Can someone over come this????

[malign]

Living,

Ever since you first started this thread, I've been wanting to answer the question in your title: "Can someone overcome this?"

The answer is "yes". Someone can overcome this; many have.

The next question, that's implied, is "Can _I_ overcome this?"

I believe the answer to that one is "yes", too. I believe that anyone can overcome the things that happen to them, in life. It's true that not everyone does, but there are a lot of reasons for that.

So, "Will you overcome this?"

That depends on how much love you're able to give yourself, how much help you're willing to ask for, how much trust you can learn to give again.

But believe me, there are a lot of people who hope you do overcome it.

[Athena]

Athena,

i really want to thank you for being here for me, a stranger who doesn't deserve all this kindeness. I know things are not going well for u too and i want to thank u for taking some time to help me...... i am truelly grateful and i hope your well.

Now im just living day by day, acting like a robot on my daily routine i feel empty? Not sure if its a good thing. Im scared of my friends finding out about my cutting so im trying to make them light to look like slight scratches but i doubt it'll last. I know what to do next ... maybe just hanging on is all i can do but know i feel my self injury is in control .

LD, you're very welcome. And I'm very happy to know you are getting your SI under control now. My approaches may be pretty unconventional (ie: pretty much saying, it's OK to do the SI as long as you don't do serious damage and as long as you keep it well hidden.) I forgot my second rule a few weeks ago. Hundreds of visible cuts on my hand, even though all just minor "flesh wounds" still managed to get me escorted out of my hotel by the cops when I was having a "little too public freak out".

My rationale for saying "it's OK" is that once I just accepted what I was doing, I didn't stress over it and I recognised it for what it was - simple coping which had turned into a habit. Then I was able to think a little more clearly about alternative coping methods. And it DOES NOT mean you are abnormal. It just means you've chosen a form of SI that is less socially acceptable than say drinking/drugs/overeating/smoking/overworking but frankly probably less damaging than all of those, other than the inevitable consequences that result from people reacting to your form of SI, which they do not understand. I think I am pretty much over the habit now.

Sorry if I'm repeating myself here, sometimes I can't remember what I posted yesterday. I wish you the best and hope you can get help for the more serious underlying emotional issues - you deserve to be happy.

Oh, and BTW, just because it's on my mind right now and I hope it may be helpful - I brought up my wish to be dead to my therapist today (which happens from time to time, but I have no intention of actually causing it to happen - at least in the near term) But today I think we made a breakthrough. I don't really want to be DEAD (after all, who knows - that could be even worse than where I'm at now if I end up in the wrong place:eek:), I just want to be in another state, as in happy/fulfilled/free/not isolated/not persecuted/not cornered/not hopeless/not empty/not invisible. Frankly, if I could be on another planet right now where everybody was kind to each other, everybody had scruples, nobody was greedy, where "life was actually fair" and where there were no lawyers - I would choose that over being dead. So next time, I'm just going to say, "I wish to be in another state" and I expect it will be a much more productive session.

[mscat]

I wanted to add a little more to what Malign had written. I do agree that self harm can be stopped. however, something that perhaps only self harmers know about is though the SI has stopped it is like always there, laying doormat . Maybe it is because of the addiction part of it, maybe it is because we learned that it is a quick release of all the stress and anger. Even though it is temporary , it does have a way to make a person feel better. But, then the cycle starts all over again , in which self harm becomes more habitual by nature.

I am in no way promoting Self harm:eek: Personally I have done severe damage to myself . I tend to go overboard with certain behaviors , and take it to the extreme. I do know that about myself now, because over the years thier has been a pattern to my behaviors.

I hope that the self harmers on here have or are seeking therapy. It is not the answer to the SI, but it does help to just get things out in the open and not keep everythng inside.

[Athena]

MSCAT,

I absolutely agree with you about therapy. A caring, non-judgemental therapist who encourages you to talk it through with them works wonders.

[Guest ASchwartz]

Mscat,

You beautifully expressed the problem. Like all addictions, and SI is an addiction, it lies there even after it is defeated. For a very long time, it is a constant struggle to avoid temptation. Any recovering addict will tell you that. However, very gradually and over a long time, the pressure and temptation does abate and the addiction becomes a thing of the past. Nevertheless, one day at a time is the way to go.

Allan

[mscat]

The addiction part of it comes when their is a rush of endorphine's that are realsed thoughout the body. Then Self harm , in any form becomes easier to do and then a lot of time self harmers will go a little further each time. Maybe cut a tad deeper , or burn a little longer.... It's all because it feels good, in such a horrific way>

I have not personally Si in a while, howevever when triggered The thoughts always come back . Self harm , equals feeling better, even for the temporary release it gives. If you get too much stress or are overwhelmed , or having a bad day, we fall back into are old behavioral instincts. Self harm can become rather routine , and the more we do it the more it is easier to go back .

I started it at 16 years old, then harmed myself severely by having a eating disorder for years. Getting as low as 77 pounds, I was a walking skeleton. Never fully understanding what kind of danger I was in . Going back to it after in patient treatment. I could not shake it. I see that , for me, that was anther way to self harm. Only stopped a little when I vigoursly got into cycling. Got strong , and was up to a whopping 93 pounds.

Anyway, Self harm has only gotten me into a lot of very severe scars , that I picked back up in my 30's. Just made me more medically injured, and now scard for life.

SO , yes I know a lot about this stuff. Too much. Glad that the majority of self harmers do not take it to the extreme, like I have. I have to see the scars everyday. People use to ask, some knew it was from sort of flame... Nobody knew the real truth , but my brother.

Guess I am lucky to still be walking this earth , with all the stuff I have done to my body. Missing teeth, from the ED, bad ulcers , and acid reflex. the severe scarring, even with the tattoos, I tried to use to take attention away from the burns.

Yet the Self injury is always there. Always. Just like the purging. I feel it is there and easy to get caught back into this web .

Still do not have 100% movement in my right hand > Anyway, to all the younger folks on here that Self harm, GET out of it as fast as you can. I am 42, and still struggle with it. You do not want your years wasted on an addiction. rather it be drugs, sex, drinking, or any of it. Your only harming yurself., and if you do not care about that, nobody else will either.