Resolute Posted October 26, 2014 Report Share Posted October 26, 2014 i don't know much about you or your life endlessnight, but i'm sorry that you're going through this. i hope things get a little better.take care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted October 26, 2014 Report Share Posted October 26, 2014 That sounds so awful and stressful, M. ((((hugs)))) Wishing you peace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Endlessnight Posted October 27, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 27, 2014 I feel so alone.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted October 27, 2014 Report Share Posted October 27, 2014 I feel so alone..you and i both. you and i both. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted October 28, 2014 Report Share Posted October 28, 2014 Would it help to express yourself more, M? We can't be there with you physically, but we can listen and sit with you in spirit. So sorry you feel alone. :( Resolute, sorry you are feeling alone too. How can we help? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted October 28, 2014 Report Share Posted October 28, 2014 Resolute, sorry you are feeling alone too. How can we help?only god can help, and he's not interested. but thanks anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Endlessnight Posted October 28, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 28, 2014 Resolute, I'm sorry you are feeling alone too. I know how soul destroying loneliness can be. My thoughts are with you. Take care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted October 28, 2014 Report Share Posted October 28, 2014 Resolute, I'm sorry you are feeling alone too. I know how soul destroying loneliness can be. My thoughts are with you. Take care.thank you.to tell you the truth, loneliness is the least of my problems; i only mentioned it because you said you were lonely.i live alone, completely. i have relatives, friends etc that i see sometimes, but it's a small consolation.the main problem with my loneliness is that no one understands me; like i'm speaking korean or something.anyway, i'm sorry to vent in your thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Endlessnight Posted October 28, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 28, 2014 Don't apologise, vent all you want. In what way do you mean they don't understand you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted October 28, 2014 Report Share Posted October 28, 2014 i mean they don't understand my pain or problems. no one does.i'm talkative and funny and can carry a conversation in most areas, so i don't have a problem communicating, but they have no idea what's inside. and when i rarely say something if someone asks etc., well, it's like i'm talking gibberish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Endlessnight Posted October 29, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 29, 2014 It's hard for others to understand anyone else's pain or problems, I think, regardless of depression being added to the mix, so they can come across as being uncaring even though they are not. For years I kept my problems to myself and only recently have I been able to tell two friends of my depression, and even then, I haven't really gone into details with them about it. Keeping things inside though is hell. You want someone to listen, really listen, and understand, as I do. But I don't know that there is anyone that can do that, even though the people on this board try to understand each other and be supportive of each other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted October 29, 2014 Report Share Posted October 29, 2014 yes, you're right. but my problems aren't just depression; i have a million (give or take) other problems that people can't comprehend. of course i know i'm not the only one in the world to have such unresolvable issues, but that's not much help.by the way, if you're comfortable sharing with me, i'll listen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Endlessnight Posted October 29, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 29, 2014 I think I've shared almost everything that I feel and have felt and about my depression, here, on this thread. Sometimes though there are feelings we have that can't be expressed and it's frustrating, for me anyway. There are also things I have not been able to share, for different reasons. I am sure you are the same.I would like to hear what your other problems are other than depression if you feel like sharing them here. Take care, M. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted October 29, 2014 Report Share Posted October 29, 2014 well, without going into details, i have serious financial problems, many health issues, self image issues, being alone and single, and what makes it worse, being too smart and ambitious for my own good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Endlessnight Posted October 30, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 30, 2014 All of these worries can cause anxiety and depression. Being smart and ambitious however isn't a negative thing, it seems to me. If you mean that you dream a lot about going to do this or going to do that, or wanting to - then that is different. Sometimes I feel I've dreamt my life away. If you have the ability to achieve, even in part, something you want to achieve, then go for it. Don't let your depression tell you you can't do it. I too have financial problems and health problems, both of which seem to me at times to go round and round in circles together. It's hard, but I am trying to not panic about such things, and, so far, I've made it. I don't know if anything I'm saying is of any help to you at all, but I hope you know I mean well. Take care, M. