LonelyGuy Posted December 13, 2010 Report Share Posted December 13, 2010 So upset and frustrated about my situation and I don't know what to do about it anymore. I am so sick and tired of being alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted December 13, 2010 Author Report Share Posted December 13, 2010 Would it help to talk about it, LG? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LonelyGuy Posted December 14, 2010 Report Share Posted December 14, 2010 I'm not sure if it will help me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted December 14, 2010 Author Report Share Posted December 14, 2010 It's up to you, LG. You can express as little or as much as you feel comfortable with. I just wanted you to know that I'll always listen. I'm sorry you're hurting. Take care tonight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LonelyGuy Posted December 15, 2010 Report Share Posted December 15, 2010 Thank you Irma for your support, it would be nice to talk to someone about my problems. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted December 15, 2010 Author Report Share Posted December 15, 2010 What's on your mind? How are you feeling today? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malign Posted December 15, 2010 Report Share Posted December 15, 2010 Yeah, LG, I'm just randomly chiming in that there are lots of people here who'd want to listen respectfully to your problems and support you in any way we could. Everyone has problems, and everyone needs help, sometimes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LonelyGuy Posted December 15, 2010 Report Share Posted December 15, 2010 What's on your mind? How are you feeling today?About the same as yesterday, I have all these thoughts of shame and insecurities. I was talking to a girl i liked for a long time and i told her that i would like to be in a relationship with her someday, she said she would think about it and after over a year she accepted me but since we are a long distance from each other we never got a chance to sleep together. After a couple of months she told me she could not stay with me because she was still in love with an ex boyfriend who actually treated her badly This was a bad blow to me because i had gotten my hopes up and i thought that finally i had found someone but it wasn't real. I winder if she decided to end it with me because she found out about my penis size from someone else or if she just couldn't love me because of her ex. I try to believe in myself and have more confidence and then something like this happens and once again i come back down again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LonelyGuy Posted December 15, 2010 Report Share Posted December 15, 2010 Yeah, LG, I'm just randomly chiming in that there are lots of people here who'd want to listen respectfully to your problems and support you in any way we could. Everyone has problems, and everyone needs help, sometimes.Thanks for your words Malign! It feels good to get support from someone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted December 16, 2010 Author Report Share Posted December 16, 2010 Hi LG. I'm sorry that things did not work out with your friend. It's very natural to feel sad around a loss. It's great that you are trying and want to believe in yourself. There are many different reasons why relationships don't work out. One day you may find the right girl for you, someone who loves and appreciates you. On the positive side, you know what is possible now. I hope you keep trying.What else has been happening in your life, LG? Do you have any support from family and friends? I hope so. Take gentle care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LonelyGuy Posted December 16, 2010 Report Share Posted December 16, 2010 Thank you so much for all your support Irma, I really need it during this difficult time in my life. I hope that someday i will meet the right girl for me and that I can get married and start a family. As for support from family and friends, I don't have many friends here where i live and i feel uncomfortable talking about this issues with my family members. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted December 16, 2010 Author Report Share Posted December 16, 2010 You're very welcome, LG. It must be difficult not having many to talk to about your concerns and feelings.Keep yourself open to the possibilities and life might surprise you. I hope you have a peaceful day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LonelyGuy Posted December 20, 2010 Report Share Posted December 20, 2010 I'm feeling really lousy about this problem, it just seems to never go away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted December 20, 2010 Author Report Share Posted December 20, 2010 I'm sorry you feel sad. Have you ever tried therapy, LG? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randomperson Posted December 20, 2010 Report Share Posted December 20, 2010 About the same as yesterday, I have all these thoughts of shame and insecurities. I was talking to a girl i liked for a long time and i told her that i would like to be in a relationship with her someday, she said she would think about it and after over a year she accepted me but since we are a long distance from each other we never got a chance to sleep together. After a couple of months she told me she could not stay with me because she was still in love with an ex boyfriend who actually treated her badly This was a bad blow to me because i had gotten my hopes up and i thought that finally i had found someone but it wasn't real. I winder if she decided to end it with me because she found out about my penis size from someone else or if she just couldn't love me because of her ex. I try to believe in myself and have more confidence and then something like this happens and once again i come back down again.How would she find out if you have never been together? I know one thing.. for me issues that bother me typically become my 'catch all' answer to things I don't understand that hurts me. Often that gets me in trouble. Allan and some others even caught me in a thread when I first started posting. I apologized for being messed up and thought that was why no one responded. I want to tell you something that might or might not help.A woman I am interested was just like the woman you spoke of, even being long distance. She even went back to her ex and he was abusive. Yes she did go back to him but it didn't last. You know why because he was a jerk and I helped her see that. Abuse has a way of messing with people's minds. They think they can't live without them.. but it isn't true love.So know it isn't you at all. If you truly care for her and willing to put up with the roller coaster, keep being a close friend.. flirt, flirt heavy and often unless she tells you to stop, and keep her guessing not sure if you have moved on or still like her and most of all be there for her when she needs you. If she does care like you say you might be surprised and win her heart in the end.. but I strongly suggest to take it as friends right now let time play things out.I did and my ex is warming up to me again. To the point where I joke with my mom that she is my part time girlfriend at times. Going through it did give me part of my self esteem back just knowing that it wasn't my fault. I did nothing wrong, it wasn't my looks, my anything that caused the break up. In fact many of the things I thought bothered her did not at all. I