captainanxious Posted August 7, 2011 Report Share Posted August 7, 2011 Hi , sorry need to vent, I'm currently having a panic attack because I read this :http://www.queendom.com/advices/advice.htm?advice=15And it's exactly one of the thing I've done in my past...And what pisses me off, is that all the therapist, and psychiatrist told me its was nothing to worry about... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetSue Posted August 7, 2011 Report Share Posted August 7, 2011 Hi CA,Im not going to check out your link hun - sorry Do you know what to do to try ease your panic attack ?Take care Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
captainanxious Posted August 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 7, 2011 To ease my manic attack, I don't know, I would love to tell all my past to my girlfriend, or to be sure these memories are distorted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetSue Posted August 7, 2011 Report Share Posted August 7, 2011 No hun to help ease your Panic Attack - can you just try and calm your breathing, concentrate on taking steady breaths in, and out. Concentrate on your breathing and nothing else.Worry about what you feel you want to share with your girlfriend another time - once your panic attack has eased off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Musicman Posted August 7, 2011 Report Share Posted August 7, 2011 I checked the link. You're going to make it through this. You're not a bad person... You just made some dumb choices when you were young, but then again, who hasn't? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
captainanxious Posted August 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 7, 2011 In fact I'm not even sure I did this. I would say 80% sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Musicman Posted August 7, 2011 Report Share Posted August 7, 2011 In fact I'm not even sure I did this. I would say 80% sure.Okay, so you're one of "those" people . What I mean by that is that when you aren't sure of having committed these actions, there's no reason to beat yourself up for them. It's unfair to yourself when you may have not done anything wrong. And 80% odds really aren't great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
captainanxious Posted August 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 7, 2011 Yep but I had a flashback once about this, and what is weird is that I never thought about this before my depression.And now I fear the kid I had on my laps may remember and that his life would get screwed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Musicman Posted August 7, 2011 Report Share Posted August 7, 2011 What do you think of the possibility that you suffer from OCD? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
captainanxious Posted August 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 7, 2011 Yes I think I suffer from OCD, but it is not an excuse for my past behavior... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Musicman Posted August 7, 2011 Report Share Posted August 7, 2011 Yes I think I suffer from OCD, but it is not an excuse for my past behavior...Didn't you just say that you're not even entirely sure about your past behavior? Have you read Soregretful's thread? He started out very confident that he did wrong, but over the months, he was able to greatly lower that certainty. He still considers what he did very wrong, but not nearly as much so as what he'd thought before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
captainanxious Posted August 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 7, 2011 Nope I did not read it, I'm going to read it. My problem is quite similar to this :http://community.mentalhelp.net/showthread.php?t=7222&highlight=pedophile Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
captainanxious Posted August 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 7, 2011 The thought that are going through my head right now are :-What if he remember about that ?-What if I screwed his life ?I mean, how to accept that ? Ok I can accept I made a mistake, but I can't accept I may screwed someone's life ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malign Posted August 8, 2011 Report Share Posted August 8, 2011 CA, what I find interesting is that you say your problem is similar to a thread on this site in which someone was afraid they were a pedophile, and you yourself answered it, back then, that he was probably suffering from POCD.It certainly seems possible to me. So, what made you change your mind? Or do you just need a reminder that these runaway fears tend to be obsession-based? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
captainanxious Posted August 8, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 8, 2011 Yes I think I use this as a reminder, or a reassurance thing.The problem is I have one memory of another sexually inappropriate behavior, and this is not a distorted memory... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetSue Posted August 8, 2011 Report Share Posted August 8, 2011 Hey CA,Whats going on for you right now hun ?I know you get really anxious and become more nervous when your uncle visits, also that is when a lot of your memories seem to haunt you more. - is your uncle staying with you again ?Your therapist has told you that the things you done as a child were part of growing up CA, why are you torturing yourself over things that have caused no-one any harm ?Oh, and are you still seeing your therapist - is she helping you at all ?I hope your day is kind to you Take care hun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
captainanxious Posted August 8, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 8, 2011 Hi, yes, my uncle is still here... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetSue Posted August 8, 2011 Report Share Posted August 8, 2011 Hey CAThought so hun Is there anything that you can do to try and ease how anxious you are feeling ?Maybe meditation, or go for a walk, erm do something you enjoy ?Take care Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
captainanxious Posted August 8, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 8, 2011 I can't, I just have to wait till he leave... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetSue Posted August 9, 2011 Report Share Posted August 9, 2011 Hi CA What cant you do hun ? Cant you leave your house till he leaves ?Hope that you are okay Take care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
captainanxious Posted August 9, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 9, 2011 Yep but it would be avoidance... And I like my uncle.Now I obsess with that time where I was 14 and I kissed my 5 years old cousin on her lips while she was sleeping, and while I might be touching myself... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetSue Posted August 9, 2011 Report Share Posted August 9, 2011 Hi CA, Is this an actual memory or something that you think may of happened ?Maybe this is something you can bring up in your next therapy session ?I hope that your day is kind to you Take care Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
captainanxious Posted August 9, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 9, 2011 Nope it's a real memory sadly, and I already brought this in therapy many times, but I still feel overwhelming guilt about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetSue Posted August 9, 2011 Report Share Posted August 9, 2011 Hi Did your therapist teach you any ways of coping with your guilt ?Is there something which maybe you can do to try ease this guilt that you are feeling ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
captainanxious Posted August 9, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 9, 2011 Yep she reassured me, but that's all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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