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted October 30, 2014 Report Share Posted October 30, 2014 hi m.of course i know you mean well.i understand very well what you mean by health problems affect finances and finances affect health problems and the circle never stops.my depression isn't my main problem, at least i don't believe it is.as to being smart and ambitious being a good thing, well, that depends on the person's circumstances and luck (for lack of a better word). a person who has the means/opportunities to achieve all or most of his/her goals would consider high intellect and ambition a positive thing. a person who doesn't have the means/opportunities on the other hand, will not.even so called "specialists" say that smarter and more ambitious people are more prone to depression than others. and don't forget the saying "ignorance is bliss"; nothing is more true than that saying. if i was an ignorant and senseless moron, i'd be in a lot less pain, and much more content with pretty much everything.p.s., i'm glad you've been successful in not panicking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Endlessnight Posted November 3, 2014 Author Report Share Posted November 3, 2014 I am so sorry I haven't answered your post yet, Resolute, but I am in a bad place right now. I keep listening to this over and over and crying. Where Peaceful Waters Flow - Chris De BurghRestless hearts, it has been along time,Out here on the journey, for a glimpse of paradise,It's getting hard to find a place to go,Where peaceful water flow;I took a walk past the old Saxon well,Down by the cathedral I heard the chapel bell,And joined the people singing for a way to go,Where peaceful waters flow;And if you don't know by now, you never will,Only love can find the door,If you could see it now, it's in your hand,Only love can reach the shore to heaven,Always, she is standing by my side,She's my inspiration, and she's my battle cry,And in her arms is the only place I know,Where peaceful waters flow;And if you don't know by now, you never will,Only love can find the door,If you could see it now it's in your hand,Only love can reach the shore, forevermore,Where peaceful waters flow. . .All I want is to know that peace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted November 3, 2014 Report Share Posted November 3, 2014 I am so sorry I haven't answered your post yet, Resolute, but I am in a bad place right now. I keep listening to this over and over and crying. Where Peaceful Waters FlowRestless hearts, it has been along time,Out here on the journey, for a glimpse of paradise,It's getting hard to find a place to go,Where peaceful water flow;I took a walk past the old Saxon well,Down by the cathedral I heard the chapel bell,And joined the people singing for a way to go,Where peaceful waters flow;And if you don't know by now, you never will,Only love can find the door,If you could see it now, it's in your hand,Only love can reach the shore to heaven,Always, she is standing by my side,She's my inspiration, and she's my battle cry,And in her arms is the only place I know,Where peaceful waters flow;And if you don't know by now, you never will,Only love can find the door,If you could see it now it's in your hand,Only love can reach the shore, forevermore,Where peaceful waters flow. . .All I want is to know that peace.you don't need to apologize.i'm sorry you're in a bad place. if you ever wanna talk, i'm here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted November 6, 2014 Report Share Posted November 6, 2014 how are you doing m? i hope you're feeling a little better. i wish i could help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Endlessnight Posted November 12, 2014 Author Report Share Posted November 12, 2014 Thank you Resolute, you are kind. There are times when I can't write anything anymore. Usually when I realise that I haven't been able to overcome my past and that I don't want a future. When nothing makes much sense to me I just close down inside for a while. I hope you are doing okay. Take care, M. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted November 15, 2014 Report Share Posted November 15, 2014 Thinking of you, M. I wanted to send along comfort and care to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Endlessnight Posted November 16, 2014 Author Report Share Posted November 16, 2014 Thank you, Beth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted November 16, 2014 Report Share Posted November 16, 2014 Thank you Resolute, you are kind. There are times when I can't write anything anymore. Usually when I realise that I haven't been able to overcome my past and that I don't want a future. When nothing makes much sense to me I just close down inside for a while. I hope you are doing okay. Take care, M.hey, you're welcome.i'm doing okay, thanks for asking. sorry for late reply, i wasn't on here for a while.anyway, hope to you see you around soon.best wishes. take care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Endlessnight Posted December 26, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 26, 2014 I know it's late, but I want to wish everyone a wonderful Christmas holiday time. May this coming year bring peace and understanding, and love, to all of us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finding my way Posted December 26, 2014 Report Share Posted December 26, 2014 Merry Christmas, M :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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