How is everyone feeling?

[flander]

I still go outside. It's just depressing when there's lots of others around, so I try to find a time when things are winding down for everyone else.

[randomperson]

Hi Flander,

You need to work on diminishing that thought when you are out and about. Its very healthy to go out, see the beauty of Spring and Summer, and breath deeply. It all gets taken away when you have the thought, "I'll never be part of that," when you see couples. Talk to yourself, tell yourself, "what has that got to do with the beautiful outside?" In other words, why deprive yourself of the pleasure of the outside? Talk to yourself. Come on, give yourself a break.

Allan

This is so true and I have to remind myself of this daily. Thank you.. needed to hear it once more.

[randomperson]

For the guys on the site there is something driving women away but it isn't anything to do with the topic you think. It has a lot to do with self esteem I think. That is a common factor I share with all of you. I have the same exact issues with women to a tee. And it has nothing to do with the broader topic this thread is in. I can't even get a first date period. I don't know the solution but I think the answer lies in rebuilding our self image and knowing how women approach dating and what they truly want.

This is something the women of the community could really help us all with.

Example the rumor is women want a "good man": nice, kind, someone to love them and not cheat... that looks don't matter, that they want chivalry over everything. Might be true but it is not what attracts women around my age and younger or I would be in high demand lol instead of treated like a leper.

I need to know what I am missing, what I am doing wrong and how to fix it. Or just give up on dating and find peace with life as is.

[Notdoneyet]

I think each woman is an individual and her reasons for doing ANYTHING may well not fit a cookie-cutter mold.

I had planned to offer some encouraging word when I last came here but, alas, my discovery that my wife was in a long term affair with a guyI had always considered a "best friend" sort of made that pointless.

All I can offer to all here is that you should try to live your life to the fullest. If that means you will find lifetime companionship complete with children, fine.

If it means that you will have to go your own way and not be committed to finding marriage, then that is fine, too.

The last thing you want to do is blame yourself or your perceived, (real or imagined) shortcomings as a reason for what another person chooses to do.

Tomorrow is the 4th of July. It is also the start of the rest of my life and I plan to do as I suggest to others.

[flander]

For the guys on the site there is something driving women away but it isn't anything to do with the topic you think. It has a lot to do with self esteem I think. That is a common factor I share with all of you. I have the same exact issues with women to a tee. And it has nothing to do with the broader topic this thread is in. I can't even get a first date period. I don't know the solution but I think the answer lies in rebuilding our self image and knowing how women approach dating and what they truly want.

I think you're correct. Knowing that you're less than normal in size doesn't help in the self esteem dept, esp if a woman has been disappointed with it in the past. If nothing ever works out you start to wonder "why do I even bother" and just stay home. If you do manage to go out, you avoid women that you're attracted to because you know you're just going to fail anyway.