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Giving up therapy


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I wrote my therapist an email last night and told him that I think it best to stop coming to talk to him. My reasons are 1. I just don't believe I will ever get to where I want to go and just be happy without all this depression. It is too hard between sessions and the deep depression just comes on whenever it pleases and I can't take it anymore. 2. I dread the ending of the therapy and the fact that I am already attatched to him and the longer it goes on, the harder it will be to leave one day. It's already hard, imagine what it would be like 6 mos. or a year from now. :)

So, I am trying to stay busy and hopefully, in time, I won't be thinking about him so much. I wrote that I will still be bringing my son, if that's ok, and I'm sure it will be. I also told him that it is not his fault, that he has done everything to try and help me, but I just don't have whatever it takes to be successful in it and that I think he is a wonderful therapist.

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OH MY GOSH THIS IS KILLING ME! I am so tired of having all of these feelings swirling around inside of me so that's why I wrote him and told him maybe it was best to stop coming. Really inside, I am afraid he will agree! What a terrible thing therapy can be! I am scared to death of the ending of the therapy, I don't want to leave the one person I can talk to. I keep thinking that maybe all of this means I am getting near a brekthrough, what do you all think?

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Hello again,

So, now to the 2nd news from you (the 1st was the change of your username):

What comes to my mind when I'm reading this thread is my decision (in April? I'm not sure anymore...) to have a break from therapy for a month. It was so hard, but it also had some positive results (as I've mentioned previously, in another therad). Maybe having a break could be good for you, too, maybe it would be easier then giving up "totaly", but; who knows?

You didn't mention the reaction of your therapist. What did he reply to you?

In any case, it's your decision, you can stick on it or change it sometimes - you'll see... I keep my fingers crossed for you :(

The vacation of my therapist have not been hard for me so far, as I've been on holidays and we had a good time. But the 16th September is still quite far away and "the worst will only come": I'll have to meet my supervisor soon (he's in the US now for 5 weeks) and tell him I failed to do what I had to do during the summer. I'll also have to go to a Summer school for a week and I really don't want to go (but I have to), ... and... "the best of all": I should decide what to do with my life, finally! :o I'm sorry I sound so negative, moreover now, when you've made the great decision to think more positively.

I'm lookong forward to hearing from you :).

Edited by LaLa3
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Well,if I am understanding transference right, I am projecting my feelings about all the people who have left me onto him, right? So, maybe this is some kind of breakthrough.

If this is the case, are you leaving him before he becomes another of the people who left you? Could well be some kind of breakthrough. Maybe he's not going to leave you ...?

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Luna, yes, I believe I was trying to leave him before he had the chance to leave me. Since I first wrote this, I recieved an email from him assuring me that my feelings are normal and validated and that "My door never closes to you". I have been feeling a lot better since I got that email, for I trust him enough now to know that he would not say that if it were not true. :)

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