Sensitivity request.

[Calla]

This site is incredibly insensitive sometimes. Particularly the moderators. I would just like to request that people remember what this site is about and how people feel when they have to turn to a place like this. Thank you.

[SweetSue]

Hi Calla

Has something someone has said upset you ?

I hope not. You know Ive not been back for very long and havnt really had the time to read a lot of the posts. But from what I can remember of this community, it has always been very supportive and considerate, Ive made many friends over this past year since I joined.

Hope that your ok.

Take care

[Calla]

Hi there, it's just things I see going on when I have a nose about in the forum. So it's nothing thats happened to me. I understand it must be a difficult thing to do. But I just imagine how I would feel if I were the other person. Don't get me wrong I have received much support here and I am grateful for that. But I've see a few things and think ...if that person is really at the lowest ebb and they have recieved that response how terrible that could make them feel. I have always been a bit sensitive I guess and my Mum always used to say I have this impulse to always defend the "underdog"!!

[Luna-]

Calla, if you have a problem with what I did, you can speak with me about it, or report it to Mark. Communication lines are open and available to all members.

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi Calla and SweetSue,

I regret that any of our moderators have been perceived as insensitive at time. The internet and E. Mail in general, are difficult ways to communicate because it is hard to know the tone and spirit in which something is being written. It might help if we had feedback to the moderator if they seemed to have come across as insensitive. Feedback would help us to explain what we are really trying to say.

What do you think?

Allan

[Calla]

I think Luna is being paranoid and has run to the head master.

[SweetSue]

Hey Allan

I never said anything about the moderators being percieved as insensitive. Please re read what I wrote.

[Calla]

Having said that I do have a massive problem with what you did. But that is not the only incidence I am talking about.

[Guest ASchwartz]

Okay,

What did I do???

[Calla]

Calla, if you have a problem with what I did, you can speak with me about it, or report it to Mark. Communication lines are open and available to all members.

I was replying to this.

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi SweetSue,

I know that. Actually, I was responding to Calla and not you. But, ooops, that is a good example of how internet communication can be difficult.

Sorry,

Allan:)

[SweetSue]

Hey Allan

Its ok, Think I need chocolate now hmmm, or cake - probably both I guess some things never change

Take care

[Guest ASchwartz]

Chocolat sounds good to me. Love it. Yum:D

[Guy Out There]

Just wanted to say i have also noticed some sensitivity issues with certain senior members of this site (including the one Calla was referencing with Luna).

While non of them have affected me, certain responses are often put across in a way that they are misunderstood, a downside of communicating with the internet.

I myself have posted things and realized i had put them in such a way they were misunderstood easily (Some of the things going on here though are just unacceptable and the intent of the post was quite clear).

[SweetSue]

Hey Allan

Chocolate is the BEST, yep Im still a chocoholic and would still LOVE to work at Cadbury's as a taster (ok thats kinda obvious eh- Ooops)

Luna-

Thankyou !!!

[Calla]

As I have previously said the incident Luna refers to is not the only one. I have indeed seen Allan reply to someone with an appalling lack of sensitivity at which I was horrified to be frank.

This site has many moderators and I feel sometimes someone needs to speak up for the not so powerful but equally important and knowledgable people. I will show respect and gratitude when it is deserved and indeed have done many times. I will also speak out if I feel neccessary and no amount of good work should mean someone can get away with potentially damaging someones mental health further.

[Calla]

I will also add I mentioned no names or situations and kept it as a general request. So don't not accuse me of personal attacks.

[Luna-]

Was anyone attacked?

[Calla]

Exactly my point.

[IrmaJean]

Hi Calla. There are times when we have to edit or delete posts before we get the opportunity to explain why we're doing it. Some posts may be too potentially damaging to the community to leave out in the open. The decisions we make are based on what we feel is in the best interests of everyone and in trying to keep the community a safe place. These decisions can be difficult and we don't take them lightly.

If I ever post something which seems insensitive, I would want to know of this right away as it is never my intention.

I like your cute animal pictures, btw.

[danni]

i can't speak for all the moderators so I will only speak for my self. First of all, I do apologize for all my incredibly insensitive posts. I feel really bad about them because I do spend a lot of time considering my words and trying to make them as kind and compassionate as they can be, even when I am moderating a situation that may be difficult for another. I will truly try to be more sensitive in the future. But, I can't guarantee that will work because perception is truth....not intention. If I give 110% to say something in the most sensitive and compassionate way I can but the reader sees it as insensitive, then I am still incredibly insensitive no matter what was in my heart and what I was trying to say. I guess I'm a failure no matter what I write.

The other thing that I think is important to remember is that we are all here for the same reason. We are fellow sufferers. Even the moderators. We are all her for mutual support of each other.

[Calla]

Are moderators given training or at least comprehensive guidelines. Giving power to people who are not professional over people who are feeling depressed/vulnerable etc does not seem a good idea to me.

We are all guilty of misjudgement I know. But "jobsworths" are not helpful here. The whole subject of mental health is a moveable feast and therefore moderating should be too.

(sarcasm is the lowest form of wit by the way)

[Guest SomethingOrOther]

The problem I see with generalised criticism is that nobody can apply it. "Be more considerate" doesn't work, whereas "Here you said A, and it sounds like B and made me feel C and now I'm worried that D, so could you please E." might. At least I hope so. I actually just realised recently that this might be the reason people want to bite my head off, when I'm just trying to improve things and have nothing but good intentions. People can easily be offended, just because the criticism is too general, I think.

I actually don't know what incidents we are talking about here, but I don't see a way around adressing them individually, if something is supposed to be changed about it.

[Calla]

There is also a ganging up on someone who dares to question the clique.

[SweetSue]

Hi Calla

I dont think anyone is ganging up on anyone here, maybe Im mistaken or have missed something, if I have then I am sorry

Are you OK ?

Take care

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I just want to say :-

Danni, Irmajean, Luna, David O, and all the other moderators here, do the best they can for all of us.