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This is my question of the day.


Verbally abused?
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To anyone who cares to answer: Why is it that so called "normal" people are offended when asked if they have issues? I think everyone has issues of some sort or another. There are just alot of people that like to stay in that big river in Egypt.

I on the other hand think I have more than I can handle. So, where do I start? I have to say that reading the posts and giving my "2 cents" really helps me to not focus so much on myself! Maybe that is why I haven't had much of a bad day since I started visiting this site on an almost daily basis.

Maybe my post is in the wrong spot today, what do ya do?:D

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If everyone does really have issues, then why does having “issues” even become a thing of relevance? It’s like saying everyone is under ten foot tall. So whining about being under ten foot tall is pointless. Everyone is under ten foot tall. Nobody cares. This isn’t a terribly good analogy, but bear with me. If everyone has issues, then when you complain about your issues or struggle with your issues, you feel stupid for having such difficulty because it’s like you’re struggling with something that is standard fare of everyday existence. I don’t know. For me, telling me that everyone has problems doesn’t make me feel better about mine. It makes me feel stupid that mine bother me so much because clearly, other people are able to deal just fine. Trying to normalize it just makes it a source of shame. So maybe people get offended when asked because it feels like it’s being pointed out to them that they are somehow weaker than everyone else because their “issues” are showing. There’s a reason we hide these things from people. There’s a reason none of my coworkers know about my problems and they all just think I had some odd struggles with the flu a few weeks ago and that’s why I missed so much work. It really is embarrassing. I feel ashamed, weak, and stupid about it. There’s a reason I like the anonymity on here. If someone at work asked me if I had “issues” I would likely lie to them and it’s not because I’m in denial, but because it’s embarrassing and personal.

I feel like all that sounded very grumpy... Not my intention.

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I think it's probably true that everyone has "issues" of some type or another, and that the only variations between all of us are: (1) the level/severity of the issues, and (2) how we cope with our issues. I'm guessing that "normal" people get offended when they are asked about their issues not necessarily because they are in denial but because the vast majority of folks aren't particularly comfortable, like Pseudome said, with having those issues out in public.

For example, I am anything but in denial as to my "issues." I know I have them, I have insight into them, I "own" them as mine. But at the same time I "hide" my issues from others and avoid discussing them because I feel that my problems are not very severe, on the universal scale of things, but I also feel unable to deal with those problems in any reasonable or acceptable way. I feel a lot of shame about that, to the point that even posting anonymously on this site is a struggle.

But I do agree with you, VA, that reading others' posts and chiming in can be a great help in taking the focus off myself and putting it on others, and in letting me know I am not alone.

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Hi!

va

Really I think there is no such thing as normal. It is just something that is my insight.

I haven't asked anybody if they have issues but, I definitely have said that person has some issues. Yes everybody has something but yes I definitely hide it you really have to if you want to survive. I wouldn't want anybody that I have to deal with on a professional issue that I'm bipolar and I'm wacked out of my mind alot. So you hide it. It is very nice to be on here no. 1 it's anonmous and you are not judged and somebody or everybody will help you in any way they can. And I think that is great. It's like you have somebody you just don't have the face.

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Guest ASchwartz

What's normal to one person is abnormal to another. The same is true around the world, from culture to culture. What is normal? Is there such a thing? If I have auditory hallucinations but they do not bother me and I'm able to function in society, am I abnormal? I don't think so. Everyone is at this site because they want help with life issues and stresses. They also want to feel they have friends. Is that abnormal? I don't think so.

Allan:)

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Yeah Ive always enjoyed the fact that "normal" is a relative concept. Phew! :P Which is why Ive never understood the DSM stuff - I mean if im talkin to my ancestors am I delusional and hallucinatin?

Whats more normal seems to change with the times - it evolves - so what might seem freaky and radical now might be yesterday's news tomorrow - kinda scary actually!!

****

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