beautifully flawed Posted September 25, 2010 Report Share Posted September 25, 2010 Hi everyone...I just wanted to share my experiences with my mother. She was diagnosed bipolar 6 years ago but never told me. My mother has always been difficult to deal with. For most of my life I thought my mother hated me mainly because she would become irrationally angry frequently and without warning. She purposefully embarrassed me and my siblings in front of family members and in public whenever she got the chance. She makes every situation about her even my sister's high school graduation which she successfully ruined for her and all of her friends. They had to call family members in the middle of the night to come pick them up because of my mother. That night she told me I ruined her life by being born. I always thought she hated me. I avoided her physically and left the state for several years but she would call me out of the blue and tell me all of the things I had done to her, she would always say that she wasn't taking the abuse from us anymore. I always felt so torn, I wanted to love her but I didn't understand why she was doing these things. While I was out of state she had a stroke and was hospitalized. After she recovered she began seeing a professional, I'm not sure what his title was. She would call me and that he told her things like she was right about us and needed to start taking care of herself. She could have me crying in under 10 mins every time. She never told me she was bipolar. I moved back in state 4 years ago and avoided her as much as possible. I did see and speak to her but only when I had to. I got a phone call last year saying she was in a hospital in my town. I went there to stay with her and endured the absolute worst experience I have had with her since coming back into state. She verbally attacked every hospital staff member who came in her room. She told each one of them how bad her children were to her, she told them it was our fault she had a stroke and that we abused her. She made my life miserable, I wanted to leave but no one else would come for several days. My brother and sister refused to come at all. She called my grandmother, my sister, my brother and her sister to tell them how bad I was treating her. I could see the one nurse who didn't let her get under his skin giving me "hang in there looks". I been working with people with developmental and intellectual disabilities for 2 years now. I started to see that my mother wasn't in control of herself. I went to the nurse and asked if they had found any drugs in her system. He said no but then told me her bipolar med levels were low because she hadn't been taking them. That's how I found out she was bipolar. I has become easier to deal with her now that I know she has a disease and is not in control of herself all of the time. She still has bad times but I feel like I can deal with them much better now. I now realize that she never hated me and we have a relationship now. When she gets bad I now get angry at the disease and not her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.