Guy Out There Posted November 11, 2010 Report Share Posted November 11, 2010 My upset rant, please read with caution..Suddenly my world has collapsed, everything i believed in so strongly seems so false to everybody else. I know it is true but i can't tell anybody because to them it appears i'm crazy. If it wasn't for a therapist who treated me 7 years ago then i would now be locked up again, maybe for good this time.I just don't know where to turn, i need to rebel, to express myself through an act of destruction, i need to explode (not literally)...Who do you turn to when there is nobody else? When your therapists who you thought you could trust were actually just lying and pretending, if i don't get some help soon i'm just going to do something serious i will regret.What do i need? I need these therapists and doctors to f*cking listen to the small details, this isn't about what is happening now this is about the f*cking trauma again and this is about my PTSD coming back again and hiding in everything. It's in the seizures, it's in my thoughts, this is about my PAST, why can't they f*cking see that? Sure i can't talk about my trauma, the words are grabbed back straight off my tounge everytime i try, maybe the only way i'm going to get any real help is by getting myself locked up for good, by allowing myself to go insane and going on some violent rampage and exploding and fucking up my life and my future and leaving everything behind, all my hopes all my dreams just gone..I sure wish my fucking therapists could be fucking bothered to take note of the small details instead of telling me to get out more. The reason i don't go out as much is because i can't fucking face the world alright???? Do you have a problem with picking up on these things? Or are you just following your training manuals by the letter and ignoring what the patient actually says.. Here is a typical conversation from a session..Them: You need to do more stuff..Me: I just can't face things, i can't face the world anymore..Them: If you get out more then you'll be more tired to sleep.Me: How can i do more when it's such an effort to leave the house?Them: We'll move you to a social worker to help you get out more.Me: Get out more? I can't even go to work anymore, i can't face it.Them: Maybe going to the gym?And so it carries on, you kind of get the picture.Sorry for ranting, i just needed to get that out, i still feel so upset though, i don't even know how i'm going to face work today, i've been off for 3 weeks, what do i tell them?I went crazy but i thought i would come in because 'i need to get out more?' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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