Resolute Posted December 26, 2014 Report Share Posted December 26, 2014 merry christmas, i hope you're doing okay.wishing you well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted December 26, 2014 Report Share Posted December 26, 2014 Merry Christmas to you as well, M. I also hope you are doing okay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Endlessnight Posted January 3, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 3, 2015 I'm feeling so weird today. You know how you feel when you are underwater and your ears are full of water and everything seems so far away? That's how I'm feeling. I don't know why - I woke up okay, but when I get up from sitting I feel weird. Also like my teeth are on edge. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm feeling a little scared to be honest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Endlessnight Posted January 4, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 4, 2015 Ken, you might be right. I've had a throat infection for a couple of weeks now and it's probably gone to my sinus and ears. I just hope it doesn't go to my chest. I wish I knew what antibiotic I should take then I wouldn't have to go to the doc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted January 4, 2015 Report Share Posted January 4, 2015 ya, i hate it whren it goes to my chest too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Endlessnight Posted January 8, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 8, 2015 Recently I've been having problems knowing what is reality and what are dreams. For instance, a few days ago I dreamt I got up in the middle of the night, I don't know why, and as it was dark I fell over my slippers, banging into my chair, hurting my arm and leg. When I woke up in the morning, I wasn't sure if it was a dream or if it was real, so I looked in the mirror at my arm but didn't see any bruising so I assumed it was a dream. But that night when I lay down to sleep on my side my arm hurt so much I couldn't lie on it. I got up and looked in the mirror again and this time saw a huge bruise. There was also a bruise on the inside of my lower leg. So it seems it wasn't a dream. But I don't remember anything about getting back into bed after falling down. It's so weird. Could I have been sleepwalking? If so, I think it's the first time, but it might not be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Endlessnight Posted January 18, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 18, 2015 I cut my intake of Entapro from 100mg daily to 50mg and now I think it was a mistake. I've been feeling very irritable and impatient and just all over not being able to put up with anything. I guess I'll have to go back to 100mg from tomorrow. I cut it because I hoped it might lessen the confusion and cotton headed feeling I have.I did a test online for ADHD and I got 40. Probable ADHD is 36+. I'm wondering if that could be a partial cause for my feelings of being unable to focus and concentrate on anything. Of course I know that depression can also be a cause. Does anyone have any knowledge of this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Endlessnight Posted January 19, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 19, 2015 Thank you for your suggestions Ken, and for the link.As for what you said about moving on, I think I have done that in many ways. Writing about it here, as I did on this thread, helped so much. I think just writing it down, getting it out was a push and was movement forward, as you said. I don't re-live the what-ifs or whys so much as I used to. My hate and resentment have almost gone completely, I think. Sometimes I think all of that anger and hate was all that was keeping me alive, because now I am mostly rid of it all, I feel kind of empty; not sure what I am. I know I should think about making myself whatever I want to be - someone caring and forgiving. Someone that can love and allow herself to be loved. Yet I still struggle with that. I still feel I am unwanted, unloved and unneeded. This mental confusion I am having is only making things worse. It has gotten worse over the past few months. I feel there is a disconnection between my brain and my body - for instance, my brain tells my hands to do something and they do something else. I was so upset the other day because I deleted my DOS for work (distribution of syllabus for the term). Now I have to do it all over again. It's things like this that have me messing with my meds and made me check out adult ADHD. I can't concentrate on anything for long - my attention span just shuts down after a few minutes. I drift off somewhere else. I just blurt out things that have nothing to do with conversations people are having - even with me. Even when I go to a doc, when I'm sick, not necessarily the Pdoc, he is talking to me and I am not listening. I'm thinking of something else. This me is scaring me because I feel I have no control over what is happening. I feel I am on a downhill ride and am going to crash. