Solving your own problems: the Miracle Question

[David O]

This is part 2 of a question asked 2 weeks ago titled: If I had life to live over again......

Part 2 asks:

The best therapists is too often our own self, after all, who knows and understands us better? Sometimes all we need to problem solve is to have a structured way of looking at our issues, and asking the Miracle Question is a powerful approach, especially if taken seriously:

If a miracle happened overnight, and you woke up tomorrow with one of your major concerns/problems/issues (that you have control over) greatly improved (or was gone), how would your life be different? What would others notice to be different about you?

If I had no problem/issue/concern with _________________, my life would be different in the following 3 ways:

1)

2)

3)

If you were to take steps today and maintain them for 1 month to see this difference, what would they be? Think in specifics:

1)

2)

3)

4)

5)

This is not an easy exercise and requires much work, but the payoffs can be incredible if you act on your own wisdom, self examination, honesty and knowledge.

My hope is that this will start some very good discussion and self healing.

Good luck,

David

[IntoxicatedFrog]

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[Calla]

Hi Frog, firstly I agree, eating small amounts of food is not the way. I've done all the diets over the years. For the first time ever I have a sucessful grip on my weight. And it is all about eating the right things. And NOT starving yourself. Secondly it's important not to let it make you feel bad or worthless. The main reason for doing it is for your physical health and then the rest should follow.

And alcohol definitely won't help...believe me I know, it will never make you skinny because of all the empty calories!

Having said all that my next reply will make me sound a hypocrite!

[Calla]

If I had no problem with my appearance my life would be different in 3 ways:

1.I wouldn't cry when I look in the mirror, which actually makes my crows feet worse (which are the centre of my obsession)

2.I might attracted the opposite sex and not push them away for fear they may look at my face too long and realise what it really looks like.

3.I could stop wearing glasses I don't need and a hat.

I'm actually lost for the next bit I'm afraid, apart from surgery.

I'm pretty (excuse pun) sure there isn't one already and it may sound shallow. But maybe we need an appearance/BDD forum topic.

[Luna-]

Ah, Dr David, you'll do yourself out of a job one day...

Or not. I reckon steps 1 to 5 do most people in. You know how much easier it is to remain inside the pen *pouring a glass of "yes but" whine...

Thanks for this; it's a great practical way to look at one's life.

[Guest GingerSnap]

Yes, if a miracle isn't going to take place, nothing is going to change in my life. I always do everything that I can possibly do to make my situation better:) so this is my situation as it stands. But, I believe in miracles so I'll just stand by.

[LogDork]

If I had no problem/issue/concern with _trust_, my life would be different in the following 3 ways:

1) I'd see my doctor

2) I'd see old friends again, and learn forgiveness

3) I'd have not seen most of the western US alone, and up close, nor probably made a living working in all of the national forests in oregon, doing the line of work I drifted into.

If you were to take steps today and maintain them for 1 month to see this difference, what would they be? Think in specifics:

1) see my doctor, get the financial aspects of my medical needs figured out, and get surgury on my shoulder

2) assume I'll live longer than I do now

3) make a family visit

4) spend more time with the people I am around, and live close to

5) decide whether to bid more forest work, or get out of it. :confused:

[IrmaJean]

I added a few.

If I had no problem/issue/concern with _____my self-confidence____________, my life would be different in the following ways:

1)I would be able to assert myself more.

2)I would be able to make choices without so much self-doubt.

3)Others would respond more positively to me.

4)I would like myself better.

5)I would be more capable of accomplishing my goals.

If you were to take steps today and maintain them for 1 month to see this difference, what would they be? Think in specifics:

1)I would challenge myself to speak my mind and to trust in my own wisdom and common sense.

2)I would remind myself daily of my own value and worth.

3)I would volunteer rather than retreat when it came to facing my fears.

4)I would place my energy in being proactive now rather than beating myself up for past failures.

5)I would place myself in situations where I would have the opportunity to challenge myself and gain new knowledge.

6)I would allow myself to have good feelings about myself.

These are things that I touched on in therapy and have been working on for several years, though not with perfect success. Undoubtedly my self-confidence has improved a great deal during this time, but it is still a struggle at times. I'm fighting the good fight and intend to keep on doing so.

Thanks, David.

[IntoxicatedFrog]

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[Sissagwaad]

where are the rest of the posts, page 2, of this thread???

In part curious about intoxicatedfrog,

-what might his 'intoxication' be in part supported by?

[malign]

Hi Sissa,

I don't think there was a page two to this thread. David intended this as part two of a two-part question; the first is in another thread.

As for the IntoxicatedFrog, he was an interesting character, but we haven't heard from him in quite a while, though I'd be curious to hear from him, as well.

[Guest SomethingOrOther]

Na, it's true. There was a page 2 before you posted on it.

If you mouse over the small "2" for the page it still says "showing posts 11 of 11-14." or something like that. Now it might say something else, though.

It's the invisible things. :cool:

oh, well. 11-15 of 15. This is #12, though.

[malign]

Interesting. There ought not to be anything I can't see, with this account. Well, except PM's and such ...

I'll look into it further, though I don't know whether I'll find anything.

[IrmaJean]

Odd thing about it is I saw the page 2 when I wasn't signed in, though didn't see it when I was. It's a good exercise and it was interesting looking at what I wrote last July.