will not get better.

after these conversations i will not return to this site unless something else happens that affects me mentally. for now i am not quite healed yet. but once i am confident enuff i will stay away. i believe talking about it is good to cope but a continuance of it will only keep you in this state of mind.

i look fear in the eye and say fcuk you im not afraid. life shouldnt be this difficult. it cant revolve simply around the dong. cmon man we can do this. just elliminate everything that makes you think about size (including porn) maybe lesbian porn but comon man people might laugh learn to over come this. become the best oral sex giver and sex expert. theres gotta be something we can do. idk man all i know is that i cannot live like this anymore. i used to be fine and now im not. i have a girlfriend that loves me and i love her. i will blow her mind with everything that i have. its all about passion to me. somehow i will get over this problem. its in my mind. whenever someone puts you down or laughs at you...its in your mind. fear is in your mind. if your able to get over it you will be unstoppable. if they dump you because of our small penis...whatever fcuk them. i dont care. say that man. fear is in your head. live life without fear. problem solved. its all mental.

recuse there has to be more to life. i refuse to die thinking about my problem without enjoying the better things in life. my brain is my greatest and worst enemy...not the size of my penis. hahah once again fcuk you penis.

sorry for the rant but this is whats going on in my head

[Recluse]

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Edited January 11, 2010 by Recluse

[iwish6]

hey man i appreciate it. i hope were able to meet each other some day. maybe our paths will cross. you seem like a decent guy that just wants to be excepted. thanks for the well wishes on me and my girlfriend i too hope everything turns out well for you. idk even know you yet i am happy to have met you recuse. the information and the sharing of your personal experiences has helped me more than you can imagine. just having someone listen to you when you couldnt turn to anyone else is...tear.

i wish you the best of luck on whatever path that you take may it be your "couple decadent weeks in thailand" or a different path. i hope the rest of your journey in life gets better and i hope you find someone you love and loves you just as much. who knows maybe youll find the one you love in thailand. these things have a strange way of working themselves out.

im young but i believe i can change...not the way im made but the way i think. from this experience i have learned to accept people the way they are. to be honest ive teased people before simply by the way theye look or act, naturally i guess that is at times normal human behaviour but now i am a more excepting person. i dont feel like i should judge someone because of their features as i have major flaws myself. if this is what it took for me to realize this and come to terms with my flaws then so be it. i am not bound to let this affect my life.

i know its hard to get over and im not sure even if i will ever completely get over it but i do know i love my girlfriend and she loves me. everything else is up in the air. i can only hope she will accept me for me. period.

[iwish6]

rescuse... iknow youre not religious but i am. i have my doubts at times but i do find comfort in prayer. i will pray for you..and for all you others out there with the same problem. i know it may sound dumb but if its affecting us to this extent i believe it is worth praying for. take care man and i hope ill never have to return to this site again.

[lifeless existence]

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Edited January 10, 2010 by lifeless existence

[nearlydead]

Hi iwish6, welcome.

I am 45 yrs old, 4X4". To date I have allowed this issue to completely ruin my life, to the point of suicide after 35 yrs of feeling only hate, anger, sadness etc. Dont let yourself become like me, lifeless or Recluse.

There are a few of us on here who have the same problems, caused by similiar thoughts about our respective sizes, each of us going through the same basic hell as each other, all for slightly different reasons. None of us though have handled this problem to well.

If I could write a letter to myself as a 16 yr old it would contain the following advice.

Be the best you CAN be. You cannot change your size, it is yours for life.

Physically, keep yourself in shape, for every 30lbs of belly fat you lose a 1/4 " of length. Aerobic fitness will improve your performance and erectile quality, as will Kegels. Keep your pubic hair short.

Take advantage of all the info on the net, learn some foreplay techniques. For penetration, use the deeper positions like doggie, her legs raised high etc, there are a few just google them.

Order smaller condoms on the net and practice putting them on.

If you can get to a shrink, then do, but realise most of them go into the proffession because they are fucked up themselves in many cases.

If anyone teases you about your size, hit them immediately, because if you dont, they will think it is ok, and just carry on.

You have a physical problem that is causing you mental problems. You CANNOT change your physical size. So you have to work on your brain.

However thinking positively about a physical problem is in reality only kidding yourself. The truth is this fear will haunt you for the rest of your life, the only thing you can do about it, is to be prepared mentally to accept it and not let it ruin your life as most of us on here have managed to. Do not have children and pass this curse on.

[Guest ASchwartz]

Nearlydead and others,

In my opinion, that is great advice and I support it. I always regret the suffering you guys experience and wish there were some way to relieve that suffering.

Allan

[malign]

Though I was amused by the reference to most shrinks being messed up themselves, having considered going into the field myself.

Not that it's incorrect, but that it might actually make them better shrinks!

I can hope, since I certainly qualify as (somewhat?) messed up. :-)

[Recluse]

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Edited January 11, 2010 by Recluse

[IrmaJean]

Recluse, did the advice you gave here to iwish6 feel forced? Because you are doing something positive in trying to support another on here. I wish that some of you could find a way to hear your own words and apply those lessons to your own life. It's never too late.

I suppose, Malign, that would make two of us in the "messed up" category then, since I have also considered becoming a therapist. I think just about everyone qualifies as (somewhat) messed up. Me too...