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted January 20, 2015 Report Share Posted January 20, 2015 (edited) Are you getting enough adequate rest, M? I know when I was in the midst of insomnia, I experienced a lot of mental confusion. I also had very low vitamin D levels in my blood. Has your doctor checked your vitamin and/or thyroid levels recently? Could it possibly be related to mid-life symptoms?Take care, M. Edited January 20, 2015 by IrmaJean adding Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Endlessnight Posted January 21, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 21, 2015 Hello Beth. I don't have a problem with sleeping, not as long as I take the Seroquel. I think I sleep too much actually. Unfortunately, I can't afford to do any tests right now, they are very expensive here. I have let myself 'go' in so many ways; physically - I've gained so much weight; mentally - I don't read or do things that are helpful. I just can't be bothered anymore. I used to be so meticulous in keeping myself neat and clean and well groomed, and made sure I dressed everyday even if I wasn't going out. I know it makes a difference in how you feel about yourself but I just don't care anymore. I'm dragging myself along day by day. I know I did badly in my work this past semester - I feel I have let my employers and, more importantly, my students down by my lack of focus and my absences due to my getting sick often. I hate myself for being this way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted January 21, 2015 Report Share Posted January 21, 2015 what do you teach, endless? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Endlessnight Posted January 22, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 22, 2015 I teach English Literature ESL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted January 22, 2015 Report Share Posted January 22, 2015 okay; good to know. i wish you the best of luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Endlessnight Posted January 23, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 23, 2015 Thank you, Resolute. How are you doing? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted January 24, 2015 Report Share Posted January 24, 2015 actually, not too well. it seems i've caught some sort of nasty bug, which is putting me through hell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Endlessnight Posted January 25, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 25, 2015 I'm sorry to hear that. There is a bad bug going around here, also. Everyone in my house has caught it. What are your symptoms? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted January 25, 2015 Report Share Posted January 25, 2015 severe stomach and/or bowel pain which radiates through the whole trunk, and diarrhea with blood (blood seems to have ceased). and of course overall weakness and complete lack of appetite. i think my symptoms have improved a bit as of today (sunday), but i have yet to have any blood work done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted January 25, 2015 Report Share Posted January 25, 2015 I would recommend going to a doctor ASAP if you continue to have sharp pains and see blood in your stool, especially if you've recently taken antibiotics. I was sick for 2 months some years back with a nasty stomach bug called Clostridium difficile colitis. Hopefully you aren't ill with that and continue to be on the mend, resolute.M, how are you feeling today? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted January 25, 2015 Report Share Posted January 25, 2015 thanks, irma. ya, doc said to run some tests, but i'm too tired and broke at the moment. we'll see what happens in next few days. it's interesting you should mention antibiotics. i had taken some prior to this happening, so they might've exacerbated the situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted January 25, 2015 Report Share Posted January 25, 2015 Certain antibiotics can cause this, such as Clindamycin ( this is what caused mine). It's weird because it is then treated with a different antibiotic. This can be serious. I hope you can find a way to get checked by a doctor. It sucks that money is an issue. They missed mine in the ER the first time, but when I didn't get well, a colonoscopy confirmed it. I hope you feel better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted January 25, 2015 Report Share Posted January 25, 2015 i had taken penicillin, so perhaps unrelated? it's most likely severe food poisoning or something. anyway, take care irma, and thanks again for your concern. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Endlessnight Posted January 28, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 28, 2015 I'm sorry you are having such awful problems. If it continues, I hope you can find the money to do more tests so they can find out what's going on. Are you able to be off work so you can rest? Hi Beth. I'm doing okay, thank you. How are you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted January 28, 2015 Report Share Posted January 28, 2015 thanks for asking, but actually, i'm a lot better and won't be pursuing any tests or docs. and i haven't really worked in a long time, so that's not an issue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted January 28, 2015 Report Share Posted January 28, 2015 I'm glad you are feeling better, resolute. I was worried when you mentioned bloody diarrhea and having recently taken an antibiotic. That c diff stuff can be brutal (I lost 20 pounds with it) so I'm really glad this wasn't that. It's good you are doing okay, M. I'm doing okay too. I'm listening to soundscapes music right now. Very relaxing.I wish both of you wellness and healing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted January 28, 2015 Report Share Posted January 28, 2015 thank you, irma. take care. and you take care too, m. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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