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Anyone else "celebrating" new years eve alone?


Booyakasha
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Hi.

First of all, I didn't know where to post this, but this topic seems more negative, than the other ones placed in this thread, so I appoligize, if I should have placed it elsewhere. You can move it, if you want to (and have the privelegies to do so ;-))

I was curious to know, if I'm the only one to "celebrate" new years eve alone? When I say alone, I mean totally alone!

I have only gotten one invitation, and that was for my sisters party.

She has probably (likely) invited me, because she feels sorry for me. I just don't want to be in trouble, so I will most likely stay at home.

I feel like an old widow, who would enjoy being inside, enjoying the fireworks from the window, rather than going out.

My God I would like to socialize, but I find it extremely difficult, as I have some sort of social anxiety/phobia.

Does anyone else feel like that?

EDIT: I forgot the most important part; happy new year!

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Well, Booya, I'll be alone at midnight, too, and I didn't even receive a mercy-invite. :-)

But, for me, that's okay. The people I care about don't celebrate the midnight hour, though I like to be awake to mark that moment. But for me, it's not a time for socializing, so much as thinking. So I'll be awake and they'll be asleep, and I'm okay with that.

I'm sorry that you feel left out, especially if it's something you want to do, but find difficult. What about using the occasion to dedicate yourself to socializing more throughout the year (whatever it takes to get you there), so that, this time next year, you'll be writing to us, excited about your New Year's plans?

Happy New Year to you, too, and a happier one after that.

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I'm wondering why you think your sister was feeling sorry for you when she invited you - it is perhaps your a negative inner conversation that does not reflect her intention. If you do want to be social then there is nothing that is stopping you from taking her up on your invitation. Just wondering???

I will probably be spending new years eve alone, but I don't really see what the big fuss about new years eve is anyway so I don't feel bad about it. I personally don't like big parties, and I don't drink, so I never really enjoyed those evenings anyway. My best new years eve were spent alone watching the movie 'Ghandi', an inspirational way to bring in the new year I always though, I enjoyed it. But after 5 years of doing that it sort of got old ;)

If you do choose to spend it alone, perhaps you could try to make it a special evening for yourself. A good movie, a special bath, a good meal, maybe a glass of wine. You can still make it special even if it does not turn out to be a social occasion.

Bonne année 2010!!!!

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I was in Edinburgh just before Hogmanay, what, three years ago, now? Maybe more.

But I wasn't having a good time. ;-)

It's a longish story, but I'm sure it's in my blog somewheres. My dad's an east-coast Scot, from MethilHill, in Fife.

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I'm sure most of my day will be alone. I was supposed to have my nephew with me to make up for my mother going away, but that relies on my brother coming to see me for my birthday today and I'm not banking on it.

By virtue of it being my 30th birthday, parts of the day won't be alone - it feels it though given my Pop has not long died and I had to put my dog down a few nights ago and I'm visiting my grandmother in hospital today.

I hate NYE night though and inevitably being alone. Add in the joy of everyone counting down to the end of your birthday I always try to sleep through it. But then all the people happy at parties are really loud so that's usually not possible, but I'm happy for them.

So Booyakasha, what do you have planned, to do alone that is?

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Well really Symora is right. Wether you are feelling right or wrong that she invited you out of pitty (negative self talking could be as possible as a very good instict), why don't you try to accept her invitation and prove yourself (or herself) you are feeling ok and can have a good time and be a nice company?

I hope the change of the time could take place the same...time to all of us from other areas or countries, so we could probably have a chat together and then the problem of loneliness would be solved.

As it is obvious there is a great chance I am alone too when the year changes (if I am not able to be with my boyfriend and his family I will stay alone and see him the following day), not that I feel bad about it-being alone. I like loneliness, I always have a good time with myself.

