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Turmoil Discussion


Guest ASchwartz

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Guest ASchwartz

I have been thinking about the recent turmoil that has occurred in this forum and how all of you are feeling about it. Both Lifeless and DavidO had some very strong disagreements and both of them suddenly decided to leave the community.

It just makes sense that most of you have some thoughts and feelings about this.

So, let's open a discussion about this.

Allan

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I think it is too bad it had to come to that. I did not participate in that discussion and by the time I checked, the offensive statements were no longer there. I have no issue with Lifeless or David O. I have had positive interactions with both so I hope that they don't alienate themselves for good. Since David O is involved with other sections on this website, I hope he will resume posting in the areas where he feels more comfortable.

I think that when dealing with these types of issues it is common for people to have strong reactions. I myself have been guilty of it in the past. I am feeling ok lately, maybe because I went to the strip club last night.:(

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi Recluse,

Thank you for your response. I wonder what others are thinking and feeling about Lifeless, David O and our community?

Allan

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I was also very saddened by what happened. I've been a bit distracted of late and I apologize for that, but want everyone here in this part of the forum to know that I'm still here for all of you. I hope that everyone is feeling better.

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As for Lifeless and David O I do not know what happened between them. I do know that Lifeless was always there to give me some comfort and advice when I needed it. I really appreciate his attempt to help me. As for the community, I must say that this is the only place where I can really express myself without ridicule and embarrassment. It's refreshing to know that I am accepted somewhere in this miserable world. It's people like Dr. Allen and Irma (and anybody else I didn't mention) that shine some light in my darkened world of pain and dispair. I can never thank you and the community enough. My life would be alot worse without the community to turn to in my darkest hours. If anybody would care to fill me in on what happened I would appriciate it. If not, I understand no big deal.

people always told me

the bars are dark and lonely

and talk is often cheap and filled with air

sure sometimes they thrill me

but nothing could ever chill me

like the way they make the time just disappeare

- my mourning jacket!

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Guest ASchwartz

Skynight,

Thank you for your comment. Yes, David O is a loss. Be assured that I am a therapist as well and we have others among our moderators. Also know that it is possible that David O might return, maybe??? True of Lifeless as well. I did not know that Lifeless was getting depressed here. So, perhaps you are correct here.

What do others think?

Allan:)

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  • 2 weeks later...

I felt lifeless had such moments of compassion sometimes. To me he did anyway. So I feel sad it all happened like that. I don't like people thinking so badly of him. Although of course mistakes were made and text can be so easy to misinterpret. But I agree sometimes being here can make things worse for some reason. What works for one person doesn't work for all etc. I hope everyone is feeling better after what happened and getting some peace. We live and learn. It certainly helped me to learn that people here are trying to help and have their own things to deal with....when I first joined I was a bit "ME ME ME" (ok still working on that!)

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To all,

I remember when I was a little kid living in the Sierra Madres of old Mexico, how utterly poor we were with our dirt floors, grass roof, twig and mud walls and the barren land we called a farm. One incident that strikes me surrounds a full day trip to the market in which my great grandmother Consuelo found a small, filthy rag on the side of the road. She decided she loved the colors and that it would be one more piece for her hand-made quilt. I told her several times that the old rag was so stained, soiled and grimy that it was useless, and that she should leave it where she found it. She ignored me and only said: “Let’s wait and see!” So, the dirty rag came home with us to m disappointment —and I was disgusted. She made me wash it, and so I did, grudgingly, on our metal washboard. The water turned deep brown, so she had me change it, and the second time around it turned deep brown once again. After several washes I could see the colors emerge, slowly as the stains washed off, the beauty of the colors and design surfaced. A new section was made clearer after each washing, and over time the whole of the small cloth was restored… and it was beautiful, so much so that she placed it at the center of her quilt.

She gave me the quilt and to this day, nearly 50 years later, it now hangs on a wall as a decoration (and as a memory of who she was). Sometimes we see (ourselves and) others like this, like dirty rags, especially when they/we have been hurt and are protective to avoid further pain, and in this protective need, they/we inadvertently hurt others. It is only after we cleanse our eyes and our hearts (and it often takes many washes) that we begin to see more clearly and more of who they are (and who we are), where they came from, which pains and sufferings have been the greatest and have caused them the deepest sorrows and troubles.

I reacted from my deepest pains to Lifeless and my hope is that while there may be disagreements between us in the “family,” that in the end, we can be forgiving of each other and that we can learn from these encounters to provide an ever increasing healing, health-giving and restorative experience to those who join us on this journey.

My hope is that for those who are here, that you will continue to trust and know that we make every effort to always protect each other, and as in each of us as humans, this "family" will always be a work in progress.

Allan, thanks so much for opening this thread, and also for our conversations and your encouragement.

In forgiveness and healing,

David

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that's a beautiful story David and a good reminder that we all have times when we are like that rag and need someone to see that there is beauty below all the miles and miles of grime that can build up around us. My hope is that we, as a community, can remember to look past the words that are written to see what hurt, fear, AND color are going on beneath that surface. We need reach out to an aching heart that may be desperately trying to reach out but afraid to grasp that hand that is there for them.

Welcome back.... I missed you :)

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A heartwarming story, David. Amazing sometimes where life's lessons may come from. Maybe for a time the dirt and grime served to protect the rag from its true beauty. But with gentle care then it was ready to be seen. So glad to have you back. :)

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Hello David. It was so nice to hear your voice again in the forum and I hope we will continue to hear it for a long time to come. Welcome back. :) I'm glad you told us that story. It's moving and is something we all need to remember. Telling it to us here shows us what a kind, compassionate and caring person you are. Sometimes people say things that hurt others, when in reality it is a cry of pain to be noticed. I know I have been guilty of that. All of us have something good and worthwhile inside of us, we just need someone to be willing to give us a good scrubbing for it to be seen! :)

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