thought I was ugly, she said I was handsome.. and so on. The whole process of the break up and aftermath was very painful.. but eye opening to who I was and where I am emotionally.Not saying it will work out between me or my ex or you and yours.The whole point of this from what you wrote I am 90% your break up has nothing to do with you like my break up had nothing to do with me.It is hard being single especially around holidays. Sometimes I do something special for like buy something for myself, and then try to remember I wouldn't be able to do it if I had a GF or wife and kids because I would be spending all my extra money on them lol Believe it or not that almost always cheers me up some haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LonelyGuy Posted December 20, 2010 Report Share Posted December 20, 2010 I'm sorry you feel sad. Have you ever tried therapy, LG?Years ago i went to therapy for this issue and others i have, it was a little bit helpful but then my therapist moved from here and i felt uncomfortable continuing my therapy with a new person. I felt a relief talking about the things that bother me with somebody and having this person not judge me at all. I was sad when my therapist left because i got used to her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LonelyGuy Posted December 20, 2010 Report Share Posted December 20, 2010 How would she find out if you have never been together? I know one thing.. for me issues that bother me typically become my 'catch all' answer to things I don't understand that hurts me. Often that gets me in trouble. Allan and some others even caught me in a thread when I first started posting. I apologized for being messed up and thought that was why no one responded. I want to tell you something that might or might not help.A woman I am interested was just like the woman you spoke of, even being long distance. She even went back to her ex and he was abusive. Yes she did go back to him but it didn't last. You know why because he was a jerk and I helped her see that. Abuse has a way of messing with people's minds. They think they can't live without them.. but it isn't true love.So know it isn't you at all. If you truly care for her and willing to put up with the roller coaster, keep being a close friend.. flirt, flirt heavy and often unless she tells you to stop, and keep her guessing not sure if you have moved on or still like her and most of all be there for her when she needs you. If she does care like you say you might be surprised and win her heart in the end.. but I strongly suggest to take it as friends right now let time play things out.I did and my ex is warming up to me again. To the point where I joke with my mom that she is my part time girlfriend at times. Going through it did give me part of my self esteem back just knowing that it wasn't my fault. I did nothing wrong, it wasn't my looks, my anything that caused the break up. In fact many of the things I thought bothered her did not at all. I thought I was ugly, she said I was handsome.. and so on. The whole process of the break up and aftermath was very painful.. but eye opening to who I was and where I am emotionally.Not saying it will work out between me or my ex or you and yours.The whole point of this from what you wrote I am 90% your break up has nothing to do with you like my break up had nothing to do with me.It is hard being single especially around holidays. Sometimes I do something special for like buy something for myself, and then try to remember I wouldn't be able to do it if I had a GF or wife and kids because I would be spending all my extra money on them lol Believe it or not that almost always cheers me up some hahaThank you for all your suggestions and advice! It makes me feel terrible knowing that she preferred a guy who treated her badly over me. I don't want to be someone's second best choice so i decided not to speak to her anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malign Posted December 20, 2010 Report Share Posted December 20, 2010 But LG, doesn't that say a lot more about the quality of her decision-making process than it does about you? Plus, in a long-distance relationship, she doesn't really get to know you that well, at all.I agree with you about cutting ties with her. But I also encourage you to keep opening new ties, to new people. There are a lot of good women out there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randomperson Posted December 21, 2010 Report Share Posted December 21, 2010 I agree with Malign. I am pretty bad about conveying my thoughts in messages, but I wanted you to know it is her. It really has nothing to do with you. She likely has something going on, some emotional issue that draws her to men that mistreat her. Says nothing about your character or your level of attraction to women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LonelyGuy Posted December 22, 2010 Report Share Posted December 22, 2010 Thanks Malign and randomperson, I am really trying to convince myself that she was the one with the problem and not I, this is something that is not easy for me and for others like me who suffer from this handicap. She asked me to forgive her which I did, i think it's wrong to hold grudges against someone and I don't want to turn into a hateful person. I haven't spoken to her ever since because i don't want to keep the wound open and i don't want those doubts to enter my mind again. She like the ones before her told me the same thing that "I am a great guy and that i deserve a better woman than her" I wonder when will I meet this better woman! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted June 16, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 16, 2011 I pulled these so they do not divert attention from Bellini's thread. There are a few women on here that tell us "it doesn't matter to me" over and over again, which for me offers very little solace, I don't know about the rest of you.What would help to support you, Mardi Gras? How can I best support you?there are women out there who would treasure a man, regardless of size.Yes, there are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flander Posted June 17, 2011 Report Share Posted June 17, 2011 I'd like meet one before I'm too old for it to matter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LonelyGuy Posted June 30, 2011 Report Share Posted June 30, 2011 I'm still single and hating it, it seems that no matter what I do it's never good enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flander Posted July 1, 2011 Report Share Posted July 1, 2011 Summer is nice in that I can get out and walk around for exercise. While there is also a lot of "nice scenery" out and about too, it is depressing to see people having fun and knowing that you'll never being a part of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ASchwartz Posted July 1, 2011 Report Share Posted July 1, 2011 Hi Flander,You need to work on diminishing that thought when you are out and about. Its very healthy to go out, see the beauty of Spring and Summer, and breath deeply. It all gets taken away when you have the thought, "I'll never be part of that," when you see couples. Talk to yourself, tell yourself, "what has that got to do with the beautiful outside?" In other words, why deprive yourself of the pleasure of the outside? Talk to yourself. Come on, give yourself a break.Allan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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