I propose to you -if you stay home- find things that make you feel nice. Think! What is your favorite dress? Your favorite music or tv programme... what do you do in your favorite time of day? What is your favorite dish? Do you like to cook? Do it with love. Do you prefer to be a princess? Use delivery. Use your good dishes forks etc. What makes you feel good, comfortable, even luxary? A good bubble bath? Soft brand new sleapers? Candles and low lighting? Perfume maybe or your blue eyeliner? Use all of them and don't think who you are doing all of these for. You and yourself are enough!

Have a great new years eve!

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Autognosy, your post gave me such a laugh. I read it hoping Booya was female. Not a male having it suggested he dress up in his favourite dress, having a bubble bath, wear nice perfume and put on blue eyeliner.

In checking I realise it says "widow" and not "widower" - could've been a blast otherwise.

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Thanks for all the replies.

I'm glad I'm not the only loner out there after all. Many of you say, that new years eve isn't really a big deal for you, where you come from, but in my country the norm is to go out with your friends and have some booze (or at least socialize). At least at my age. After all I'm only 19 years old. I may be dis-informed though.

Allthough seing all those "New years eve tomorrow - going to get so drunk" messages on Facebook and similar, just confirms my theory.

English is not my first language, so to be honest I didn't even know, there was a male term for a widow. Well, I'm a male, so I must be feeling like a widower, rather than a widow. :-)

At least I'm not going to wear any dress, perfume or eye liner for that sake. Thanks for the ideas though. ;-)

Enjoying a movie like a couple of you said you've done before NYE, seems like a good idea as well. As I mentioned before, I'd just find it ugly, not being outside socializing with others, rather than being a loner, but again. Probably because of the national norms.

As for your questions Symora, my answer would be, that it is hard for me to socialize. I feel like what I'm saying isn't really interessting for others, and if I try to tell a joke or something, peoples facial expressions shows that either I'm lame; otherwise people would take it seriously and be like, why is he saying that? Is he dumb? I don't even know why, but apperantly I'm not meant to tell jokes. In my oppinion. my jokes aren't unintelligent, like a "fart joke" would surely be.

My family tells me, that it's because they aren't getting my intelligent sense of humour, but I'm not buying it - I must have an extremely boring facial expression when telling jokes.

My mum mentioned, that my sister would be sad, if I didn't accept her invitation, but again. I have felt pretty bad lately, and she might just try to cheer me up or something.

I will be eating dinner with my sister and her boy friend anyway, so I will have a talk with them at that time.

As for your ideas malign, I have considered to either visit a psychotherapist or to join a group of people with the same issues as my self. I'm sure the last mentioned would be good for me, but it really is easier said than done.

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Autognosy, your post gave me such a laugh. I read it hoping Booya was female. Not a male having it suggested he dress up in his favourite dress, having a bubble bath, wear nice perfume and put on blue eyeliner.

In checking I realise it says "widow" and not "widower" - could've been a blast otherwise.

Haha never thought of that!

But anyway it was not a suggestion, it was an examble, so... whatever anyone is pleased with :rolleyes:

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Happy new years eve! See, not so hard and we are not alone :rolleyes: I do know what you mean though about not feeling comfortable at a party, feeling out of place. I hate that feeling! But now I try to see it differently. I don't put pressure on myself to 'be' anyone, I'm just there. If I feel like talking I do, if not I listen. Sometimes I dance, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I go outside to be alone for awhile, and then I go back. I do what I please....

I have so many people around me who think they are great at telling jokes, and you know what, they're not. But what the heck, it makes people laugh. My sister is notorious for mixing up jokes and we actually laugh 'at' her when she tries, but that has just become a family joke and there is no malicious intent and she does not take offense at it. I've found that with getting older I am more able to come out of myself and focus on other people. So I worry less now about what is going on inside of me and I just try to focus on the conversation we are having, or I ask questions and they talk, or I just watch the interactions of others. Most of the time I'm very quiet and people have gotten used to that, they have their own things going on.

So keep yourself open, don't worry too much in advance about what will happen because you can deal with anything once it does, and you can say 'I had a lovely time' and just leave the party when you are ready (you could even say that to your sister at supper, that you will stay for the party but may leave a little early). Know that you can do that and then play it by ear...

One way or the other, you are a free person and can do what you please, so whatever you choose consider it a choice and be well with that!;)

May the new year bring lots of good things your way!

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Well I got a call from my brother this afternoon inviting us over tonight. I like going to my brother's house but I am so useless at socialising. I am going to go, it will just be my 2 sisters and their families, my brother and his family and me and my youngest son. I am just absolutely hopeless at conversing with people, especially my sister's husband who I see very rarely because they live in England. It feels like torture but I am going to go.:)

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Good for you Goose! You might even enjoy yourself, and you don't have to talk to your brother in law if you are not comfortable. I find that just making them talk usually works anyway, most people love talking about themselves. Things like 'what have you been doing', 'how's work', then you just move on if it does not go anywhere.

Enjoy yourself, it will do you some good :)

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I am not sure if remaining by oneself for the New Years celebrations is negative, but if that is the case then I am negative as well. I have some work and chores to take care of and I intend to stay in. I have gone to parties on previous occasions, but I never became too attached to the custom of celebrating any holiday in particular. I often use them to do work or totally relax by myself somewhere. Besides, depending on the nature of the party, one's chances of survival may dramatically increase by not attending. I have now armed you with excuses not to go. Happiness is best shared, but I am utterly selfish! I will keep myself company :)

That said, if you have not been to very many parties, you can go see what you are missing. Just call anyone you are vaguely familiar with to see what they are up to. If they are not doing anything, then you should track down someone who is doing something and bring the people who are not doing anything along! Parties are great networking opportunities if you let them.

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well, for me , I am not the party type .Nor do I like to be around a crowd of people ..

My idea of new's yrs eve, is to spend it with my brother who has his own bar and listen to extremely loud music. However not this yr. Recovering from physcical ailmaints will keep me home , where I feel safe. Going out these days brings on sheer panic , no way am I going to set myself up for that .

Also , living in a small town, I mean dreadfully small, people tend to become too celeborty . Many love to drink , and as soon as it hit midnight , guns go off. Not my idea of a safe new yr . Drunk people firing guns into the air . Yay :)

No , I still am in the recovery phase , and certainly don't want to be caught up in the drunkeness afffair of New Yrs .

Rather be safe than sorry .

To those who are going out , please be careful and safe. To those who prefer to spend it in the comfort of their home, or alone , your never really alone . just whatever your plans are , SAfety needs to be the upmost importance.

mscat

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I'm back from my brother's house. We had a good time. It started snowing when we were there so we celebrated midnight with a big snowball fight.

My brother-in-law made a very good effort with me, talking to me and making sure I was included in the game we were playing (also putting a snowball down my back:eek:). Any how it took me an hour to drive home in the snow, but overall I'm glad I went.

Goose

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I'm "celebrating" New Years Eve, sitting on the couch in the same room as my parents, where I've all but been ordered to remain til midnight. Every 5 minutes or so there's another mini argument. I'm waiting for a big blow up. If I so much as get up to go to the bathroom or get a drink, I get a frantic where are you going? What are you doing? I wonder what 2010 will bring.

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There is still 2hrs a 5 min. left until the new yr. I am home with my son , and 2 dogs . It is quiet outside , and nice. Maybe it will stay that way, yeah right , this is the time where many folks really start to party. Not me though. I like to feel safe in the comfort of my own home. ;)

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Eventually I ended up going to my sisters party anyway.

I got some beers and some other booze and the social part went decent.

I talked a bit with some of my sisters friends. Especially as they got drunk.

I had some moments, where I felt lonely though, as I didn't feel I had much to contribute with, but overall it went fine.

I hope you all had a great night, whatever you decided to do :-)

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I had a few people over for supper, then they went out to a party and I spent the evening on-line and went to bed before the hour struck! I quite enjoyed my evening actually. The next day was busy with a big family party, so that was enough socializing for moi.

And so begins another year - I've seen so many now that this fact does not have the impact is used to have... ;)

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